In this episode, host Janet Simpson delves into the complex topic of children's sexuality development, particularly in the context of the influence of pornography.

The podcast explores how the narrow and often unrealistic depictions of sex in pornography can shape a child's understanding of their own sexuality, potentially leading to confusion, frustration, and a disconnect from their authentic feelings and experiences.

As a parent or caregiver, the episode emphasises the crucial role you play in providing a safe and open space for your child to explore their sexuality, ask questions, and develop a healthy, critical perspective. The discussion encourages you to model thoughtful, nuanced conversations about sexuality, challenging the one-dimensional narratives that may be presented online or in media.

Whether you're a parent, educator, or simply someone interested in understanding this sensitive topic better, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the complexities of children's sexual development in the digital age. Tune in to learn how you can support your child's journey of self-discovery and empower them to own their sexuality.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

On 'Talking Taboo,' I'm diving into a topic that many parents find challenging to address: masturbation. I believe it’s essential to have open and honest conversations about this aspect of sexual pleasure, instead of letting it become a source of shame or secrecy. Masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality, and by discussing it with our children, we can help them develop a healthy relationship with their own bodies and desires.

One of the key points I make is the importance of mindful masturbation - being truly present in the body, instead of relying on screens or constant visual stimulation. In our digital age, there’s a risk of young people becoming overly dependent on online content for sexual gratification, which can create unhealthy habits. I encourage parents to guide their children toward understanding their own pleasure in a way that’s grounded in reality, not just what they see on a screen.

I also explore how boys and girls might experience and express sexual arousal differently, which makes these conversations even more important. For girls, the topic can often be cloaked in greater stigma, making it crucial for parents to create a safe and supportive space for their daughters to explore these feelings without judgement. Boys, on the other hand, may face different pressures around sexual performance and expectations.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

In 'Consent Conversations,' I dive deep into the topic of early communication and why teaching consent to our children is crucial. It’s not just about sexual consent—it’s about understanding boundaries, respect, and personal space from a young age. I explore how we can help our children learn to say and recognise "yes," and "no" in a variety of situations, empowering them to make choices that feel right for them.

I also highlight the NSPCC’s 'Pants' acronym, a simple and effective way to educate children about privacy and boundaries. It’s about making these conversations approachable and age-appropriate, so kids understand that their body belongs to them and that it's okay to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.

One thing I focus on is clearing up misconceptions about consent, especially among young adults. Many still struggle to understand that a clear "no" is non-negotiable, and even a hesitant "maybe" can mean it’s time to pause and communicate more. It’s our job to set the foundation early, making sure our children grow up with a healthy understanding of boundaries.

I don’t shy away from discussing the influence of inappropriate content, like sexualised language or behaviours kids might encounter. These things can confuse them if we don’t step in to explain and contextualise what they’re seeing or hearing. I encourage parents to have open, curious, and non-judgmental conversations with their kids to help them feel safe to ask questions and express their feelings.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

I’m tackling the uncomfortable topic of shock porn—a side of the internet we wish didn’t exist, but one we can’t afford to ignore. I share a story from a parent whose child accidentally stumbled upon explicit animal content on TikTok, leaving the child confused and traumatised. It’s a stark reminder of why we, as parents, need to be the ones leading these conversations, rather than waiting for our kids to encounter things they’re not ready to understand.

Exposure to shock porn can leave lasting scars. I discuss how trauma from these experiences can manifest in two ways: overt trauma, which is immediately apparent, and covert trauma, which can linger beneath the surface and resurface in unexpected ways later in life. It’s the hidden nature of covert trauma that makes early, honest conversations about sex so essential.

I want parents to be proactive - not reactive - in guiding their children through these difficult topics. It’s not just about protecting them from shock content, but also about equipping them to understand what they might see or hear in a way that feels safe and manageable.

By being proactive and present, we can minimise the impact of accidental exposure and ensure our children develop a healthy, realistic understanding of sex. It’s about breaking the silence and replacing it with dialogue that’s honest, compassionate, and sometimes even a little bit funny—because laughter can often be the best way to diffuse the intensity of these situations.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

This week I’m diving into the crucial differences between what’s real and what’s fantasy, especially when it comes to our kids' exposure to pornography. It’s a topic that’s tough to talk about, but we can't ignore the fact that most children will encounter explicit content by the age of 11, with some even younger. This reality makes it all the more essential for us as parents to understand these distinctions so we can guide our children.

One of the concepts I explore is the erotic equation: attraction plus obstacle equals excitement. This formula is often exploited by the porn industry, which normalises fantasies that have little to do with real-life intimacy. Without our input, children might start to think that what they see on a screen is what sex is really like, leading to confusion and potentially harmful behaviour as they grow.

I’m urging parents to open up conversations about what’s real and what’s fantasy—breaking down the images and ideas they might come across online and putting them into context. These aren’t one-off talks; they’re ongoing dialogues that help our children distinguish between healthy sexuality and unrealistic portrayals.

My goal in this episode is to encourage you to build communication bridges with your kids. By fostering trust and openness, we can help them develop a healthy understanding of their own sexuality and navigate relationships with clarity. It’s not about shutting down curiosity; it’s about guiding it, ensuring they feel safe to ask questions and explore their feelings without shame.

Let's work together to be that guiding light in our children’s lives.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

In this episode, I’m getting right to the heart of why it's so important to have honest conversations with our kids about sex. I know it can be awkward and uncomfortable, but if we don’t step in to guide them, they’ll be left to figure it out on their own—and that can lead to some dangerous misconceptions.

From a young age, children are curious, and they’re picking up messages about sex from everywhere—media, friends, and social expectations. Without our guidance, they might associate sex with things like power, control, or even violence. I’m here to encourage you to make these conversations a priority, starting early and keeping them going as they grow.

In this episode, I address the societal normalisation of certain practices, like anal sex, which are often portrayed without any real education around the health or emotional implications. It’s a huge gap that we, as parents, need to fill by talking openly about the realities of sex—what it is, what it isn’t, and how it can be both safe and intimate.

I want to empower you to have those candid and vulnerable conversations, even if you’re not sure where to start. Together, we can help our children understand that sex is not just about physical acts but also about connection, respect, and emotional intimacy. I’ll share practical tips on how to get comfortable with these topics and how to create an open environment where our kids feel safe to ask questions.

It’s not about having all the answers; it’s about being there to guide them through the confusion, dispel myths, and foster a healthy understanding of what sex is really all about. Let's face this challenge together—because our kids need us to be their safe space and first source of truth.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

I'm diving into the fascinating and somewhat controversial topic of AI in Porn and what it is bringing to the industry. AI is rapidly transforming how porn is created and consumed, and it’s something we need to talk about openly. One of the key points I explore is how AI has the potential to personalise erotic content based on individual user preferences, creating a tailored experience like never before. While that might sound enticing, there’s a lot more to unpack.

AI-generated content offers a safer, more ethical alternative to traditional porn, as it can create fantasy scenarios without involving real actors. This has the potential to eliminate the exploitation, coercion, and non-consensual acts that we’ve sadly seen in some corners of the industry. However, there’s a fine line between using AI for ethical fantasy creation and falling into the trap of emotional regulation misuse—using porn as a crutch to avoid real-life emotional development.

I also touch on the neurological effects of prolonged porn use, especially when it’s used as a tool to manage emotions or stress. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sort of “survival state” that hinders emotional and social growth. This is a real concern, especially for young people, who might not fully understand how their brains and bodies are being impacted by constant exposure to sexual content.

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is the need to distinguish fantasy from reality. While AI might offer a safer, more consensual experience, it’s crucial to remind ourselves—and especially our children—that what we see on a screen isn’t a reflection of real-life relationships or sexual encounters. We have to be mindful about how these technologies are shaping our views on intimacy and connection.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

In this episode, I introduce a Talking Toolkit for Parents—a set of practical tools to help navigate those tricky conversations with your children about sex and relationships. I break it down into six key areas:

• Learning the language of safety, so your kids can set boundaries confidently.
• Building an A to Z vocabulary on sex and relationships, giving them the words to express themselves without shame.
• Understanding your own erotic landscape so you can approach conversations without projecting discomfort.
• Keeping a mindful mindset to stay calm and curious when difficult topics come up.
• Creating a culture of openness at home, so these aren’t one-off conversations but ongoing dialogues.
• Developing strong listening skills, as sometimes, all they need is to be heard without judgment.

I also highlight the importance of being aware of cultural influences and addressing shame early to prevent long-term issues. This toolkit will help you create a safe, open environment where your children feel comfortable discussing these important topics.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/