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BOMT landed on an alternative timeliness of Earth in time for the ultimate holiday of love and kindness of man to his fellow man and transvestite. It was the time of year where miracles are celebrated: The annual wanking of the bull.

In this alternative timeliness timeline, Spaniards celebrate the life of the blind saint/ farmer Saint Pullington Juicer, who performed the miracle of accidentally milking a male bull and drawing milk. Theologians theorise that it may not have been milk.

Coincidently, the next day was Christmas. On Christmas day, their alternative St. Nicholas visits all the houses in the neighbourhood and guilt-trips the little children for not buying him a present and for being such greedy, self-centred shits that the they expect a stranger in a ridiculous red suit to buy ‘then' gifts.

BOMT drapes itself in mistletoe and KY Jelly as it oozes into this alternative universe where the wholesome seasonal holiday spirit has been overrun by cheesy Xmas porn and yuletime body secretions. There is no Rudalph the Red Nose Reindeer but there is Barry the Moose with Blue Balls, there is no I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas but there is I’m fantasising a naked elf with Cream Pie.

Words cannot describe the bodily secretions that are splooged all over the Christmas trees because these body secretions haven’t been named yet. The secretions are from sex acts so offensive, disgusting, and just plain wrong that only the most twisted and sickest pervert could find a way to secrete it while actually performing a sex act that, when we say words can’t describe it, is because no diseased mind has invented the words yet for that which cannot be imagined.

On this episode: we begin with the quandary that weighs on everyone’s mind during this synthetic, festive, season of unfilled expectations and high suicides: “Do you want to fuck a reindeer in the arse?”. We visit the most intelligent department store Santa in the Universe as he faces off against the worst filth in the galaxy: A young child. We feature Mean Morty’s Christmas tips, the stingy pointers on how to save money on Xmas and an inside peak at the Marketing firm of some plastically marketing types as they meet with the council of Rabbis and, despite having the mighty dreidel, proceed to ‘sex up Chanukah’.

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BOMT travels to the most sanitary planet of good taste and smells in the galaxy, a planet where shit doesn’t exist.

No animal or vegetable possesses an anus (that said, minerals possess a micro-atomic level mini anus however it is so tiny and theoretical that, for practical purposes, let’s just say that the concept of an asshole doesn’t exist in minerals either).

Piss also is unthinkable, there is no waste or unpleasant excretions of any time. A fart is impossible and unimaginable.

Even if an alien from outside the planet attempts, with all it’s might, to let go of a stage 3 flatulent event, the expelled gas will smell like the rest of the planet – like expensive perfume.

Obviously, in a planet without shit, piss, vomit or farts – BOMT felt so out of place and uncomfortable that it vacated, both the planet and its bowels, and left immediately.

In this episode we feature the best advise on how not to shit in the show (which is just don’t shit in the f-ing shower, the inspiration for the Armenian Polka hit “A Shark Is Eating My Arsehole”, The true (yea – right – true) story of Adolf Hitler and The Puckered Anus of A Syphilitic Dog With Haemorrhoids. And there’s more:

The Podcast award winner of some random year and a finally a plea (downright begging) to “Please Give Generously To MyEnormous Penis”

(Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

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🎙 This Episode: Offensive comedy, absurd satire, and unfiltered laughs await as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee travels to Planet Terseconsise—a place so succinct it only has three words in its dictionary: succinct, terse, and concise. Philosophers battle it out over its description, while the locals agree it smells, well… “succinct, terse, and concise.”

🔞 Highlights Include:

• Why you shouldn’t stick things where they don’t belong (we warned you).
• An exclusive interview with the creator of The Butler Who Murdered The Millionaire—a dud even alleys rejected.
• A hilarious tale of a father’s misguided love as the infamous Frimpton Baby poops itself.
• Plus, a premature ejaculation PSA featuring the timeless phrase: “Oops.”

☠️ Love dark humor, offensive jokes, and wildly absurd comedy? Stay tuned for more ridiculousness every week!

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