Joe is in a reflective mood with his mentor Bob Anderson, looking up at the scoreboard of past marriages and arguments and asking, "Is there even a scoreboard?"

In today's episode of Divorce and Conquer, current therapist Bob and former sports star Joe break down our understanding of ego. How much does our ego drive us – and at what cost? Why do we need to validate ourselves in our relationships, and what does that winning mentality do to our partner? 

This is a deep dive into what drives us – our ego or our self-esteem? When do we let our ego wander into the world of self-indulgence? There are life lessons aplenty in this insightful episode. Please join Joe and Bob and let's learn how to become better men, regardless of where we are in our marriage. 

"I define ego as what I can do. And self-esteem as more of who I am." - Bob Anderson

In This Episode:

- Why the ego is supposed to steer and navigate, not drive you into walls

- What is your need to be right versus your need to be respected?

- When does your need to be right diminish your partner?

- Why do we need to validate ourselves in our relationships?

- How sexy is self-esteem?

- Should star players get star treatment?

- When professional sportsmen let their competitive side get to them

- Who doesn't want emotional satisfaction?

- Marry the girl, marry the family

- Learning to unlearn what is no longer true

And so much more!

Resources:

• (The Book of Poetry Bob recommends) The Ego Is Always at the Wheel - The Ego Is Always at the Wheel: Bagatelles: Delmore Schwartz, Robert Phillips: 9780811210287

Connect with Joe Staszak:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Website

Facebook - Divorce & Conquer

If you’ve been through three divorces and you know full well your complicity in contributing to the sclerotic atmosphere of a doomed relationship right on through the divorce proceedings, how do you turn your life around and learn to become a more compassionate human being, devoid of all of the satanic toxicity that landed you in that dark, dark environment in the first place? This is Chip Farley’s story, as he tells it in this heart-to-heart episode of Divorce and Conquer with our host, Joe Staszak. 

Chip Farley is Joe’s spiritual guide and a man he credits as helping him turn his life around. He’s also Joe’s brother-in-law.  Chip’s humility shines through as he earnestly shares what he got wrong in his first few marriages (and divorces) — and how he has managed to redeem himself in a relatively short period of time as part of an ever-evolving process.

Faith and spirituality play a big role in Chip’s journey too, as he shares the power of becoming consistent by being accountable - And according to Chip this starts with reading the Bible every day. 

There’s a lot we can learn from Farley — and Staszak is experienced enough to be able to draw his unparalleled wisdom out of him, with both of them displaying great humility about their process stories of understanding the human condition as it relates to positive and productive interaction with other members of the same species.

“The only thing we can control is our reaction to what happens.” ~ Chip Farley

In This Episode:

- How to demonstrate power in a relationship with a woman

- What it means to be a jerk in a divorce

- Learning how to change yourself

- Having someone else’s back — the foxhole mentality

- Chip’s pull towards God 

- How to look at your divorce from a new perspective

- If your blood pressure is elevated, don’t respond

- The only thing we get to do is react to what happens

- What is ‘permissible free will’? 

- Learning to become consistent by being accountable

- The only baggage you can unpack is your own

And so much more!

Connect with Chip Farley:

Email: chipfarley@gmail.com

Connect with Joe Staszak:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Website

Joe is wearing his heart on his sleeve in this episode of Divorce and Conquer as he reflects on where this show has taken him and what he’s learned so far — and where he’s going to next. 

Joe credits his brother-in-law for teaching him the lesson of being ‘unoffendable’. Does ‘the pronoun thing’ offend you? Why? Learn to discipline your thoughts and let go of the crazy mediocrity in society that we can’t control — and gain more time and freedom in the process.

‘Unoffended people have more time!’ That’s Joe, giving it to us straight. He’s a guy’s guy in a crazy world, just trying to make sense of what is going on and showing us how we can sleep better, be more creative, and become more compassionate when we don’t sweat the small stuff. Let the Big Dawgg Hunt!

“If you think you’re a lost cause — and that goes back to the unredeemable part — you’re not. Everyone can be saved. I’m talking physically and spiritually. I’ll do the physical part and you’ll have to look upstairs for the spiritual part.” ~ Joe Staszak

In This Episode:

- Joe unpacks the movie ’Spirited’ as it relates to being unredeemable

- Joe speaks about answering his calling 

- Joe addresses ‘the pronoun thing’ 

- Joe’s beef with the Washington Redskins name

- What does it mean to be ‘unoffendable’?

- Why waste your time on Twitter? 

- Learning not to care about what people you don’t even know think

- Avoiding conversations that don’t lead to a resolution

- Why overlooking the small things is key

- Becoming more compassionate and practicing unconditional love

- Joe’s ex-wife finds out about this podcast!

And so much more!

Connect with Joe Staszak:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Website

Brett Datto: Celebrity Attorney for The Philadelphia Phillies. He’s chatting with Joe Staszak in today’s episode of Divorce and Conquer about how to find and get the most from your attorney while ensuring yourself the fairest possible day in court. 

It’s January, which means it’s “divorce season”.  If you’re headed into the dreaded “divorce portal”  you need to get your act together and prepare for what’s ahead.  Brett has amazing advice on how to get off to a strong start where your best interests are concerned. 

Learn about how to set a budget with your attorney, how to land the right judge, what to do if faced with false allegations of abuse, and so much more. Per his peers, Datto is a Super Attorney, and it’s clear to see why in this awesome and informative conversation with Staszak. Yeah, let the Big Dawgg hunt!!!

“Do some background information — your own due diligence — on the relationship between the lawyer and  the judge. And probably the easiest way to do that is to pull the judge’s campaign finance reports. It’s public information.” - Brett A. Datto

In This Episode:

- How can you ask a judge to recuse themselves?

- How do you get a level playing field in a court of law?

- Asking your attorney how much it’s going to cost

- How to calculate a budget for your legal bills

- What does it mean when your lawyer ‘nickel and dimes’ you?

- What is ‘Protection From Abuse’?

- Putting your ex’s feet under the fire when you’re faced with abuse allegations

- Brett’s outrageous story about a false abuse allegation

- How to protect yourself if you’re in the same space as someone accusing you

- Why does everyone lie in family court?

- What was it like representing Darren Daulton?

- Why did six former Phillies all get brain cancer? 

And so much more!

Resources:

Divorce for Dummies

Darren Daulton Foundation

Connect with Brett Datto:

Website

Connect with Joe Staszak:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Joe is in the hot seat this week, with renowned Pennsylvania psychotherapist Katie Young delicately turning the tables on Joe and the circumstances that led to his divorces. Joe describes himself as a ‘right fighter’ — he doesn’t pick a fight unless he’s heard. Katie asks him to reflect on whether he wants to be right, or whether he wants to be heard.

Being heard, and then being understood, is more important than being right as we navigate new ways to deflate our destructive ego using things like IMAGO dialogue, and some other techniques offered by the brilliant Katie Young on this episode of Divorce and Conquer.

The soft side of Joe Staszak is something all men can relate to as we learn to be present and keep our emotions in check so that we can keep our marriage on track. Let the big dog hunt, sure. But maybe there’s a catch-and-release at play here if we’re in it for the long run and are looking to preserve our marriage while acting with integrity? 

So put that ego aside and avoid that collateral damage with this lighthearted yet well-meaning episode of Divorce and Conquer as we save you the time and trouble of therapy with lessons you can start applying to your relationship today!

“I can’t remember a time when I laid into someone and then the next day felt good about it.” - Joe Staszak

In This Episode:

- When have you reflected on losing your cool with someone and not regretted it? 

- Joe doesn’t fight.. unless he’s right

- What would you do differently if you could start your marriage over?

- How disarming something is validation

- Understanding IMAGO dialogue. 

- Why simpler is better

- Is it a gender thing? 

- ABD… Always Be Dating

- Is it my job to make you happy? 

- Your chances of staying married increase if you wait till you’re 28.

Connect with Katie Young:

- Psychology Today

- Website

Connect with Joe Staszak:

- Twitter

- LinkedIn

Is there a greater pressure than dealing with divorce during the holiday period? Sure, it’s a first world problem, but as Bob Anderson so rightly points out, it’s still very real and very painful for many Americans at this time.

Bob Anderson is a former College Hockey player, current Conestoga high school coach and Staszak’s former hockey coach. He is in the Conestoga Hockey Hall of Fame. He’s also Joe’s mentor and life coach, who “spews nothing but wisdom”. So very true. 

Over the past 40 years Bob Anderson has been studying the human condition and it’s relation to the individual soul and how those two forces impact and inform our lives.  “Gratitude is an attitude” as Staszak puts it, asking Bob to elucidate on how gratitude is its own reward and how learning to be grateful means accepting who you are. 

In this episode Staszak extracts so many gifts of insight from Anderson that deserve to be wrapped up and put under the Christmas tree. But they’re right here for you now to listen to and share in as we continue to bask in the glow of the holiday spirit, regardless of our current marital condition or status. 

“Gratitude is about appreciating what you might take for granted, the things you already have. People don’t really talk about the gratitude of memory. Because memory takes perspective.” - Bob Anderson

In This Episode:

- We are not the sum of our differences

- Divorce is a game of score keeping and no one wants to play

- Divorce will not resolve or cure the issues you brought with you into your marriage 

- One of the greatest gifts to give someone is memories

- With gratitude comes grace

- The greatest present is being present

- How do we not ‘check out’?

- Everything is being done to increase pleasure and reduce pain

- Having your child say, “My dad was always there”

- ‘Hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t work hard.”

And so much more!

Connect with Joe Staszak:

- Twitter

- LinkedIn

To thine own self be you. Joe Staszak is bringing in the big guns in this, his second episode, of Divorce and Conquer. He’s chatting to Bob Anderson is a former College Hockey player, current Conestoga high school coach and my former hockey coach. He is in the Conestoga Hockey Hall of Fame. He is a friend, and mentor about what it takes to have a successful marriage.

If you can’t bring an ‘I’ into the relationship there isn’t going to be a ‘we’, and Bob lays down quite clearly how we need to work on the ‘I’ so that we can bring that best version of ourselves to our relationship. 

This is old-school wisdom at its very best. Joe the Big Dawgg is lapping it up, and there’s advice on parenting and personal conduct that everyone can aspire to.

Please join us to learn how you can be driven by your own needs while not at the expense of what could have been achieved together. 

“You should feel better about yourself when you are being your true self, and taking your little amount of skills, and doing what you should be doing with them. And then share them with that special person you have an intimate relationship with — and then you’ll really feel good about yourself.” - Bob Anderson 

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In This Episode:

- Break the mold of acceptable levels of mediocrity

- Emerge stronger than ever from the divorce portal.

- Lessons from the movie ‘Thief’.

- Your soulmate is the person you want to strangle.

- Till death do us part is not a life or death situation.

- Why people feel betrayed in their marriage?

- How do we fix the cracks? 

- Being a slave to your own ego.

- Marriages do not break up on show.

- The responsibilities of parenting .

- Health, Safety, Manners, Education.

- Always Be Present!

And so much more!

Connect with Joe Staszak:

- Twitter

- LinkedIn

Are you at a crossroads and talking about going through the divorce portal? Divorce and Conquer is here to help you through whatever suffering you are going through in your marriage. 

Former sports broadcaster turned coach Joe Staszak is bringing all of his hard-earned experience to a show that will help you figure out your next smart move if your marriage is on the rocks.Joe combines an authentic blend of remorse and inspiration, sports metaphors and life hacks, as he lays out his plan to coach you through your divorce.

 ‘Play the tape to the end’ is the takeout theme from this episode as Joe asks us to write down the consequences of an action you might take and then visualize the consequences. 

It’s the holiday season, and it’s time to put down your weapons. Stick around with Joe and he’ll show you how resentment and anger have been replaced by patience and love in his life. It’s all here, on Divorce and Conquer. As Joe says, ‘Let the big dog hunt!’ 

“The number one rule here at Divorce and Conquer is: kids come first.” - Joe Staszak

In This Episode:

- How is your decision going to affect your children?

- It’s never too late to do the right thing

- How sports emulate life

- Put your weapons down during the holiday season

- What’s the best way to diffuse an argument with your wife?

- Think about the consequences of your actions

- Don’t be a ‘right fighter’

- Make a decision to know where you are going

- Choosing a coach over a therapist

- Finding a good marriage counselor

- Watch A Good Life!

And so much more!

Connect with Joe Staszak:

- Twitter

- LinkedIn