When there is conflict in the couples relationship, sex and intimacy becomes the first casualty which fly out the window. It is very difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to physically touch the person with whom you are in conflict.

Yet, touch is exactly what you need to do to begin to break down the walls set in place by conflict. Touch is then so very, very impossible to do.

The antidote is to learn to do physical (non-sexual) touch with the person with whom you are in conflict, in order to begin to break down the walls of hostility. But it is hard. "Boy is it hard". But a prize awaits you.

Try it. Throw caution to the wind and dive in - with physical (non-sexual) touch. Overcome yourself. Overcome pride. Get you and your ego out of the way. Just do it.

Don't talk. Just touch. Just embrace - if you dare. The other person may not welcome your endeavours - initially. (Be warned).

Expect the bucking horse. "Get off me. What are you doing. Leave me alone". Its going to happen! Hold on in there for dear life and eventually the bucking horse will reduce. Will calm. Don't talk.

Expect the intimidation - which goes with our current culture - "You need to respect my space". There is a prize if you can stay in there. It's worth it.

Even as I write these words, I am intimidated because the naysayers in our current culture will be getting ready to chastise me with their disagreement. (The insistence that we must respect another's space and not intrude). That is powerful intimidation.

Psychosexual Therapy (I just call it Sex Therapy) with The Kairos Centre, is not about sex. The first thing that we do is to ban sexual intercourse. Then teach how to rebuild intimacy, sensuality and romance at a higher level.

Done well, it paves the way for the couple to naturally want to consummate the rebuilt relationship, by progressing to a sexual expression. At that point, I am getting ready to come out of their lives and leave them with the next 80 years to practice this thing called sex!

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication in Relationships,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution in Relationships,Relationship Conflict Management,Couples Conflict,Navigating Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust During Conflict,Effective Communication Strategies,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual,Psychosexual help,Healthy Relationships,Empowerment Self-Discovery,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Performance Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy,Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Sex Addiction Recovery,Domestic Violence,Family Conflict,

Over 90% of couples that The Kairos Centre counsel, are in conflict because Core Emotional Needs are not being met. Some of those Core Emotional Needs are such things as lack of Security, Respect, Comfort, Affection, Respect.

They are not negotiable human needs. They want to be met and we will fight/flight/freeze to get them met. We do an interesting exercise with Couples and Singles to identify their Core Emotional Needs.

Commit to a Couples Recovery Programme like The Kairos Centre Video-On-Demand Relationship Program which you can cover at your leisure from the comfort of your own home, at your pace. You receive a workbook and can book Homework Review sessions as and when you desire, so that you have a sense of someone being alongside you on your journey.

Let's move as much of the stuff from the unconscious; from the unseen; from the invisible; from the unknown; into the conscious; the seen; the visible; the known.

Now that you can better see and understand the issues, you now get a chance to begin working through the issues - with some help. Get off the hamster wheel of habits, template behaviours, entrenched neutral pathways.

Change your trajectory. Change begins because you can now see the problem. It can never be the same again. You are now on the change continuum, even if only at step one = Insight; step two = understanding.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication in Relationships,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution in Relationships,Relationship Conflict Management,Couples Conflict,Navigating Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust During Conflict,Effective Communication Strategies,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual,Psychosexual help,Healthy Relationships,Empowerment Self-Discovery,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Performance Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy,Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Sex Addiction Recovery,Domestic Violence,Family Conflict,

Here is a summary of some of the topics covered in the programme: “An Eclectic mix” of counselling and psychotherapy models. Those models include psychodynamic, Systemic, CBT, EMDR, EFT, Gottman, how the past has its tentacles in our present and is affecting our future; moving as much issues from the unseen (the unconscious); bring about change – over time. Not quickly, but by small incremental steps, not big leaps; neural pathways; Childhood development; The brain does not like pain; Childhood development can throw up a lot of clues if you go looking; Connecting with the unfinished business of childhood - which holds the keys to the adult behaviours - means finding and re-nurturing the child in you; recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction; equipped to become the author of your new destiny. Your future; Get knowledge. Get understanding. Then reclaim your life and on the way, recover from sex, porn/Love Addiction; Individual work; Shame, Anger, Attachment, Addictions, Trauma (Trauma is the internal wound), Grief/loss, Narcissism, Depression.

Now that you can better see and understand the issues, you now get a chance to begin working through the issues - with some help. Get off the hamster wheel of habits, template behaviours, entrenched neutral pathways.

Change your trajectory. Change begins because you can now see the problem. It can never be the same again. You are now on the change continuum, even if only at step one = Insight; step two = understanding.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Key words: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication in Relationships,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution in Relationships,Relationship Conflict Management,Couples Conflict,Navigating Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust During Conflict,Effective Communication Strategies,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual,Psychosexual help,Healthy Relationships,Empowerment Self-Discovery,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Performance Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy

Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Sex Addiction Recovery,Domestic Violence,Family Conflict,