Feelings are the hidden energy that drives behaviour at work. They shape decisions, teamwork, and culture—whether we realise it or not.

Cue the feelings of helplessness and frustration as you question why things seem to go wrong despite your efforts. Maybe you feel like you're unfairly judged or that your career is being held back by external factors.

And when you try to find a way through?

You end up focusing on the negatives, interpreting neutral actions as personal attacks, and falling into the trap of a victim mindset.

Does this sound familiar?

If you've ever felt stuck or unfairly treated, you might be experiencing this mindset. But here’s the good news: You can break free from it.

Here are three practical steps to help you move from feeling like a victim to taking control:

👉 Challenge Your Certainty: When you're convinced you're being treated unfairly, ask yourself, "In what way could I be wrong?" This small shift in thinking opens up new possibilities.

👉 Shift Your Perspective: Before reacting, pause and consider the other person’s viewpoint. What might their experience be? Understanding both sides can change the dynamic.

👉 Self-Reflect: Ask yourself the tough question: "How might I have contributed to this situation?" Taking ownership of your role gives you power to change the outcome.

Remember, the power to shift your mindset lies within you. By breaking free from the victim mentality, you open up new opportunities for growth and success.

The Titanic was the greatest ship of its time. It was the Edwardian equivalent of the Airbus 380, designed to transport a large number of passengers quickly and safely across the Atlantic.

All of the elements in the story of the sinking of the Titanic can be abstracted out and seen every day in any large organisation. This is particularly true when it comes to communication breakdowns. The Titanic and the events surrounding it serve as a metaphor for the modern hybrid organisation.

Like the Titanic, modern hybrid organisations are technologically complex. There is frequently an overreliance on technology to manage systems (resulting in a decrease in developing robust human systems) and a belief that technology will save us. Because everyone had the brief that the Titanic was unsinkable, they underestimated the risk. The Titanic was unsinkable... until it sank. Too Big to Fail is a book by journalist Andrew Ross Sorkin about the collapse of the Wall Street bank Lehman Brothers (Sorkin, 2010). Of course, Lehman Brothers (and Barings Bank) were too large to fail, just as the Titanic was too large to sink.

The radio operators on the Titanic were overwhelmed by day-to-day tasks, just as we are often overwhelmed by day-to-day tasks at work and struggle to see the bigger picture. We have a tendency to overlook what is important…

Someone asks for help to sort out a problem or situation, and when you offer a few suggestions, they spend ages telling you why your ideas won’t work, how they have tried all of those ideas before, and that they just don’t know what to do. Does this sound familiar?

This podcast will give you some ideas to help you effectively manage and support the help rejecting complainer, leading to improved performance, reduced conflict and a smoother work environment for everyone.

You were really sure that you were right, but you have found out that you were wrong.

How many times have you been in that situation? How many times have you said to yourself, ‘how could I have been so stupid?’

Becasue when you feel you are right it does not actually mean you are right.

It’s just a perception. It's a belief and a feeling and not a fact. Your feeling of being right could be right - or it could be wrong. This tendency that we all have - to experience our perceptions as facts is one of the biggest factors that our internal saboteur uses to derail us.

The next time you know you are right...pause and, just for a moment, accept that you might be wrong. Treat your feelings as being hypotheses - as beliefs rather than objective truth (this is hard but possible). 

Here are some awkward questions that you can ask yourself that will help you achieve this:

• What do I believe about this situation?  
• What evidence do I have for my belief? 
• Is there any evidence to indicate that I’m wrong?
• In what way could I be wrong? 

Because even the most intelligent people can sometimes be wrong...

Do you ever feel that you haven’t got time to think? Do you ever feel that life and experiences are just passing you by because you spend much of your day firefighting?

By doing this short exercise every day (or at least every week), you will find that when you do, you’ll have far more perspective on life and on your career. Everybody I have spoken to who has tried this exercise, has found it to be incredibly valuable. It’s an exercise I do myself.

1.  Sit down somewhere quiet.  Make sure there will be on interruptions, and take a deep breath to quiet your mind. Try and become aware of any tension in your body, let it go. Consciously let the tension go from your muscles.

2. Replay your day (or week) in your mind. Think about any strong emotions that you had (either positive or negative). Reflect on those and try and understand what was going on for you.

3. Think of all the things you were grateful for. Think of three things that went well that day (or week). Think about why they went well, and what you did that made them turn out well.

4. Think about the things you found difficult and struggled with. Think about what you might need help with. Where can you get this help? Who could you ask?

5. Think of your family, friends, and colleagues. What do they seem to be struggling with or find difficult. What could you do to help them – to help them have a better day tomorrow?

 6. Reflect on anything you did today (or during the week) that you regret. What mistakes did you make? Were you unpleasant to anyone? Do you need to say sorry to anyone? If you could turn the clock back, is there anything you would have done differently?

 7. Think about tomorrow.  What is the one thing you could do that might make tomorrow a better day? Maybe you could remember to take a break at lunchtime? Perhaps try and be a better listener? Maybe you could try to be better at saying no to people?

And in the words of Bob Dylan...

"If you haven't all the things you want, be grateful for the things you don't have that you wouldn't want."

Have you ever felt really exhausted, but at the same time unable to switch off, relax or even sleep? Do you ever feel cynical about your job and wonder what the point of it all is? If you have experienced any of the above, you may be on the road to burnout.

This is a book about burnout – the biggest public health crisis of the 21st century. Burnout is a visceral physical experience. It’s the exhaustion, the anxiety, the sick feeling in your stomach. Burnout is also in your head. It’s the cynicism, negativity and detachment from work and people. It’s the inability to think clearly, the absence of mental well-being. People on the road to burnout are often clinically anxious and depressed...

This podcast is the introduction to my new book Anti-burnout: How to Create a Psychologically Safe and High-performance Organisation.  Now available from Amazon, on kindle or hardback.

How would you feel if one of your colleagues called you scum in front of other people?

Recently the deputy leader of the Labour Party, Angela Rayner, was forced to apologise after she called a Tory MP 'scum,' in the House of Commons.

Research has shown that rudeness - even witnessing rudeness - significantly reduces people's ability to think clearly, be creative and help their colleagues. 

Rudeness and incivility is not just unpleasant, it has a direct and significant impact on performance and productivity.

In other words, if you want to lead a great team - a creative team that gets things done…don’t be rude.