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  • Date Selfishly, Love Authentically: Matchmaking Wisdom from Daphney Poyser

    Date Selfishly, Love Authentically: Matchmaking Wisdom from Daphney Poyser
    2025/06/09
    Have you ever stared at your phone wondering where all the emotionally available adults are? In today’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we have Daphney Poyser, the founder and CEO of Fern Connections—a values-driven, LGBTQIA+ and ally-inclusive matchmaking and dating coaching company. Daphney’s mission is help people date with intention and build meaningful relationships rooted in authenticity. Today, she’s here to help us navigate dating—especially while sober—with more clarity and confidence.We dig into the real-life challenges of dating in recovery, touching on everything from emotional prep work to the myths we carry from childhood about what love should look like. What does compatibility really mean? Is it okay to have expectations? And what does it mean to “selfishly date”—and why is that a good thing?You'll s will walk away with tools for building more conscious relationships—whether you’re using a dating app, working with a matchmaker, or stepping out into the sober dating world for the first time.You’ll also hear Daphney’s personal story—how becoming a widow in 2019 led her to pivot out of corporate America and into founding Fern Connections, a service inspired in part by her queer daughter and family members. Daphney shares her own journey of finding love again later in life, learning to set boundaries, and building a business that centers care, consent, and clarity.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.Episode Highlights00:02 – Meet Daphney Poyser, and how losing her husband led her to start a matchmaking company00:04 – Why Fern Connections was created to serve the LGBTQIA+ and ally community00:07 – Discussing sober dating and what it means to show up without numbing00:09 – Why you shouldn’t have to dull yourself to go on a date00:10 – The importance of emotional safety and matching clients with aligned values00:12 – What to do when someone says they’re fine with sobriety—but turns out they’re not00:14 – Why women should be “selfish daters” and not worry about being the “good guy”00:16 – How to emotionally prepare for dating after long-term relationships00:18 – Pre- and post-date journaling as a mindfulness tool00:20 – The myth of “no expectations” and why love should be conditional00:22 – Relationship contracts and writing down what really matters00:24 – How childhood messages shape what we believe about marriage00:27 – Helping clients unpack their unrealistic dating checklists00:30 – The problem with assuming no one’s “good enough”00:33 – Chemistry vs. compatibility—and why the spark might not mean what you think00:35 – How unresolved trauma influences what feels familiar in dating00:38 – Oversharing on first dates: why less is sometimes more00:41 – Confidence rituals before dates and the power of listening00:43 – What qualities Daphney looks for when matching clients00:47 – Dating apps: their impact on mental health and connection00:51 – Tips for transitioning from online to in-person dating00:54 – Red flags to watch for, including love bombing and mirroring00:57 – Why peaceful love may feel boring—and why it’s often the real dealGuest Links🌐 Daphney’s Website: fernconnections.com📸 Daphney’s Instagram: @fernconnectionsSisters In Sobriety Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    59 分
  • The Missing Link Between Clarity, Energy, and Sobriety With Christie Dames

    The Missing Link Between Clarity, Energy, and Sobriety With Christie Dames
    2025/06/02
    What if your sugar cravings, chronic fatigue, or lack of clarity weren’t just random symptoms—but signs of deeper imbalances that could be blocking your recovery? On this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by strategist, speaker, and sober advocate Christie Dames. With over 38 years of sobriety and a career helping high-performers unlock their potential, Christie shares how her lived experience and research intersect to shed light on the brain-body connection.Today, they talk about why what you eat—and what surrounds you—matters deeply when it comes to emotional clarity, energy, and healing. How does what we eat impact our emotional sobriety? What’s the role of metabolic health in our ability to regulate mood and access clarity? And how do toxins—whether in food, electronics, or water—quietly sabotage our healing efforts?Listeners will learn about the connection between mitochondrial health and long-term sobriety, how refined sugars and processed foods derail emotional regulation, and the invisible toll environmental toxins like PFAS and EMFs take on our well-being. Christie also shares practical tools for lowering your toxic load—think organic swaps, safer tech habits, and why red light bulbs might become your new best friend.And yes, as always, we go there—into the personal stories. Christie opens up about her own path to sobriety, including her recovery from misdiagnosis, withdrawal from neuroleptic medication, and the chronic pain that shaped her understanding of emotional vs. physical hunger. From healing trauma to navigating relapse triggers, she helps us see our cravings not as flaws but as clues.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.Episode Highlights:00:01:00 — Christie introduces the idea that sugar cravings can block emotional sobriety00:02:30 — The physical trauma that set the stage for addiction00:03:45 — Why alcohol felt like an elixir for Christie’s fractured sense of self00:04:55 — Mold exposure and neurological misdiagnosis compound her health issues00:06:45 — The impact of neuroleptic drugs and a 10-year brownout00:07:50 — Getting sober—despite still being medicated00:08:30 — Sugar as her first addiction, and how it worked on her undernourished brain00:10:15 — Giving up sugar: was it harder than alcohol?00:12:45 — Why metabolic health is the key to “next-level” sobriety00:14:20 — Understanding insulin resistance and fasting insulin00:16:00 — What to eat: whole foods, organic, and the truth about strawberries00:18:45 — Toxins in baby cord blood and how they impact future health00:21:15 — Dairy and gluten: are they just food, or emotional disrupters?00:23:00 — Why A2 dairy and goat’s milk might be different00:25:30 — How trauma and toxicity contribute to neuroinflammation00:27:10 — The four-day delayed reaction to food and what to watch for00:29:00 — Emotional vs. physical hunger: how to tell the difference00:32:50 — Learning to pause before reacting or reaching for food00:35:00 — How shame spirals can begin with food choices00:37:20 — Working with high performers: unlocking their hidden blocks00:40:00 — Using intuition, presence, and somatic tools with clients00:42:00 — PFAS: the “forever chemicals” and why they’re a major health threat00:44:30 — EMFs and why cell phones and WiFi matter more than you think00:46:00 — Sobriety makes you more sensitive—embrace it00:48:10 — Creating a low-tox lifestyle that supports brain health and longevity00:50:00 — Hacks: red lights, blue blockers, and neuro-restorative sleep habits00:51:30 — Christie’s favorite ways to lower your toxic burden00:52:00 — Where to connect with Christie (christiedames@protonmail.com)Links 📧 Christie’s EmailSisters In Sobriety Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    53 分
  • The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Kaitlin Henry

    The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Kaitlin Henry
    2025/05/28

    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we’re back with another installment of our no-filter mini-series where past guests answer 10 revealing questions about what it’s really like to date without alcohol in the picture.

    This time, Sonia chats with Kaitlin Henry, wellness advocate and host of the Step Zero podcast. Kaitlin busts the myth that you have to hit rock bottom before you can change—and now, she’s opening up about love after divorce, how getting sober changed her approach to relationships, and why acts of service are her love language.

    From awkward first sober dates to realizing that two-drink limits are non-negotiable, Kaitlin shares the red and green flags she looks for, the playlist track that sums up her love life, and her favorite sober date idea (hint: it involves a boat and no wine list).

    Get ready for some serious honesty, relatable stories, and a few laugh-out-loud moments. Whether you're newly sober, sober curious, or just navigating dating without defaulting to “grabbing drinks,” this one's for you.


    Kaitlin's Links

    Get In Touch With Kaitlin

    Her go-to song by Gracie Abrams

    Sisters In Sobriety Links

    💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

    📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

    📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

    🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

    📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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    18 分
  • Helping Without Hurting: Family Recovery That Works

    Helping Without Hurting: Family Recovery That Works
    2025/05/26
    This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are taking on one of the trickiest parts of recovery: what happens at home. Their guest, Amber Hollingsworth, is a licensed professional counselor, family recovery expert, and the brain behind the YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down. With over 20 years of experience, she helps families deal with the chaos of addiction—without burning themselves out in the process.If you’ve ever tried to help a loved one and ended up feeling like the bad guy (or totally powerless), this conversation is going to hit close to home. Amber explains why the old-school intervention model often backfires, how shame and blame keep people stuck, and why the people closest to someone struggling with addiction often have more influence than they think.There’s a better way—and Amber walks us through it. From her “Invisible Intervention” method to a strength-based approach that helps people reconnect with their values, she shares real tools that actually work. You'll hear how she encourages people to stop focusing on what’s going wrong and start noticing what’s still right—and how families can become part of the solution without getting dragged down by the drama.Sonia and Kathleen also open up about their own experiences trying (and failing) to stage an intervention, what they’d do differently now, and why it's so hard to step out of the “rescuer” role when someone you love is hurting. It’s raw, it’s real, and honestly—it’s the kind of conversation that makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about helping someone get better.This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped):00:01:00 – How Amber got into addiction counseling (hint: not the usual story)00:02:30 – Growing up surrounded by addiction, and not realizing it until much later00:04:45 – Why she started Put the Shovel Down and how it became a mission00:05:55 – Why families often have more power than they think00:06:40 – Creating a team approach: everyone gets their own support00:08:20 – Why one-sided therapy can sometimes make things worse00:10:30 – Everyone has their version of the story—and why that matters00:12:00 – The most common way families accidentally slow down recovery00:13:30 – When traditional interventions help—and when they totally miss the mark00:15:00 – The bargaining stage (and why no one gets to skip it)00:17:00 – Words that trigger defensiveness—and what to say instead00:19:00 – What went wrong in Sonia and Kathleen’s attempt to help a family member00:21:30 – The Invisible Intervention method explained step by step00:23:00 – Building credit and influence with your loved one00:25:00 – Natural consequences vs. punishment: why the difference matters00:27:30 – What really helps someone see the problem for themselves00:30:00 – Strength-based coaching: how Amber helps people reconnect with who they are00:32:45 – Why it’s not about calling people out—it’s about calling them back to themselves00:34:20 – Common values people rediscover when they stop drinking00:36:30 – How to acknowledge addiction without crushing someone with shame00:38:10 – Why so many middle-aged women defend their nightly wine00:41:00 – How alcohol becomes the stand-in for self-care00:42:00 – What to say to someone who doesn’t “seem” like they have a problem00:43:30 – Why trying moderation might actually help you quit00:45:00 – Navigating early sobriety when everyone around you is still drinking00:46:00 – Final takeaway: You’re not powerless—and you don’t have to lose yourself trying to help someone elseAmber's LinksYouTubeInstagramSisters In Sobriety Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📲 Kathleen’s InstagramOur Sponsors:* Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SIS2025 for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    48 分
  • The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Whitney Combs

    The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love with Whitney Combs
    2025/05/21

    In this special mini-episode of our spicy new series: The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love, we have Whitney Combs. A nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, wife, and mom of three. Whitney opens up about rediscovering intimacy without alcohol, why honesty became her ultimate non-negotiable, and how she chooses restaurants based solely on dessert and mocktails (relatable). Oh—and she’s got a concert horror story you won’t forget.

    If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate sober sex, sober dating apps, or what to say when someone asks, “Why don’t you drink?”—this episode is for you.

    Whitney’s Links

    • 🌐 Whitney’s Website

    • 📲 Whitney on Instagram

    • 🎵 “If We Were Vampires” – Jason Isbell

    Sisters in Sobriety Links

    💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

    📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

    📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

    🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

    📲 Kathleen’s Instagram



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    16 分
  • When Family Hurts: The Truth About Estrangement With Dr. Sharon

    When Family Hurts: The Truth About Estrangement With Dr. Sharon
    2025/05/19
    Navigating family dynamics can be one of the hardest parts of recovery—especially when the relationships we’re told are “unbreakable” feel anything but safe. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Dr. Sharon Martin, psychotherapist and author of Cutting Ties with Your Parents and The Better Boundaries Workbook. With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Martin helps us unpack what it really means to set boundaries with family, the complexities of estrangement, and how these issues often resurface in sobriety.Together, we explore some big questions: How do you know when it’s time to go no-contact with a parent or family member? What’s the difference between estrangement and avoidance? How do you deal with the guilt, grief, and judgment that come up when you make that choice? And how do old family wounds start to resurface once we get sober? From emotional manipulation to the pressure to reconcile, we talk through the many layers that come with stepping away from dysfunction.Dr. Martin offers practical tools and insights for healing—whether you’ve already gone no-contact or are just beginning to question what’s healthy for you. We talk about building self-trust through small, everyday actions, reparenting yourself when you never got what you needed growing up, and what it looks like to maintain sobriety while navigating painful family dynamics. You'll also learn why grief can show up even when you never had the kind of relationship you're mourning.This episode is also deeply personal. Sonia opens up about grieving the mother-daughter connection she never experienced, and Kathleen shares what it feels like to question whether estrangement is truly healing or just a form of self-protection. It’s a thoughtful, honest, and empowering conversation—especially for anyone trying to make peace with their past while protecting their present.20 TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS[00:01:00] Meet Dr. Sharon Martin and how she found this work[00:03:00] Growing up with alcoholism and how it shaped her path[00:05:00] Why trauma always finds its way into therapy[00:06:30] When a family relationship stops feeling emotionally safe[00:08:45] Estrangement isn’t a rash decision—it’s the last resort[00:10:30] Facing guilt, judgment, and societal pressure[00:12:00] Why other people’s opinions don’t always reflect reality[00:14:30] How emotional manipulation becomes normalized[00:17:30] What healthy estrangement can actually look like[00:20:00] When reconciliation is worth considering—and when it’s not[00:22:00] Why false hope and outside pressure often backfire[00:23:30] Navigating milestone events like weddings and funerals[00:25:30] Estrangement vs. avoidance—how to tell the difference[00:29:00] Grieving the family fantasy you never had[00:31:00] Why complicated grief around family is valid[00:34:00] The importance of processing feelings through movement and expression[00:35:30] Keeping your sobriety solid while navigating emotional landmines[00:37:00] Emotional wounds adult children of dysfunction carry[00:40:00] Rebuilding self-worth through small, doable commitments[00:44:00] Why early sobriety can bring childhood trauma to the surfaceThis is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Head to our Substack for extra tools, reflections, and mocktail recipes to support your journey.Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse products mentioned📸 Kathleen’s InstagramConnect with Dr. Sharon Martin📘 Cutting Ties with Your Parents – Amazon📘 The Better Boundaries Guided Journal – Amazon🌐 LiveWellWithSharonMartin.com📸 Instagram📘 Facebook📺 YouTubeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    50 分
  • Are You Co-Dependent? A 10 Question Quiz

    Are You Co-Dependent? A 10 Question Quiz
    2025/05/14

    In this special mini-episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen invite you to slow down for a few minutes and take an honest look at how codependency may be showing up in your life. This isn’t a diagnosis or a formal assessment—just a chance to reflect with a simple, 10-question quiz that’s designed to spark insight and self-awareness.

    ☁️ In this candid conversation, we ask:

    • Do you often feel responsible for others’ emotions?
    • Are you suppressing your needs to avoid conflict?
    • Is it easier to give care than receive it?


    💬 After the quiz, Sonia and Kathleen open up about how codependency has impacted their own relationships—from family dynamics to marriage—and how awareness has helped them move toward healthier boundaries and interdependence.

    🎓 You’ll learn:

    • What codependent patterns can look like in everyday life
    • Why "fixing" others often leads to self-neglect
    • How childhood dynamics can shape adult relationships
    • Tools for recognizing when you're stepping into over-functioning mode


    👀 If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, ignoring your own needs, or feeling responsible for someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you.

    📝 Want to revisit the quiz later or share it with a friend? It’s available on our Substack—along with tons of supportive content, reflections, and resources to help you change your relationship with alcohol and deepen your self-awareness.

    If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships—always giving, fixing, or putting others first, Kathleen has created The Path Back to You is a free guide with a self-reflection quiz, five simple practices, and journaling prompts to help you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your boundaries.✨

    Links

    Links

    💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

    📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

    📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

    🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

    📸 Kathleen’s Instagram



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    12 分
  • Let’s Talk Codependency: And What to Do About It

    Let’s Talk Codependency: And What to Do About It
    2025/05/12
    Today on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving into a topic that often comes up after we quit drinking: codependency. With Kathleen’s clinical expertise as a couples therapist and Sonia’s real-life experiences, they’re unpacking what codependency really means—and how to spot it in yourself.What exactly is codependency—and how is it different from being loving, loyal, or just... a decent human? Is it mutual? Does it show up only in romantic relationships? Can you be codependent with your dog? In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore these questions and more, including the red flags, psychological roots, and surprising ways codependency might still be running the show in your sober life.Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of the difference between support and self-sacrifice, healthy interdependence versus emotional enmeshment, and how sobriety can reveal codependent tendencies that were previously hidden behind a wine glass. The episode also explores hyper-independence as the flip side of codependency—and why swinging between extremes isn’t the goal either.As always, the episode gets personal. Sonia opens up about how she once believed caretaking was the hallmark of a good marriage, how she walked on eggshells to avoid the "Kraken" (her ex’s moods), and what changed after getting sober. Kathleen shares insights from her own marriage, her childhood patterns, and how even therapists have to work on their stuff. It’s honest, raw, and full of lightbulb moments.If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships—always giving, fixing, or putting others first, Kathleen has created The Path Back to You is a free guide with a self-reflection quiz, five simple practices, and journaling prompts to help you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your boundaries.✨ This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.Time-stamped Highlights[00:01:00] Sonia introduces the episode and shares a recent therapy revelation. [00:02:30] Kathleen defines codependency in practical terms. [00:04:00] Why codependency isn’t just about romantic relationships. [00:06:10] The difference between caring and being codependent. [00:07:30] Sonia shares a story about her ex’s “Kraken” moods. [00:09:00] Emotional reliance and attachment patterns. [00:10:30] Codependent parenting and walking on eggshells. [00:11:30] Red flags for identifying codependency. [00:13:30] Examples of codependency outside of romance. [00:15:00] How codependency forms in childhood. [00:21:00] Why sobriety often reveals codependent patterns. [00:23:00] What happens to relationships after sobriety and boundary-setting. [00:24:00] Healthy interdependence vs. hyper-independence. [00:26:00] Are women more likely to struggle with codependency? [00:27:30] First steps for healing and reclaiming your identity. [00:28:30] Book recs: Codependent No More and Facing Codependence. [00:29:30] Reconnecting with your needs—starting with Friday night plans. [00:30:30] What changes when you stop playing the people-pleasing role. [00:32:00] Guilt, grief, and growing into a new version of yourself. [00:34:00] Do you need to explain your boundaries to others? [00:35:00] How to handle guilt when you stop overfunctioning. [00:36:00] Final thoughts and encouragement to keep doing the work.Links💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast📸 Kathleen’s InstagramSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    37 分