Motherhood of Choice: Infertility, Adoption, Race & Everything in Between

Chavie and Malka begin the conversation by reflecting on their shared experience of marrying young and expecting to have children right away. They discuss the harsh reality of infertility, the emotional toll of repeated interventions, and the pivotal decision to stop and consider new options. Together, they break down the step-by-step process of choosing adoption, challenging the notions of a homogeneous family where everyone looks alike and shares the same background. Malka shares her experience of adopting a Black child while living in Crown Heights, where the values established by the Lubavitcher Rebbe promote inclusivity, yet daily life presented painful challenges. She and Chavie explore their differing approaches to raising a family of choice, weighing the mental health implications of giving space to grief over infertility, the nuances of acknowledging differences between biological and adopted children, and the complexities of being White parents to Black children in a world that sometimes views such a decision with suspicion. They also discuss the progress in conversations around race in the Chassidic community and the hope it brings for their children.

Malka Groden is an adoptive mother of three children. Every day, she thanks G-d for her infertility, without which she would not have been blessed with her beautiful family. She oversees fundraising at a Jewish nonprofit and loves the opportunity to spend time with and learn from generous individuals.

Referenced on the Pod

Adopting Our Daughters by Rabbi Chaim Bruk

PUAH Fertility

Lessons in Heichaltzu

The Rebbe’s Words to Mayor David Dinkins

The Rebbe Didn’t Discriminate, Neither Should We

Should White People Adopt Black Kids with Jada Pinkett-Smith

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This episode is dedicated by Chaim Meir Hazan and his fiancé Sandra Chokron in honor of Mrs. Chavie and Rabbi Chaim Bruk.

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Beyond the Surface: How To Heal & Restore Our Skin

Chavie begins the conversation by sharing her struggles with skincare and the transformative experience that led her to Linda, forming a deep friendship along the way. Linda reflects on what it was like to be born in Hawaii, grow up in Washington State, and move to Japan with her family for middle school. She shares how, after returning to the West Coast for college, she started out in retail, transitioned to the tech industry at Microsoft, and eventually found her way to Bozeman, where she embarked on a new career in skincare. Together, Chavie and Linda explore the connection between skin, body, and the nervous system, the power of showing up as we are, and the tension of being in the wellness industry when the products are so often driven by harmful trends.

Linda is a holistic esthetician who believes in safe, non-toxic skincare, touch-focused techniques, and non-invasive technology that supports skin health. She believes that skin health comes from understanding how our body’s systems operate and are linked. Living in the sunny and arid mountains of Montana, she puts a significant emphasis on how the environment and climate can influence skin health.

Referenced on the Pod

Always consult your aesthetician, and consider your budget, lifestyle, and environment when making decisions about your skin care.

Microcurrent Facials

Red Light Therapy Masks & LED Face Masks

LED Light Therapy

Surgeon Compares Facial Tissue With & Without Fillers+Botox

Stay in touch with Linda! www.handsomefolk.beauty Linda's Instagram

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Rabbi Chaim’s Story: Mentorship, Growth, & Therapy

Chavie begins the conversation by asking Chaim about his childhood, growing up under the Rebbe’s wings in Crown Heights. He shares how idyllic it was to live in the Rebbe’s presence and how it permeated every aspect of daily life. He also reflects on some of the negative influences he absorbed as a yeshiva student, particularly the “you are with us or against us” mentality. Chaim talks about how his marriage to Chavie and the personal growth that followed helped shift his perspective, allowing him to see the world in a more nuanced way. He and Chavie discuss the importance of having a mentor—an objective third party to guide couples—along with seeking more rigorous support through therapy. Chaim and Chavie share numerous personal anecdotes about how this approach has helped them navigate the often-turbulent reality of raising five adopted children in the remote Jewish outpost of Bozeman, Montana.

Rabbi Chaim Bruk is the Co-CEO and spiritual leader of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana. He moved to Montana in 2007 with his wife Chavie, where they launched a renaissance of Jewish life across the state. They are raising their five children in Big Sky Country, where they enjoy nature daily. Chaim loves teaching Torah, writing about Judaism and current events, and has an obsession with kosher sushi.

Referenced on the Pod

• "My Rofeh Yedid, Dr. Feldman"
• The Need for Mentorship
• "Mama’s Boy"

Stay in touch with Rabbi Chaim! www.jewishmontana.com www.instagram.com/chabadmontana X @MontanaJew Weekly Torah Class on Youtube Montana's Jewish Voice

Stay in touch with Chavie! www.instagram.com/chaviebruk www.totallyunexpected.blog

This week's episode is sponsored by Dr. Leorah Ross and her daughter Kochav in honor of the yahrzeit of her father, Reb Shmuel Zev OBM, and in honor of Klal Yisroel, our amazing Jewish family.

This week’s episode is also dedicated by Daniel ben Yita Feiga and Sarah Emunah bas Sarah, who are dear friends and pillars of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana.

Want to sponsor an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.