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BOMT landed on an alternative timeliness of Earth in time for the ultimate holiday of love and kindness of man to his fellow man and transvestite. It was the time of year where miracles are celebrated: The annual wanking of the bull.

In this alternative timeliness timeline, Spaniards celebrate the life of the blind saint/ farmer Saint Pullington Juicer, who performed the miracle of accidentally milking a male bull and drawing milk. Theologians theorise that it may not have been milk.

Coincidently, the next day was Christmas. On Christmas day, their alternative St. Nicholas visits all the houses in the neighbourhood and guilt-trips the little children for not buying him a present and for being such greedy, self-centred shits that the they expect a stranger in a ridiculous red suit to buy ‘then' gifts.

BOMT drapes itself in mistletoe and KY Jelly as it oozes into this alternative universe where the wholesome seasonal holiday spirit has been overrun by cheesy Xmas porn and yuletime body secretions. There is no Rudalph the Red Nose Reindeer but there is Barry the Moose with Blue Balls, there is no I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas but there is I’m fantasising a naked elf with Cream Pie.

Words cannot describe the bodily secretions that are splooged all over the Christmas trees because these body secretions haven’t been named yet. The secretions are from sex acts so offensive, disgusting, and just plain wrong that only the most twisted and sickest pervert could find a way to secrete it while actually performing a sex act that, when we say words can’t describe it, is because no diseased mind has invented the words yet for that which cannot be imagined.

On this episode: we begin with the quandary that weighs on everyone’s mind during this synthetic, festive, season of unfilled expectations and high suicides: “Do you want to fuck a reindeer in the arse?”. We visit the most intelligent department store Santa in the Universe as he faces off against the worst filth in the galaxy: A young child. We feature Mean Morty’s Christmas tips, the stingy pointers on how to save money on Xmas and an inside peak at the Marketing firm of some plastically marketing types as they meet with the council of Rabbis and, despite having the mighty dreidel, proceed to ‘sex up Chanukah’.

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BOMT travels to the most sanitary planet of good taste and smells in the galaxy, a planet where shit doesn’t exist.

No animal or vegetable possesses an anus (that said, minerals possess a micro-atomic level mini anus however it is so tiny and theoretical that, for practical purposes, let’s just say that the concept of an asshole doesn’t exist in minerals either).

Piss also is unthinkable, there is no waste or unpleasant excretions of any time. A fart is impossible and unimaginable.

Even if an alien from outside the planet attempts, with all it’s might, to let go of a stage 3 flatulent event, the expelled gas will smell like the rest of the planet – like expensive perfume.

Obviously, in a planet without shit, piss, vomit or farts – BOMT felt so out of place and uncomfortable that it vacated, both the planet and its bowels, and left immediately.

In this episode we feature the best advise on how not to shit in the show (which is just don’t shit in the f-ing shower, the inspiration for the Armenian Polka hit “A Shark Is Eating My Arsehole”, The true (yea – right – true) story of Adolf Hitler and The Puckered Anus of A Syphilitic Dog With Haemorrhoids. And there’s more:

The Podcast award winner of some random year and a finally a plea (downright begging) to “Please Give Generously To MyEnormous Penis”

(Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

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🎙 This Episode: Offensive comedy, absurd satire, and unfiltered laughs await as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee travels to Planet Terseconsise—a place so succinct it only has three words in its dictionary: succinct, terse, and concise. Philosophers battle it out over its description, while the locals agree it smells, well… “succinct, terse, and concise.”

🔞 Highlights Include:

• Why you shouldn’t stick things where they don’t belong (we warned you).
• An exclusive interview with the creator of The Butler Who Murdered The Millionaire—a dud even alleys rejected.
• A hilarious tale of a father’s misguided love as the infamous Frimpton Baby poops itself.
• Plus, a premature ejaculation PSA featuring the timeless phrase: “Oops.”

☠️ Love dark humor, offensive jokes, and wildly absurd comedy? Stay tuned for more ridiculousness every week!

Follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google for uncensored laughs that push every boundary.

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BOMT watches its back and removes the knives as they appear in it as it revisits a world in which dark comedy writers are unnecessary since all the universe’s absurd, preposterous, and ridiculous crap has fallen from a wormhole and in the midst of a steamining intergalactic shitfest created a parallel stenchverse where satire and comedy is impossible as no comedy writer could ever imagine anything more ridiculous or absurd than writes itself since it is embedded in the very air they breathe.

It is the world of politics.

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Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor

Tags:

• Satirical comedy shows
• Twisted humor for adults
• Controversial comedy podcast

#offensivecomedy #offensivecomedyshow #darkhumour

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In this Twisted humor for adults episode BOMT shiftily sleazes backwards through the stench tunnel leading to the most putrid arsepit of sleaze and corruption, an antiuniverse where integrity has been replaced by putrid pig mick. It is the world of politics. It is a world where the entire population takes intelligence tests and the lowest scores win and govern and the highest scores lose and are governed.

We begin with the best tip on how to vote this upcoming election: “Vote for the Lesser Asshole.”

Next, in order to remain fair and impartial, we give equal time to party political broadcasts for “The Fucking Embarrassing Party” (this is truth in advertising… they really are fucking embarrassing) , “The Don’t Vote Party” (which has the wisest platform and they stand for not voting) , “The New Woke NAZI Party” (The goosestep goes woke), and “The ME Party” (which boasts the most common form of politician since, for them, EVERYTHING is about ME).
Stanley Shminglefart attempts to record a campaign speech and overcome his laughable name.

“The Liberal Inclusive Party” proves how inclusive they are, they can produce photos of their candidates standing next to every race, religion and type of person that a person can identitfy with, with the exception of somewhat normal podcast listeners.

We follow with political messages from the indescribable “Party of No Fixed Abode (and since it is indescribable we will not attempt to describe it) and “the Pity Party” (whether or not you vore for them – open your heart and please pity these poor, pathetic, unelectable bastards).

Finally –the revolutionary Sound Behind brings its revolutionary AI technology to the Margret Thatcher’s most famous speech as we hear the REAL goings-on behind the scenes.
Welcome/ warning intro
Theme music montage
Vote for the Lesser Asshole
Political Message – The Fucking Embarrassing Party
Political Message – The Don’t Vote Party
Political Message – The New Woke NAZI Party
Political Message – The ME Party
Vote Shminglefart
Political Message – The Liberal Inclusive Party
(PODCAST PROMO)
Political Message –Party of No Fixed Abode
Political Message – the Pity Party
THE SOUND BEHIND – Oooooh that Thatcher
Closing Credits Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor

Tags:

• Satirical comedy shows
• Twisted humor for adults
• Controversial comedy podcast

For all your dark humour, dark jokes and offensive jokes stay close!

(Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

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BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) goes hardcore e-S&M, submissively puts on a Kalavax dog collar, begged for forgiveness from the dominant Schlooglehabs of Planet Imyoubitch4, and insisted to be disciplined. It digitally exclaimed “I’m a naughty multidimensional toupee which is magical and operated by batteries… scrape my anticorrosive electrodes, drain my schmibblepiss fluid, suck my multi-dimension hyper- circuitstick and make me beg like the slut velutian veetlebink I am.”

We start with a question to the many of you who suffer in silence as you left your leg to a tree… “Do you have the toilet habits of a dog”

Next: Don’t Scrub Your Privates With Steel Wool. By privates we refer to your genitals, and by genitals we refer to your penis or vagina. And why shouldn’t you scrub your penis or vagina with steel wool? You’ll need to listen to get the answer.

Next a commercial message from Bonzo Butcher Budget Beef. Save money with our discount goat vaginas and the largest selection of assholes in the industry, including discount donkey rectums.

Next – the not famous Bert Smolinski of the not well known Bert Smolinski attempts a talent show… over an audio podcast.

Finally – a pandemic of loose pubic hair is coming. Listen to this warning so that you can prepare yourself for the devastating (and pretty disgusting) devastation of what is to come.
Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Do you have dog toilet habits?? - coming attraction Don’t Scrub Your Privates With Steel Wool Bonzo Butcher Beef commercial Talent Contest (PODCAST PROMO) Pubic Hair warning Closing Credits

For all your dark humour, dark jokes and offensive jokes stay close!

(Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

You can email us at: bomt@bomt.uk.

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BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) cloddingly clomped through “Huh-Um-Duh” the most illiterate dumbed down arse tunnel of the multiverse. The following was written inside the Ignorancy Wave Field of Huh-Um-Duh:

“BOMT go in thing. Go BOMT go. BOMT do farty sound, ha-ha, laff at BOMT pooy smell noise.”

As you listen to the episode, please make allowances that it was produced by people who are dysfunctional illiterates and are SO unsophisticated that most of their day is spent laughing at farts and poos and creating the very things they laugh at. The tragedy of the situation is that the creators have never been to Huh-Um-Duh and have been this way their whole lives on Earth.

The episode begins with help for those who suffer an anus prolapse every time one sneezes, which can become particularly embarrassing during hay fever season.

Having the pronoun “They” or “Vey” has become passé now that you can have your own exclusive, personalised, customised pronoun only at the The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop.

We feature an exclusive about Brantaslovavich’s most famous comedian and most depressing depressed manic-depressive in Brantaslovavich.

Many people want to make it and don’t make it due to not having THE missing ingredient which is revealed in the latest episode of ‘How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood’.

How did wars such as WW1 and WW2 and the upcoming WW3 get such original and creatives names? Discover the secret at our visit to The War Marketing Office.

We end with the messiest and stickiest sporting event of the decade – the Masturbation Championships.

Welcome/ warning intro

Theme music montage

Sneezing Anus Prolapse - coming attraction

The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop

Brantaslovavich’s Most Famous Comedian

How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood

(PODCAST PROMO)

War Marketing Office

Masturbation Championships

Closing Credits

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BOMT lands on the planet Attitude

Look buddy - we’ll tell you what this sodding episode of BOMT is about but DON’T ‘F-us-about’, okay!

I apologise. BOMT is visiting the Planet Attitude, a planet which boast the most attitude of any planet in the multiverse and it just got to me… the attitude. And… why the ‘F’ am I having to explain this shit to you? Who the hell do you think you are that… sorry it happened again. The AGF (Attitude Gravitas Force) of the planet deeply affects me.

We recommend that, before listening to this episode, you apologise to those around you in advance because the attitude will get you. And ‘F’ you if you don’t believe me and… sorry.

The episode begins with a warning about the most embarrassing sexual thing that can happen which is even more embarrassing than a limp, tiny, todger… losing control of your bowls during sex.

We then listen to another episode that, coincidentally, gets more complains than any other social media show: ‘Kev’s Complaints’.

Have you ever stepped in doggie poop and ruined your shoes? Well it may be time for you to buy the latest and greatest technological breakthrough: ‘The Turde Shite Detector’, which is SO sophisticated that we use the classy word ‘shite’ instead of the working class ‘shit’.

If you’re a sports fan then you are probably already not familiar at all with the greatest baseball legend in the multiverse: Skinny Stevenson and the tale of the first anal catch.

Finally – a warning about that restaurant that you are about the eat in: This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit. For those of you who have eaten in restaurants who take shit – this is what happens when you eat in one that doesn’t.

Welcome/ warning intro

Theme music montage

Losing control of Bowels during Sex

Kev Complains

The Turde Shite detector

(PODCAST PROMO)

The Sports Legend of Skinny Stevenson

This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit