Sophia Blackwell

This isn't your philosophy professor's translation. This is Marcus Aurelius like you've never seen him before—unfiltered, unhinged, and absolutely roasted. Our translator strips away all the reverent nonsense to reveal what the Emperor was REALLY saying.

In Plotinus Shredded, we tear through his Neoplatonic fever dream. The One? A vague cosmic buzzword that explains nothing. Emanations? A divine PowerPoint presentation gone horribly wrong. The Nous?

Whether you're a philosophy enthusiast with a sense of humor or someone who's tired of being told your emotions are "irrational judgments," Stoic This delivers ancient wisdom with modern wit and just the right amount of mockery.

Meet history's original keyboard warrior—except with quills, imprisonment, and better one-liners.

Finally, a philosophy book that doesn't take itself as seriously as the theorists it eviscerates! Nothing Means Anything mercilessly skewers postmodernism's most pretentious thinkers with savage wit and zero academic mercy.

What the Hell tears into Ludwig Wittgenstein—history's most insufferable genius—with savage wit and zero academic pretension.

In this mercilessly funny takedown, Jean-Jacques Rousseau—history's most insufferable philosopher—gets the roasting he so richly deserves.

In Leibniz’s Monads: Because Particles with Feelings Totally Make Sense, Sophia Blackwell (author of Kant You Not) returns with another brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, actually-informative tour through one of philosophy’s weirdest, most ambitious systems.

John Locke: Enlightenment philosopher, father of liberalism, inventor of “natural rights,” and accidental spiritual patron of land developers, libertarians, and your uncle who won’t shut up about property taxes.

Why Did That Happen? Aristotle Has Four Answers and None of Them Are Helpful is your brutally sarcastic, surprisingly educational crash course in Aristotelian philosophy.

No Self, No God, No Clue: David Hume and the Joy of Destroying Everything is your ruthlessly sarcastic crash course in the philosophy of David Hume—history’s most cheerful intellectual arsonist.

What if your political identity, your core beliefs, and even your taste in snack food weren’t really yours? What if they were built out of language, hijacked by desire, and quietly manipulated by slogans, myths, and a Symbolic Order you didn’t ask to be born into?

I Think, Therefore I’m Wrong: Descartes and the Birth of Overconfidence is your gloriously sarcastic, brutally honest, and deeply unhinged guide to the man who launched modern philosophy with one anxious thought spiral and never looked back.

Ever wanted to read 3,000 pages of systematic theology written by a man who thought angel transportation was a valid academic subject? No? Great—this audiobook is for you.

The Sickness Unto Death, and Other Fun Danish Party Games: Kierkegaard Without the Prozac is your gloriously sarcastic, brutally insightful, and occasionally soul-crushing guide to philosophy’s original sadboy, Søren Kierkegaard.

This audiobook is your guide to learning philosophy without crying, sounding smart without being a menace to society, and asking big questions without falling into a spiral of despair (unless you're into that, in which case, proceed).

Thus Spoke My Therapist: Nietzsche Without the Mental Breakdown is your one-way ticket to understanding one of history’s most misunderstood philosophers—without needing a doctorate or a prescription for existential dread.

God or Nature, Whatever is what happens when a philosophy grad student decides to explain Baruch Spinoza—the 17th-century lens grinder who got canceled by every major religion—using sarcasm, swearing, and a deeply unhealthy relationship with Euclidean geometry.

Ever tried reading Kant and felt your brain melt into a puddle of transcendental confusion? You're not alone! "Kant You Not" is the hilarious antidote to philosophical pretension that explains Immanuel Kant's revolutionary ideas without inducing narcolepsy.

Ever found yourself staring into the void and wished it would at least tell a good joke? Wonder how a chain-smoking French philosopher with unflattering glasses became an intellectual sex symbol? Want to understand existentialism without developing an addiction to black turtlenecks and cigarettes?