hey homegirlssss. i have been AWOL but God is faithful.

in today’s episode, i wanted to talk about the chrsitians who are overwhelmed, tired, maybe sometimes inconsistent with the word and feeling guilty.

... basically, all of us at some point.

i’ve been in a season where everything has felt CRAZY (hence the absence): wedding planning, work, travelling… and somewhere in the middle of all of that, my time with God started to look different.

i used to feel like i needed to "get back" to how i used to be with God - hours in the Word, long study sessions, structured prayer. but lately, God’s just been whispering, “start somewhere.”

in this episode we talk about:
✨ the guilt we carry when our quiet time doesn’t look the same
✨ how God meets us in the busyness
✨ how starting small is still starting

scriptures mentioned:
psalm 51:17 — “my sacrifice, o God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”
psalm 139:8 — “if i make my bed in sheol, you are there.”
matthew 11:28 — “come to me, all who are weary…”
psalm 1 — meditate on His Word day and night
1 thessalonians 5:17 — pray without ceasing

⏱ chapters:
00:00 – life update: london, wedding planning & being tired
01:50 – guilt from not “doing enough” for God
03:15 – remembering early days of faith
05:10 – God wants you, not performance
06:40 – reverence & friendship with Jesus
08:30 – psalm 51: a broken heart, not a perfect plan
10:00 – back to basics: verse of the day & devotionals
12:20 – spontaneous prayers & friendship with God
14:50 – why a 5-minute convo with God is still holy
16:10 – comparing God-time to fiancé-time
17:30 – faith in the small beginnings
18:40 – returning to the foundation: Jesus
19:30 – don't underestimate the "simple" truths

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i just got engaged… so why am i talking about our breakup?

in this episode, i sit down with my fiancé to share the full story of how we went on a break for 9 months, why we chose to step away, and how God completely restored our relationship in a way only He could.

i have received COUNTLESS of messages and comments about this, with people going through similar and unsure of what the future holds. so we pray this helps anyone going through confusion, heartbreak, waiting, or wondering if restoration is even possible.

what we talk about:

✨ the reality of going on a break while still loving each other
✨ how spiritual immaturity
✨ why it was the best decision for both of us
✨ what it looked like to pray for each other even while apart
✨ awkwardness of reconnection
✨ how we knew it was time to get back together

and whilst i am so blessed for our love story, this isn't about us but about God’s grace, timing, and leadership over our lives.

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the homegirls know i have been rambling on about getting engaged but this episode is one you guys have been WAITING FOR.

nas is back on the podcast, and we’re breaking down everything - from how he planned the proposal to how i almost ruined the surprise.

nas goes into the details of how he knew it was time, the conversations leading up to the engagement, and how we navigated emotional and spiritual preparation for marriage.

what we talk about:

• how nas planned the proposal and almost got caught
• how he asked my parents for their blessing
• what i wanted for the engagement vs. what actually happened
• the importance of preparing emotionally, spiritually, and financially for marriage
• when is the right time to propose?
• boundaries in dating, engagement, and how they shift as we approach marriage
• lessons we’ve learned about godly relationships

we pray this blesses you and we will be following up with a part 2 where we talk about our break in 2023-2024.

00:00 - our first podcast as an engaged couple
02:00 - how nas planned the proposal
08:30 - asking my parents for their blessing
13:45 - finding the perfect ring
18:10 - the actual day of the proposal
24:30 - the big moment: what nas said when he proposed
29:00 - how we spiritually and emotionally prepared for engagement
34:15 - when is the right time to propose?
38:20 - setting boundaries in dating and engagement
45:00 - advice for anyone waiting on their godly spouse

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this might be a hard pill to swallow but THE GOSPEL IS NOT ABOUT YOU. we hear the word gospel all the time. we know that Jesus died for us, we know that we are saved through Him. but do we really know the gospel?

in this episode, i reflect on my five-year journey as a christian and how the most transformational thing i’ve learned is that the gospel is not about me. i spent so much time striving to be perfect, thinking i had to earn my place with God, but that completely misses the point of what Jesus has done.

understanding the gospel means understanding grace. it means no longer striving to be good enough but learning to rest in the freedom that Christ has already given us.

what i talk about:

✨ how striving for perfection almost made me miss the gospel
✨ the difference between the old and new covenant
✨ what Jesus means for our lives
✨ who the Holy Spirit is and why He transforms everything
✨ why so many christians believe in grace but still live as if they have to earn it

scriptures i mention:

ephesians 2:8-9
"for by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

john 14:6
"Jesus said to him, ‘i am the way, and the truth, and the life. no one comes to the Father except through me."

2 corinthians 5:17
"therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. the old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

john 16:13
"when the spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth."

galatians 5:22-23
"but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."

romans 8:1
"there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

hebrews 8:6
"but as it is, Christ has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant He mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises."


reflection questions:

1. am i living in the fullness of what Jesus has done for me, or am i holding myself back out of shame or the desire to be perfect?

2. do i see the Holy Spirit as my guide, or am i still trying to do everything in my own strength?

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i just got engaged, so this may seem like a strange topic to be talking about - but i can promise you it's needed.

i've been through a crazy journey of seeking validation through relationships and then experiencing the knowledge that only God can truly fulfill me.

i know so many women are stuck in this cycle of idolatry, so i wanted to delve into this topic more as well as share some of my story <3

what i talk about:

✨ seeking validation from men

✨ how heartbreak can lead to revelation

✨ the dangers of idolising marriage

✨ the true purpose of marriage:

scriptures i mention:

• john 4:13-14
• psalm 73:25-26
• exodus 32
• isaiah 55:8-9

resource mentioned:

• "kissed the girls and made them cry" by lisa bevere

reflection questions:

1. do i desire marriage more than i desire a relationship with God?
2. if i never get married, would my faith remain strong?
3. is my relationship with God strong enough that i can truly surrender my desire for marriage to Him?

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this homegirl is a FIANCÉE 🥹💍 this is one of the most surreal moments of my life, and i couldn’t wait to share it with you all.

if you’ve been on this journey with me - from my teenage years, to coming to Christ, to the ups and downs of relationships - you’ve seen how God has MOVED in my life.

in this episode, i'm just reflecting on my engagement to Nas, what this moment means to me, and how God has worked so intentionally in my life.

I also wanted to encourage you all that is a testimony of God’s faithfulness. how He restores, redeems, and aligns everything for His glory.

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how often do you go to God because you want Him - not because you want something from Him?

in this episode, i unpack how we can fall into the trap of treating God like a genie: someone to grant our wishes rather than worship as our holy, sovereign Father. i share my own story of idolising my desires and seeing God as a means to an end - and how that mindset left me spiritually stagnant.

but here’s the truth: God loves us too much to give us everything we ask for.

His blessings are in accordance with His will, not ours. and when we live in surrender, we experience transformation far beyond what we could ever imagine.

what i talk about:
✨ why treating God like a genie is dangerous to your faith
✨ how God’s sovereignty works above human desires
✨ the destructive nature of the human heart and why God withholds certain things
✨ practical ways to shift your mindset from self-serving to God-serving
✨ why God’s rejection is often His protection

scriptures i mention:

• jeremiah 17:9 – "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"
• proverbs 3:5-6 – "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
• james 4:3 – "you ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
• isaiah 55:8-9 – "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord."
• psalm 46:10 – "be still, and know that I am God."
• exodus 32:1-4 – the story of the golden calf.
• romans 12:2 – "do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind."

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losing your fire for God is probably one of the most frustrated and destructive feelings to feel as a beliver. it's something we all struggle with as a believer at some point.

but i wanna go into not just that feeling but why chasing that “on fire” feeling can lead to guilt or self-righteousness, and how we can reframe our relationship with God to grow deeper, more sustainable faith.

i share my personal experience of losing that fire, chasing emotional highs in my faith, and how God has shown me the beauty of His constancy - even in the mundane.

what i talk about:
✨ why losing your fire for God doesn’t mean losing your faith
✨ how chasing spiritual highs can lead to self-righteousness and guilt
✨ the danger of idolising the feeling of fire over worshipping God
✨ practical ways to rekindle sustainable faith
✨ the power of seeing God in the mundane

scriptures i mention:

• 2 corinthians 12:9 – "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
• lamentations 3:22-23 – "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning."
• john 15:4 – "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me."
• psalm 119:105 – "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

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