We continue through Chris's second hand DVD collection with another film that, unbelievably, also has no direct involvement with Roger Corman. It's 1999's The Prince and the Surfer, which barely involves any surfing at all.

Cash Canty (Sean Kellman) is a, and I cannot stress this enough, SKATEBOARD (not surfer) kid who spends his days as Southern California teenagers in films like this typically do: hanging out by the half pipe, saying "whatever" to his friends, not going to school. But after breaking into a swanky hotel, he finds a young prince of the made up country of Gelfland is his exact double! To adhere to the Twain plot, they switch places and then do... stuff.

Prince Edward (also Kellman) hangs out with Cash's friends, including the pigtailed Mel (Linda Cardellini). Meanwhile Cash goes about seducing Edward's betrothed Galina (Katie Johnson). But the queen's evil vizier Kratski (Robert Englund) has ulterior motives for the visit to the United States. He wants to sell Gelfland to a mini-golf empire and turn it into Golfland.

Also, Cash's dad Johnny (Timothy Bottoms, who is uncredited because they forgot to credit him) falls in love with Queen Albertina (Jennifer O'Neill). It's all very Shakespearean, except nothing really happens at the end and instead of a mass wedding we get a rushed epilogue read by some surfer dude to try to convince us this movie had anything to do with surfing.

And for whatever reason, in the Tubi version Jon Voight appears in a poorly mic'd intro where he says he wants to see more modern Mark Train adaptations because he is a "concerned father." Lol.

Your Stupid Minds sifts through some of Chris's $4 DVD acquisitions from Half Price Books and these things called "video stores" where our ancient ancestors used to purchase their entertainment wares. We start with the 1995 sci-fi direct-to-video low budget epic Galaxis (or Terminal Force), which some critic (we'll never know who) described as "Star Wars meets The Terminator." Starring Brigitte Nielsen, Richard Moll, Fred Asparagus (lol), Alan Fudge (lol), Sam Raimi for some reason, and professional Diablo III gold farmer Arthur Mesa.

In a far off space battle that is in no way like the opening of Star Wars, Lord Tarkin (Craig Fairbrass) battles it out with evil space wizard Kyla (Moll). When Tarkin is betrayed by his sniveling wiener underling (Raimi) Kyla steals their magic crystal (which may be called Galaxis, the title is never mentioned nor explained) that gives them power or something. Ladera (Nielsen) comes upon Tarkin, who reveals to her that there is a second crystal, which she can use to defend the Sintarian people, or Kyla could use to destroy the universe or something.

Unfortunately, the crystal is on Earth. Doubly unfortunately, it's now in Los Angeles (but good for the filmmakers, who already happened to be there). The film switches abruptly from a Star Wars ripoff to a Terminator ripoff, when Ladera teams up with a rogue-like drunk named Jed Sanders (John H. Brennan). They do some Terminator stuff and Kyla shoots them with force lightening. Meanwhile corpulent gangster Victor (Asparagus) chases after Jed with various Wile E. Coyote instruments of death, and two hapless detectives (Roger Aaron Brown and Cindy Morgan) traipse around 90s LA sighing and shaking their heads at all the violence.

What do you get when you combine Jackie Chan, John Cena, Euron Greyjoy, six Chinese production companies, AND the 2013 winner of the China division championship of the Miss Bikini of the Universe pageant? Why 2023's Hidden Strike, of course!

Dragon Luo (Chan) is the legendary leader of a private security company tasked with rescuing the kidnapped Chinese workers of an oil refinery in Iraq. For whatever reason his estranged daughter Luo Mei (Ma Chunrui) is also there, but she hates him because, like Gunner, he was busy being cool in some far off conflict zone instead of bonding with her after her mother's death.

Meanwhile, ex-special forces soldier Chris Van Horne (Cena) is just kind of hanging around a Middle Eastern village entertaining children and feeling kinda bad about American military adventurism abroad. In an attempt to get water or something for the village, he teams up with some terrorists/mercenaries in this plot to kidnap the refinery workers.

After 40 solid minutes of deadly serious action intrigue and ripoffs of Mad Max: Fury Road set pieces, Cena and Chan finally meet up and remember that they're both funny. The film shifts wildly into an action buddy comedy and stays that way. We liked the second half way more than the first. Plus there are bloops at the end!