『With & For / Dr. Pam King』のカバーアート

With & For / Dr. Pam King

With & For / Dr. Pam King

著者： Dr. Pam King
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 With & For explores the depths of psychological science and spiritual wisdom to offer practical guidance towards spiritual health, wholeness, and a life of thriving. Hosted by developmental psychologist Dr. Pam King. スピリチュアリティ 心理学 心理学・心の健康 社会科学 科学 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • How to Restore a Relationship, with Dr. Terry Hargrave

    How to Restore a Relationship, with Dr. Terry Hargrave
    2025/05/26
    Romantic relationships are sacred, powerful, and life-giving. But I don’t have to tell you how difficult it is to love and let yourself be loved.Marriage and family therapist Dr. Terry Hargrave has been helping couples in crisis restore broken relationships for decades, teaching them how to get unstuck, improve communication, and move beyond destructive coping mechanisms—to find reciprocity, self-affirming confidence, emotional regulation, and a joyful, lasting love.In a world marked by loneliness, disconnection, and emotional dysregulation, Hargrave offers powerful insights on the human need for identity, safety, and belonging—and how we can heal the wounds that keep us stuck. Drawing on decades of therapeutic experience and deep personal reflection, Hargrave explains how coping mechanisms like blame, shame, control, and escape can damage relationships—and how the peace cycle of nurture, self-valuing, balanced give-and-take, and connection can restore wholeness. He discusses his unique approach to the healing and restorative power of relationships, which lifts us up to our potential, encouraging us toward a nurturing, self-valuing, non-controlling reciprocity, and true connection.In this conversation with Terry Hargrave, we discuss:How to turn around a relationship in crisis and get off the emotional rollercoasterHow to build security and trust in order to improve or repair a marriage or long-term relationshipCoping mechanisms of blame, shame, control, and escapePractical steps to learn emotional self-regulationWhat to do when only one partner is working on a relationshipThe role of the brain and neuroplasticity in relational repairAnd the spiritual underpinnings of Terry’s approach to restoration therapyEpisode Highlights"It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing—until you claim your belovedness for yourself, nothing will change.""Relationships are a mirror—we discover who we are through how others see us.""Blame, shame, control, and escape—nothing good comes from these coping mechanisms.""Understanding doesn’t produce change. Doing produces change.""When we nurture, self-value, connect, and cooperate, unleashed joy happens.""Thriving is doing more of your best self, not learning something new."Helpful Links and ResourcesRestoration Therapy Training ResourcesThe Mindful Marriage by Ron Deal and Nan Deal (with Terry and Sharon Hargrave)Five Days to a New Self by Terry HargraveEmotionally Focused Therapy and Sue Johnson's LegacyShow NotesIntroduction to Terry Hargrave and the importance of Restoration Therapy today"We are still the same humans, but with a bigger pipe of problems and fewer emotional connections."Emotional dysregulation linked to identity and safety threatsRelationships as a mirror to the self and necessary for human thriving"For there to be a me, there has to be a thou."Why relationships are difficult: imperfection, wounding, and unmet needsHow family of origin wounds influence coping styles"Families don't mean to screw each other up, but somehow they manage to."Introduction of the four major unhealthy coping mechanisms: blame, shame, control, and escapeHow overachievement, perfectionism, and withdrawal are survival strategies from early wounding"Your greatest strength might actually be an old coping habit getting in the way of intimacy."The relational signs that coping mechanisms are damaging relationshipsHealing through self-regulation: speaking truth to yourself with love"Put your hand on your heart and remind yourself of who you really are."The difference between co-regulation and self-regulation in emotional healingRestoration Therapy’s peace cycle: nurture, self-value, balance, connection"Nothing good comes from blame, shame, control, or escape."The role of practice and neuroplasticity in forming new relational habits"Doing, not just understanding, is what rewires the brain."How thriving relationships move from neediness to adventurous partnershipIntimacy as knowing yourself more fully through connection, not just need satisfactionCooperative growth and mutual flourishing as hallmarks of thrivingApplication of restoration principles to broader societal healing and reconciliation"Unleashed joy happens when we choose nurture and connection, even with adversaries."The critical role of faith in affirming belovedness and ultimate identity"Everyone else and even God can tell you you're beloved—but you have to claim it for yourself."Practical advice for knowing when to seek therapyWhere to find Restoration Therapy-trained therapistsResources for learning more: Mindful Marriage and other Restoration Therapy booksThe key takeaways that I will carry with me from this conversation are the following:You can change. Your relationship can change. But it takes a daily practice of hard work to create lasting change.And though you might fail, there is hope that you can begin again.Our coping mechanisms are not superpowers. They hurt us and the people we ...
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    1 時間 8 分
  • Why Morality Matters: Gratitude, Loyalty, and Hope, with Dr. Mona Siddiqui

    Why Morality Matters: Gratitude, Loyalty, and Hope, with Dr. Mona Siddiqui
    2025/05/12
    You can’t be moral on your own. That’s a radical idea in this time of moral outrage, but thriving in public life requires a sense of mutual accountability, belonging, and hospitality for each other.Mona Siddiqui is a professor of religion and society, an author, commentator, and public intellectual, and she suggests that the virtues of loyalty, gratitude, hospitality, and hope can lead us through the common struggle of being human together, living forward into a thriving life of public faith and renewed moral imagination.As Professor of Islamic and Interreligious Studies, Assistant Principal for Religion and Society, and Dean international for the Middle-East at the University of Edinburgh, she is an international beacon of hope that we might find restoration, hospitality, and flourishing in our world of struggle. Working through questions of loyalty, responsibility, belonging, gratitude, robust faith, and what we owe each other, we can find abundant resources for thriving and spiritual health.In this conversation with Mona Siddiqui, we discuss:What is a moral life?The connection between faith, spirituality, and living a moral life of responsibility and integrityThe difference between cultivating virtuous character and doing justiceHow to thrive in a pluralistic society marked by constant struggle and conflictThe promise of gratitude and hospitality in a life of thrivingAnd how to pursue a hopeful, forward-looking approach to restoration in the wake of harm, loss, pain, and suffering.Episode Highlights"Our moral life only becomes alive when we are in a relationship—you can't be moral on your own.""Life is all about searching. Life is all about introspection. Life is all about reflection.""The good life is hard; it's not about ease, but about living with accountability and responsibility.""Hospitality isn't just welcoming—it's negotiating belonging, loyalty, and a sense of shared life.""Gratitude can liberate, but it can also create hierarchies and transactional indebtedness.""Hope is not naive optimism—without hope, how do you live, build relationships, or carry forward at all?"Helpful Links and ResourcesFollow Mona on X (Twitter) at @monasiddiqui7*Christians, Muslims, and Jesus,* by Mona SiddiquiHuman Struggle, Christian and Muslim Perspectives, by Mona SiddiquiA Theology of Gratitude: Christian and Muslim Perspectives, by Mona SiddiquiMy Way: A Muslim Woman’s Journey by Mona SiddiquiThe Moral Maze, BBC Radio 4Show NotesMona Siddiqui’s personal background in Islamic jurisprudence and public theology“I got into Islamic jurisprudence because of personal connection and intellectual curiosity.”Navigating public discourse post-9/11 as a non-white, non-Christian scholarImportance of pluralism and living within diverse identities"I need to create a space that appeals to a wider audience—not just about what I think."Growing up with intellectual freedom in a traditional Islamic householdHow faith upbringing seeds lifelong moral introspection"You are always answering to yourself—you know when you have not lived rightly."Developing comparative theology through seminars with Christian scholarsOverlapping themes between Islamic and Christian thought on the good lifeThe significance of accountability over blanket forgiveness"Belonging is crucial to being a good citizen—you can’t flourish alone."Exploration of loyalty: loyalty to people vs loyalty to principlesCivic loyalty and critical engagement with the state“Because I feel loyal to my country, I should also be its critic.”The role of prayer in cultivating internal moral awarenessReflection on virtues: gratitude, loyalty, hopeThe dark sides of gratitude and loyalty in institutionsParenting with a focus on integrity, accountability, and faithfulness“Live so that whatever you say in public, you can say at home—and vice versa.”Emphasis on public engagement: speaking clearly, making complex ideas accessible"Radio became a gift—people want complex ideas made simple and meaningful."Remaining hopeful despite the culture of outrage and cynicismYoung people’s resilience and persistent hopefulnessHospitality as a fundamental ethic for creating trust and belongingStruggle as a normative, transformative experience that shapes flourishing"Thriving is not just freedom—it’s centering, writing, speaking, and deep human connection."The importance of relationships in thriving and flourishing“Most of us realize—relationships are the hardest, but the most rewarding.”Redefining gratitude: avoiding transactional gratitude, cultivating authentic gratefulnessStruggle cultivates introspection, resilience, creativity, and a deeper moral lifePam King’s Key TakeawaysI can’t be moral on my own. But my decisions are my own. In the end, living with integrity means living with virtue.Personal and public flourishing are deeply connected to our lives of faith and spirituality; and all of us need to bring the depths of our personal spiritual ...
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    1 時間 2 分
  • Live Like You Mean It: Emotional and Cognitive Wellness, with Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang

    Live Like You Mean It: Emotional and Cognitive Wellness, with Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang
    2025/04/28
    Applying neuroscience and psychology to education and formation, pioneering researcher Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang draws connections between emotions, relationships, brains, stories, meaning, and purpose to shed light on how we learn, grow, and thrive.Her research on the brain shows how we’re woven together in an intricate and glorious network of life, and when we synthesize the neurological, the psychological, the physical, and the social, we’re able to come to a deeper and more impactful understanding of human development and flourishing.From the intricacies of adolescent brain development to the emotional and spiritual scaffolding of a meaningful life, she explains how transcendent thinking, story, and emotional engagement fuel identity formation and long-term flourishing. Drawing from cutting-edge research and humanistic insight, she explores how young people co-create their worlds and how adults can support them in becoming adaptive, wise, and agentic.In this conversation with Mary Helen Immordino-Yang, we discuss:The value of integrating neuroscience with educational, emotional, and moral developmentThe strange and glorious case of the adolescent brain—how we mature, learn how to think, feel, and exercise our agency, and strive to become wiseThe emotional and relational nature of education and moral development—expressed in nurturing conversation between caring adults and youthThe importance of agency, intentionality, and transcendent thinking in human thrivingNeural plasticity and the capacity to change our brains throughout our lifespanAnd, the big picture of thriving, that brings together our mental life, neurobiology, and other physical processes—with relationships, community, and society at large.Episode Highlights"Thriving is really about living like you mean it.""We co-construct one another’s lived experiences by the virtue of being there together.""You learn how to have an instinct—it’s not something you’re just born with.""Transcendent thinking literally grows the adolescent brain.""Meaning-making is an abstraction, a transcendent story we construct to bring coherence to our lives."Show NotesThriving as dynamic, purposeful engagementEmotional experiences shaping brain developmentCo-construction of identity in social relationshipsAdolescence as a time of neurodevelopmental remodelingHow transcendent thinking fosters brain growth over timeAdolescents’ drive for deeper moral and ethical narrativesMeaning-making as a tool for personal and societal transformationLinking personal experience with historical and social narrativesDefault mode network and its role in reflection and creativityFrom instinct to insight—how the brain learns to feelThe relationship between emotional health and physical well-beingGut-brain connection, serotonin, and embodied cognitionTranscendence as a cognitive-emotional developmental milestoneInfluence of media, anxiety, and political division on adolescent mindsBrain-based evidence of narrative engagement growing identityLearning to align present feelings with long-term purposeBrain science dismantling the myth of "subjective = unimportant"Agency, presence, and intentionality in thrivingIntegration of neuroscience with humanistic and applied methodsRole of narrative in therapy, art, education, and spiritualityHow adolescents learn to feel, not just what to thinkCulturally-rooted belief systems shaping neural responsesThe importance of reflection, introspection, and deep conversationAdolescents’ innate capacity for moral concern and big-picture thinkingLearning through story: case studies in adolescent empathyReclaiming agency from external cultural and tech influencesIdentity as a lifelong, evolving narrative—not a fixed outcomeGrowth as intentional reflection, not cognitive accelerationSpiritual wellness as iterative construction of meaning and valuesParenting and mentoring for deep reflective growthAdaptive wisdom: balancing immediacy with long-term visionSigns of flourishing: self-liking, relationship quality, agencyImportance of diverse experiences and safe, supportive relationshipsAdults thriving through neuroplasticity and meaning-makingThe lifelong role of story and belief in shaping purposeCognitive engagement and values-based direction over passive successEmotional safety and time as prerequisites for transcendenceListening, asking why, and welcoming the unknown as virtues of thrivingPam King’s Key TakeawaysBrain science isn’t better or worse than other perspectives on human life, but it offers incredible insight for how we grow and thrive.Stories and narratives are the essential threads that hold our lives together; how you think and the story you’re telling yourself matters for your thriving.Education isn’t just a cognitive process. Our emotions and our bodies and our sense of connection and safety in relationships play a central role in learning.Spiritual health connects how our transcendent thinking informs our ...
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    1 時間 5 分

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