Motherhood of Choice: Infertility, Adoption, Race & Everything in Between

Chavie and Malka begin the conversation by reflecting on their shared experience of marrying young and expecting to have children right away. They discuss the harsh reality of infertility, the emotional toll of repeated interventions, and the pivotal decision to stop and consider new options. Together, they break down the step-by-step process of choosing adoption, challenging the notions of a homogeneous family where everyone looks alike and shares the same background. Malka shares her experience of adopting a Black child while living in Crown Heights, where the values established by the Lubavitcher Rebbe promote inclusivity, yet daily life presented painful challenges. She and Chavie explore their differing approaches to raising a family of choice, weighing the mental health implications of giving space to grief over infertility, the nuances of acknowledging differences between biological and adopted children, and the complexities of being White parents to Black children in a world that sometimes views such a decision with suspicion. They also discuss the progress in conversations around race in the Chassidic community and the hope it brings for their children.

Malka Groden is an adoptive mother of three children. Every day, she thanks G-d for her infertility, without which she would not have been blessed with her beautiful family. She oversees fundraising at a Jewish nonprofit and loves the opportunity to spend time with and learn from generous individuals.

Referenced on the Pod

Adopting Our Daughters by Rabbi Chaim Bruk

PUAH Fertility

Lessons in Heichaltzu

The Rebbe’s Words to Mayor David Dinkins

The Rebbe Didn’t Discriminate, Neither Should We

Should White People Adopt Black Kids with Jada Pinkett-Smith

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This episode is dedicated by Chaim Meir Hazan and his fiancé Sandra Chokron in honor of Mrs. Chavie and Rabbi Chaim Bruk.

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Beyond the Surface: How To Heal & Restore Our Skin

Chavie begins the conversation by sharing her struggles with skincare and the transformative experience that led her to Linda, forming a deep friendship along the way. Linda reflects on what it was like to be born in Hawaii, grow up in Washington State, and move to Japan with her family for middle school. She shares how, after returning to the West Coast for college, she started out in retail, transitioned to the tech industry at Microsoft, and eventually found her way to Bozeman, where she embarked on a new career in skincare. Together, Chavie and Linda explore the connection between skin, body, and the nervous system, the power of showing up as we are, and the tension of being in the wellness industry when the products are so often driven by harmful trends.

Linda is a holistic esthetician who believes in safe, non-toxic skincare, touch-focused techniques, and non-invasive technology that supports skin health. She believes that skin health comes from understanding how our body’s systems operate and are linked. Living in the sunny and arid mountains of Montana, she puts a significant emphasis on how the environment and climate can influence skin health.

Referenced on the Pod

Always consult your aesthetician, and consider your budget, lifestyle, and environment when making decisions about your skin care.

Microcurrent Facials

Red Light Therapy Masks & LED Face Masks

LED Light Therapy

Surgeon Compares Facial Tissue With & Without Fillers+Botox

Stay in touch with Linda! www.handsomefolk.beauty Linda's Instagram

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Rabbi Chaim’s Story: Mentorship, Growth, & Therapy

Chavie begins the conversation by asking Chaim about his childhood, growing up under the Rebbe’s wings in Crown Heights. He shares how idyllic it was to live in the Rebbe’s presence and how it permeated every aspect of daily life. He also reflects on some of the negative influences he absorbed as a yeshiva student, particularly the “you are with us or against us” mentality. Chaim talks about how his marriage to Chavie and the personal growth that followed helped shift his perspective, allowing him to see the world in a more nuanced way. He and Chavie discuss the importance of having a mentor—an objective third party to guide couples—along with seeking more rigorous support through therapy. Chaim and Chavie share numerous personal anecdotes about how this approach has helped them navigate the often-turbulent reality of raising five adopted children in the remote Jewish outpost of Bozeman, Montana.

Rabbi Chaim Bruk is the Co-CEO and spiritual leader of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana. He moved to Montana in 2007 with his wife Chavie, where they launched a renaissance of Jewish life across the state. They are raising their five children in Big Sky Country, where they enjoy nature daily. Chaim loves teaching Torah, writing about Judaism and current events, and has an obsession with kosher sushi.

Referenced on the Pod

• "My Rofeh Yedid, Dr. Feldman"
• The Need for Mentorship
• "Mama’s Boy"

Stay in touch with Rabbi Chaim! www.jewishmontana.com www.instagram.com/chabadmontana X @MontanaJew Weekly Torah Class on Youtube Montana's Jewish Voice

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is sponsored by Dr. Leorah Ross and her daughter Kochav in honor of the yahrzeit of her father, Reb Shmuel Zev OBM, and in honor of Klal Yisroel, our amazing Jewish family.

This week’s episode is also dedicated by Daniel ben Yita Feiga and Sarah Emunah bas Sarah, who are dear friends and pillars of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana.

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Nurturing Your Creative Soul

Mina and Chavie begin by reminiscing about their high school days together in Chicago. Mina reflects on how her parents nurtured creativity in each of their children, inspiring her to explore photography and writing. She then shares the earth-shattering moment when, at just eight years old, she learned her brother passed away as an infant due to a genetic condition. She and Chavie discuss Ambiguous Loss—the often-overlooked, long-term impact of unresolved grief. Mina describes how, from the moment she learned of her brother’s death, she began “looking for her brother” and committed her life to helping children with special needs. Chavie and Mina talk about the many roles women navigate throughout their lives and the importance to know, “you can do it all but not all at the same time.” Mina shares her own journey with life coaching and somatic healing, which led to her to participate in Chai Lifeline’s Tour de Simcha, a 50-mile cycling marathon with a fourteen month old baby.

Mina Richler is a proud Jewish woman and a loving mother of seven. She was born and raised with her twelve siblings in New City, New York as grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. In 2007, Mina co-founded Chabad of Gloucester County with her husband Avi and serves as Rebbetzin and Director for Women & Youth. Mina's happy place is over a hot cup of coffee and in deep discussion with just about anyone. In her spare time Mina can be found writing, road cycling, or behind a camera capturing G-d's beautiful people and life as it is.

Referenced on the Pod

• Dr. Edith Eger
• Ambiguous Loss - Dr. Pauline Boss
• Chai Lifeline - Tour de Simcha
• Grit by Angela Duckworth

Stay in touch with Mina! Mina’s Blog www.instagram.com/minarichler

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is dedicated by our dear friends Maxine and Ralph Milliken in loving memory of their dear son Todd Edward Wasserman, Tanchum Peretz, who spent the final few months of his life in Bozeman enjoying the great outdoors, and sadly left his world at a young age due to his struggle with asthma. He was a giver and was always there to help others in their time of need.

For dedications, sponsorships, or advertising opportunities reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Interior Design: It Starts from Within

Brochie talks with Chavie about pausing her interior design business after having twins, which created an "empty space" for her to explore a new approach to design. She shares how she discovered Human Design, which focuses on identifying one's unique gift to share with the world and the most natural way to do so. Chavie and Brochie discuss how and if this aligns with Hassidic and Jewish values of dedicating all talents and skills to serving Hashem. Brochie then shares how she came across Designology and the Place Types method, which helped her identify her clients' unique aesthetics rather than following a rigid color palette approach. Together, Chavie and Brochie discuss their frustrations with design trends and explore which styles resonate most with them.

Brochie Spritzer is a luxury interior designer who uncovers each client’s unique style through their personality. Just as your personality influences how you dress, it also shapes your interior design style. Brochie brings the concept of "placetypes" to life, showing how different personalities translate into interiors. Instead of imposing a signature look, she designs from her clients’ perspective, creating spaces that feel personal, sophisticated, and one of a kind.

Referenced on the Pod

• Mellisa Wood - Tepperberg on Human Design with Jenna Zoe
• Designology - Sally Augustin
• Jeff Shelton, Architect
• Studio McGee
• Chris Loves Julia - Pottery Barn Collection

Stay in touch with Brochie! brochieinteriors@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/brochiespritzer/

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is sponsored by the Jewish Children's Library Fund, which helps establish Jewish children's libraries in communities across the United States. The goal is to create libraries in community members' homes, providing a dedicated space—beyond school or shul—where children can experience Jewish pride. The fund offers matching grants and a database to help you get started. If you or someone you know is interested in opening a library, text Reuven Rockford at 954-709-9541 and visit their website at www.jewishchildrenslibraryfund.com.

For dedications, sponsorships, or advertising opportunities reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Finding Your Voice Through Fashion

Chavie and Michal compare notes on growing up outside mainstream religious communities, and speaking Yiddish and Hebrew, respectively, as their first languages. Michal shares how she developed a passion for education early on and always knew she wanted to be a teacher. Chavie and Michal then discuss how although teaching might not be the most glamorous career, it is such a powerful position and should only be pursued by those who are truly passionate and qualified. Michal shares how she realized that "what she does" is not "who she is" which helped her navigate launching her online fashion business while also running a Chabad House and being a full-time mom. Michal and Chavie discuss the unique needs of the modest consumer, sharing tips and best practices for looking your best while shopping smart and spending wisely.

Michal was born and raised in Long Beach, California. She is a devoted mother, business owner, and educator who leads Chabad House in Toluca Lake together with her husband. After spending a decade teaching middle school in Los Angeles and running a homeschool in The Valley, Michal transitioned to entrepreneurship, creating a unique, quality-driven modest fashion brand. Her deep appreciation for fashion is matched by her lifelong passion for education. Known for curating designs from around the world, Michal caters to the modern, modest, and fashion-forward woman. She loves inspiring women to care for themselves at every stage of life, empowering them to embrace their creativity and express their individuality through clothing.

This Week's Q&A’s

1. Was the yoga retreat you attended a Jewish program?
2. Are your kids resentful when you travel?
3. Did you stay at the retreat for Shabbos or at the local Chabad House?

Referenced on the Pod

• Child Development Specialist, Dr. Siggie

Stay in touch with Michal!

www.instagram.com/shopmoddo

www.shopmoddo.com

Stay in touch with Chavie!

www.instagram.com/chaviebruk

www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is dedicated by Rabbi Shneur Zalman and Mimi Felig of Miami in loving memory of their son, Boruch Sholom Dovber ben Shenur Zalman. Also in honor of the Bruk family and the entire team at Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana, with blessings for continued success in their holy work, including this podcast, Totally Unexpected!

For dedications, sponsorships, or advertising opportunities reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Hashem, Challenge Accepted!

Sheva and Chavie begin by discussing the value of dark humor as a coping mechanism for navigating life’s painful moments. Sheva reflects on her childhood, growing up in the desert of Tucson, Arizona, on a beautiful 10-acre property raised by her hippie parents. After being expelled from high school, she attended a school for troubled youth. At 15, she found a job and eventually left home at 16. Sheva shares with Chavie how the challenges she faced as a teenager helped her identify with her daughter, Rozie, who was born with Down syndrome. Labeled by society as "high functioning," Rozie doesn’t fit neatly into societal categories—neither fully part of the special needs community nor the "normal" world. Sheva also talks about her journey to becoming frum, finding structure while striving to maintain her individuality. In addition to her spiritual journey, Sheva shares about studying fine arts with a focus on illustration, becoming an EMT, and taking pride in raising a creative family.

Sheva Givre was born and raised in the beautiful desert of Arizona, lived in Baltimore, Maryland and recently moved to Parkland, Florida. She used to be the author and photographer of the inspiration blog, My Shtub. In recent years she changed her advocacy from blog writing to social media where she shares the joys and challenges of family, motherhood, and raising her four children including a child with special needs.

This Week's Q&A’s

1. I recently got married and moved across the world to a new country and it's been really hard to start from scratch without knowing anyone. Any tips?
2. I just lost my son in the summer and I’m having a hard time coping with lifecycle and seasonal transitions. Any advice?
3. What’s your ideal travel to at-home ratio where everything feels balanced?

Referenced on the Pod

• “Ace’s” Trauma Evaluation Screening

Stay in touch with Sheva!

www.instagram.com/pearlyluart

Stay in touch with Chavie!

www.instagram.com/chaviebruk

www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is sponsored by East Side Kosher Deli in Denver, Colorado, a one stop kosher concierge for your vacation anywhere out West. For more information please visit www.eastsidekosherdeli.com or chat with a representative on WhatsApp at 747-243 -1683.

For sponsorship or advertising opportunities reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Parenting Teens & Ourselves

Shaina and Chavie start off by reflecting on Shaina’s upbringing on Shlichus (Chabad outreach) in 1970s Los Angeles. They explore how the unique challenges of her childhood and teenage years pushed her to grow up before she had the tools to manage her emotional and mental health. As a young parent, Shaina was determined to break the cycle, so she sought help to equip herself with the skills to raise her children differently. Chavie and Shaina discuss somatic techniques for regulating conflict and challenges with children and teens, emphasizing the importance of managing our body’s responses. Shaina also highlights the need to shed shame and stigma in our communities around issues like infertility and teenage struggles while respecting boundaries and privacy.

Shaina lives in Los Angeles and is a certified parent and life coach specializing in working with and supporting parents of teens. Her journey began–like that of many parents—navigating the uncharted waters of raising children without a guidebook. She immersed herself in countless parenting resources, often second-guessing her decisions along the way. This experience inspired her to pursue professional certification, with a focus on the transformative approach of “parenting from the inside out.”

This Week's Q&A’s

1. Where was your dress from that you wore at the Chai Lifeline Dinner?
2. When does ski season start in Montana?
3. What does Chai Lifeline do for you in Montana?

Referenced on the Pod

• Avi Fishoff, Twisted Parenting
• Michal Carlebach, Shop Moddo

Stay in touch with Shaina! www.instagram.com/parenteen_coach

www.parenteencoach.com

Stay in touch with Chavie!

www.instagram.com/chaviebruk

www.totallyunexpected.blog

For sponsorship or advertising opportunities reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chaviebruk@gmail.com.