🎁 Only a few days left to claim your "Pay-What-You-Can" Coaching Session with me.

This episode talks about the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why one might be secretly sabotaging your relationship growth.

Shanenn shares:

• How guilt is like your relationship GPS - letting you know when you've made a wrong turn, while shame is more like a brick wall blocking all possible routes 🚧

• Why treating yourself like your own mean girl isn't helping (and what Brené Brown has to say about it) 💭


Don't Miss Moments:

• "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change" - breaking down Brené Brown's powerful insight

• "We're not going to take the steps to become self-aware if we believe we're fundamentally flawed" - on why shame keeps us stuck

Action Items from the Episode:

• Notice the difference between "I did something bad" vs. "I am bad"

• Practice self-compassion by asking "What would I say to a friend?"

• Start shortening your recovery time after jealous reactions

• Break free from shame cycles with practical tools

• Save your spot in the January "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp"

⚡️ Special Holiday Offer: Book your pay-what-you-can coaching session (min. $25) through December 31st at www.topself.com - Limited spots remaining!

00:00 Understanding Jealousy and Negative Emotions
00:18 Holiday Season Special: 12 Hours of Giving
01:58 Exciting Announcements for 2025
02:41 Introduction to Guilt and Shame
03:46 The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
04:33 The Impact of Guilt and Shame on Jealousy
10:44 Strategies to Manage Guilt and Shame
12:02 Upcoming Bootcamp and Final Thoughts

🎄 🎁 Now - Dec. 31st ONLY: Pay-What-You-Can Coaching Sessions - Claim yours today before there all gone!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Behind Your Jealous Bootcamp registration is now open. The Bootcamp starts February 5th.



Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition...

Do you enjoy how you're currently spending your time? Do you feel like you use your time wisely? When I am insecure and jealous, I don't!

When you're feeling jealous, most likely you are spending your very precious time thinking about your partner rather than spending it on things that bring you joy, not a stomach ache.

In this episode, Shanenn and Dr. Adam Dorsay talk about the concept of connection in our modern world. Despite being more technologically connected than ever, many people struggle with loneliness and disconnection. Dr. Dorsay shares insights from his new book, Super Psyched about authentic connection and how to find it in various aspects of life.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The paradox of being technologically connected yet feeling disconnected
• The four dimensions of connection: self, others, world, and something greater
• How social media comparison affects our relationships and self-image
• Practical tips for maintaining long-distance friendships
• Creating novel experiences with your partner to strengthen connection
• The importance of investing time in activities that truly energize us

Notable Quotes: "We're more connected technologically than ever before... And yet, we are less connected than ever before." - Dr. Adam Dorsay

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Dorsay's Book Super Psyched
• Super Psyched Podcast
• Dr. Pat Love's "Hot Monogamy"

Connect with Dr. Adam Dorsay:

• Website: www.dradamdorsay.com
• TEDx Talks: "Friendship in Adulthood" and "Men and Emotions"

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever felt like you're starring in your own personal soap opera where every relationship ends with infidelity? Host Shanenn Bryant unpacks her own journey from "everyone cheats on me" to "huh, maybe I should check my math" in this eye-opening episode.

Key Takeaways:

• A shocking 50% of our memories aren't even accurate (Thanks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, for this incredibly eye-opening fact)
• Only 20-23% of men cheat in relationships (Sorry to ruin your trust issues with actual statistics)
• Married people cheat less than unmarried folks (Apparently, putting a ring on it does mean something to both men and women)
• The divorce rate isn't all about cheating (Turns out money problems are the real home-wrecker)

Shanenn shares a mind-blowing exercise that will make you question EVERYTHING you thought you knew about your dating history. Spoiler alert: her "everyone cheats on me" narrative turned out to be more like "25% of people cheated on me." Talk about a plot twist!

The Episode Breakdown:

✓ The relationship audit: A step-by-step guide to analyzing your dating history (grab your pen and tissues)

✓ The truth behind the numbers: Why your "everyone cheats" story might be as reliable as your ex's excuses

Crucial Reality Checks:

• Your partner's cheating probably has more to do with their issues than your worth
• Young relationships, unstable backgrounds, and core wounds all play a role in infidelity
• If your "yes" list is above 50%, you might not have a cheating problem – you might have a "picking partners" problem

Want to dive deeper? Shanenn mentions her "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp" coming up in January for those ready to break free from their trust issues and core wounds.

Contact: sbryant@topself.com to share your own percentage or insights from this exercise.

Remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your math is right. Time to crunch those numbers and maybe, just maybe, give trust a fighting chance.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever catch yourself saying "just so you know, I know what you COULD be doing" to your partner... even when you're pretty sure they're innocent? In this episode, Shanenn's calling you out when she gets into why we sometimes choose accusation over acceptance, even when our rational brain is screaming the obvious.

THE HEART OF IT

• The moment your logical brain offers the truth (and why we often ignore it)
• Why we feel the need to prove we're "not stupid" in relationships
• The protective pattern of "just so you know I know" statements
• How choosing trust over proof can completely change your relationship

Have you ever noticed that quiet moment before you launch into relationship detective mode? That split second where your mind offers up a perfectly reasonable explanation, yet something pushes you to prove you're not easily fooled? Shanenn breaks down this fascinating pattern and reveals why our need to appear "aware" might actually be working against us.

Through real-life examples, she shows us how these small moments of choice can shift our entire relationship dynamic. Learn why phrases like "just so you know, I know" might be hurting your relationship. Other topics covered in this episode are:

• The split second when your rational brain offers the logical explanation
• Why proving you're "aware" actually creates more anxiety
• The freedom in choosing not to voice every suspicion
• How tiny choices to trust can lead to massive relationship shifts

TRUTH BOMBS "Your life will be so much calmer, so much happier, and with less anxiety if you make the choice of saying, 'You know what, I'm going to go with this logical explanation.'"

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• [Coming Soon] "Triggered to Transformation" Course
• Email: sbryant@topself.com (Share your moments of choosing trust over suspicion!)

YOUR NEXT STEPS (Choose Your Own Adventure)

1. Notice when you're about to launch into "just so you know" mode
2. Pause when your brain offers the logical explanation
3. Try sitting with the peaceful explanation (just for 5 minutes!)
4. Share your experience with Shanenn at sbryant@topself.com

Did this episode hit home? Share it with someone who's ready to choose peace over proof.

Remember: Choosing not to say "just so you know" doesn't make you naive - it makes you brave.

00:00 Introduction to Top Self Podcast
00:49 A Teenage Adventure: Sneaking Out
04:41 The Consequen

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎙️ Where my freaks at? Control Freaks that is.

In this episode, we dive deep with psychologist and author Joanna Kleinman to unpack why that voice in your head is working harder than a barista during morning rush hour.

Shanenn and Joanna talk about:

• How your inner critic is just like the mean girl at school when you were growing up and she's been messing with you since you lost your first tooth 🛡️

• The Jerry Maguire "you complete me" line is such a bad representation of the way relationships should really work and your relationship expectations may be as older than that movie. Big red flag 🚩

• How social media has become the Olympic Games of impossible standards (and why we keep competing) 🏅

Don't Miss Moments:

"We're like starving dogs waiting for that bone of validation" - on why we stay in unhealthy relationships

"We're dishwashers - I'm a Whirlpool, you're a GE, but we all run the same programs" - on universal human patterns

Action Items from the Episode:

• Name your inner critic ... 😉
• Practice catching yourself in "control mode"
• Start asking "What evidence disproves this belief?" when your inner critic goes on a rant
• Start getting curious about your beliefs instead of judging them
• Practice being okay with the possibility of things not going "perfectly"

Follow Joanna on her podcast "Dethroning Your Inner Critic" where she dives deeper into the MIND Method and helps women stop being their own worst critics and start being their own best advocates.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:20 Understanding the Inner Critic
01:58 Origins of the Inner Critic
06:47 Cultural and Social Influences
09:33 Control and Perfectionism
11:35 Healthy Relationships and Self-Worth
21:32 Practical Steps to Dethrone the Inner Critic
29:20 Conclusion and Podcast Promotion

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn's guest, award-winning psychologist Dr. Courtney Warren opens up about her own struggles with relationship insecurity and shares her thoughts about the lies we tell ourselves.

From crying when her college boyfriend went out with friends to becoming an expert on self-deception, Dr. Warren's personal journey and professional wisdom offer hope for anyone wrestling with jealousy and relationship fears.

Key Moments:
- 2:00 - Why self-honesty is the key to living a fulfilling life
- 9:00 - Dr. Warren shares a vulnerable story about her college relationship
- 21:00 - The Three A's of Authenticity framework revealed
- 31:00 - Why your friends might not understand your jealousy (and that's okay)
- 37:00 - Small changes that lead to massive transformation

Golden Episode Nuggets:
💎 The most damaging lies are the ones we tell ourselves
💎 Jealousy often has nothing to do with your partner
💎 Your worth isn't determined by your relationship status
💎 Change happens in micro-steps, not overnight transformations
💎 Finding the right support system is crucial for healing

About Our Guest:
Dr. Courtney Warren is a board-certified clinical psychologist and author who specializes in addictions, self-deception, and eating pathology. Her TEDx talk "Honest Liars" has helped countless people understand the psychology behind self-deception and personal growth.

Resources Mentioned:
- Dr. Warren's TEDx Talk: "Honest Liars"
- Dr. Cortney Warren's Website and Books
- Support groups for relationship insecurity - Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Quote of the Episode:
"You are not defined by your romantic relationships... whether you are loved or liked or rejected or single or coupled actually has no bearing on your value as a person." - Dr. Courtney Warren

Perfect for listeners who:
- Struggle with jealousy in relationships
- Want to build healthier romantic partnerships
- Are ready to face their own self-deception
- Feel alone in their relationship insecurities
- Are working on building self-confidence

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Feel like your relationship is hanging on by a thread? Do you wonder if too much damage has been done to the relationship?

I was there too but you can turn things around. Your relationship can recover from this, but it's might take you going against how you normally feel after an argument to make a difference.

It may take you recovering quickly instead of letting the shame and guilt of your actions take over. Apologize to your partner, forgive yourself, and push yourself to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

In fact:

• Research shows couples who recover quickly from disputes have higher relationship satisfaction
• One partner's ability to recover quickly can positively impact the other partner
• Quick recovery helps prevent conflict spillover into other areas of the relationship

Here are some common things to avoid but there's so much more packed in this episode:

• Getting defensive when partner isn't ready to accept apologies
• Seeking excessive reassurance
• Engaging in catastrophic thinking

Shanenn also shares some recovery strategies like:

• Use "I" statements when explaining your perspective
• Focus on impact rather than intent
• Give partner space to process their emotions
• Return to normal daily routines
• Avoid forcing immediate reconciliation

## Resources Mentioned
- Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp
- Individual coaching options
- ForYourMarriage.com
- PsychologicalScience.com

Something to highlight from the episode:
"As bad as it gets, if you start making the changes, remember, you can make big changes with small steps."

---

## Social Media Posts

### Post 1
🔄 Recovery is key in relationships! Research shows couples who bounce back quickly from conflicts have higher satisfaction levels. It's not about never fighting - it's about how you recover and reconnect.

#RelationshipAdvice #CoupleGoals #HealthyRelationships #TopSelfPodcast

### Post 2
💭 Struggling with post-conflict guilt? Stop the catastrophic thinking! Your relationship isn't doomed because of one argument. Learn how to recover and rebuild stronger than ever. New episode out now!

#RelationshipTips #EmotionalHealth #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipGoals

### Post 3
🗝️ Quick Recovery Tip: Focus on impact, not intent. Take accountability for your actions without getting caught up in explanations. Sometimes the "why" conversation needs to wait.

#RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence #Sel

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎉 Special Announcement:
Join our FREE Two-Day Self-Discovery Workshop!
Dates: November 4th & 5th at 1:00 pm ET
Register at: topself.com/workshop

I'm talking about you on this week's episode. The REAL you. Often we think we have to transform into someone else to overcome jealousy and insecurity and that seems like a huge feat to become your future self you want to be.

However, you already ARE your future self. In fact, you are much closer than you think because its not about changing who you are, its about uncover the layers of pain, hurt, disappointment and programming that you've been layering on over the years, covering up that care-free, relaxed person you once where.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why jealousy isn't who you are – it's just a protective pattern
• Understanding the root causes of jealous behavior
• How your nervous system creates safety through control
• Why fighting jealousy doesn't work (and what to do instead)
• Accessing your future self's wisdom today

You weren't born jealousy and insecure, you were conditioned that way. These are just faulty, fear-driven habits—not core components of who you are. Your feelings are perfectly valid but the thoughts creating them may need to be examined and adjusted.

Lucky for you... I have a free workshop coming up and I will share a little bit about what we'll do in that workshop in todays episode. The link to join is in the show notes or go to Topself.com/workshop to register.

00:00 Welcome and Exciting Announcements

00:10 Embracing the Fall Season

00:59 Introduction to Identity and Future Self

02:37 Challenging Jealousy as an Identity

04:53 Understanding the Root of Jealousy

06:23 Real-Life Examples of Jealousy

11:00 The Role of Past Experiences

13:26 Triggers and Nervous System Responses

14:22 Different Relationship Dynamics

17:45 Understanding True Safety

18:25 Reprogramming Your Brain's Safety System

19:15 Embracing Your Future Self

20:24 Accessing Your Inner Confidence

21:30 Join the Self Discovery Workshop

23:21 The Layers Covering Your True Self

25:42 Final Thoughts and Workshop Details

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram


Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.