The Power of Validation - Communication That Transforms - This episode focuses on the critical role of validation in communicating with anxious children

Dr. Tan explains how dismissing a child's fears can worsen their anxiety and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their feelings

Validation acts as a "bridge" to help anxious children move towards coping strategies

The episode provides examples of how to validate a child's feelings by using phrases such as "It sounds like you're really worried" instead of dismissing their fears

It also introduces the "Feel and Deal" approach, which involves validating the emotion first, then working on coping strategies together.

The key takeaway is that validation creates emotional safety, which is necessary for children to face their fears

Course: Making sense of anxious kids

IMPORTANT NOTE:

Understanding Your Anxious Child's Mind - This episode introduces the concept of anxiety as an oversensitive "smoke alarm" in children, creating a "threat telescope" effect where minor issues seem overwhelming

Dr. Tan emphasizes that anxious children aren't being difficult; they are responding to a world that feels genuinely threatening

He also discusses how anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical complaints, avoidance, and irritability

The episode highlights the importance of understanding what is happening in a child's mind to better support them

It encourages parents to shift their perspective from "What's wrong?" to "What feels unsafe right now?"

Course: Making Sense of Anxious Kids

IMPORTANT NOTE:

The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health.

The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience

Making Sense of Anxious Kids

Join Dr. Davin Tan as he delves into why some kids exhibit challenging behaviours and how we can better support them. He discusses:

• Misconceptions about "misbehavior" and the importance of understanding root causes.

• The "problem of fit" and how demands on children can exceed their coping abilities.

• Becoming a behaviour detective using the "ABC" method.

• The role of temperament in children's behaviour.

• Creating a supportive environment with empathy and understanding.

• Long-term strategies to help kids manage their emotions.

For more strategies, check out Dr. Tan's course MAKING SENSE OF ANXIOUS KIDS self paced audio course "www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids"

A recap of the Meltdown Solution Series.

EBOOK available for download:

https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

The STEPs procedure is an excellent, effective and easy method of creating solutions to problems that lead to meltdowns. It does take some practice but it saves you time and energy and helps your children to build up resilience as you go through this process.

The Meltdown Solution EBOOK

https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

In this episode, we dive into Chapter 4 of the ebook, exploring how to create a Heatmap of Friction Points. This visual tool helps identify when and where meltdowns are likely to occur, enabling you to address potential triggers and create smoother transitions throughout the day.

Creating Your Own Heatmap:

1. Draw a timeline: Outline your typical day.

2. Mark meltdown times: Use red dots for frequent meltdowns.

3. Stressful periods: Mark these with orange dots.

4. Calm periods: Use green dots to indicate easy times.

Identifying Patterns:

• Look for clusters of red/orange dots.

• Identify challenging times and activities that lead to stress.

Real-Life Example:

• Sarah's Story: Sarah noticed her son had meltdowns around 4 PM. She adjusted her routine by preparing dinner earlier, setting up a quiet activity for her son, and involving him in simple food prep tasks. These changes turned a red spot on her Heatmap into a green one.

Using Your Heatmap:

1. Identify Patterns: Spot clusters of stress points.

2. Consider Factors: Think about hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation.

3. Brainstorm Solutions: Adjust schedules, prepare in advance, create routines, and introduce calming activities.

4. Implement Gradually: Focus on one or two friction points at a time.

5. Reassess Regularly: Review and update your Heatmap every few weeks.

• Pause the podcast to jot down one red spot on your Heatmap and three strategies to address it.

1. Overwhelming Red Spots: Focus on the most challenging times first.

2. Unpredictable Days: Look for patterns in activities rather than specific times.

3. Involving Your Child: Create a Heatmap together or use stickers for younger children.

4. Partner Disagreements: Create individual Heatmaps and compare notes.

5. Seeing Improvements: Consistent effort should show changes within weeks, though progress may not always be linear.

• The Heatmap aims to reduce unnecessary stress, not eliminate all challenges. Frustration is a normal part of child development.

• Homework: Create your own Heatmap, track your routine, and focus on one friction point.

Link to the Meltdown Solution eBook : https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

In this episode, we delve into Chapter 3 of the The MELTDOWN SOLUTION ebook. The SAVE Protocol. This essential strategy is your go-to for managing meltdowns as they happen. By the end, you'll have a powerful tool to help your child navigate intense emotional moments.

• Recap of Previous Episode:

  • Differentiating between tantrums and meltdowns.

  • Identifying common triggers and early warning signs.

• Introduction to the SAVE Protocol:

  • S: Safety First - Prioritise removing hazards and creating a calm space.

  • A: Assess and Approach - Evaluate the situation and approach your child calmly.

  • V: Validate Feelings - Acknowledge and accept your child's emotions.

  • E: Engage Calmly - Maintain a calm presence and offer comfort or space as needed.

• Real-Life Application:

  • Scenario walkthrough: Applying the SAVE Protocol to a child frustrated with a puzzle.

  • Practical tips for public settings and when feeling overwhelmed.

• Common Challenges and Questions:

  • Adapting the SAVE Protocol in public.

  • Managing your own emotions.

  • Dealing with violent meltdowns.

  • Patience and consistency in applying the protocol.

  • The importance of supporting your child through ongoing meltdowns.

• Role-Playing Exercise:

  • Practicing the SAVE Protocol with a playground scenario.

  • Reflection on how the protocol feels and its effectiveness.

• Homework:

  • Implement the SAVE Protocol during your child's next meltdown.

  • Reflect on what worked and areas for improvement.