Welcome to the The Positive Growth Doctor Podcast®! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.

I have a question for you. Ready? If you could go back to high school, would you? It’s not a trick question.

For some, it was their glory days, and they would go back in a heartbeat. For others, not so much. In fact, it was a pretty traumatic time for them.

For me, I’d rather poke my eye out repeatedly with my pen.

So why does all this matter? We all have experienced mean girls. These girls often grow up and become even better at it, sneakier, and better manipulators. So, we deal with them in adulthood too.

However, I know some that actually change and become better human beings. Most often, that is not the case.

Our early experiences shape who we are and how we see the world. Experiences matter. But just how much do they matter?

In this episode, I acknowledge that experiences matter and why. I remind you that those experiences don’t define you, and I offer strategies to help you move forward and persevere because no one comes out of adolescence completely unscathed and you have to deal with this effectively into adulthood. Ahhh, womanhood!

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

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Uncovering the Mystery of Who We Are as Women and Why

When I started my dissertation work, I wanted to know why adolescent females were so mean to one another. Why would someone treat another human being that way?

Unfortunately, the topic of adolescent aggression would be difficult to get past the IRB board, which assures the protection of participants.

It would take a decade to tiptoe through that hot mess and complete that research study. Plus, why would I put myself through all that and trigger my own trauma?

I worked so hard to heal myself after all. Research suggests that personality development is derived from a combination of nature and nurture.

This means that you are born with some traits, but your experiences along the way also help shape you. Perhaps that is why two people may have been subjected to the same situation but deal with it differently.

Many things go into our development, such as parenting styles, socioeconomic factors, cultural influences, religious affiliations, the people we are surrounded by, such as family, friends, coaches, neighbors, and teachers.

I grew up during a time where divorce was rare. My parents divorced when I was four and again when I was five, so I was already an outlier. I grew up with a single mom, which meant we lived at the poverty level.

I was an unusual child because I processed information differently, which made me seem either uninterested, backward, or lazy.

I always knew I was different but wasn’t entirely sure why. I later learned that I am actually neurodivergent. I learn differently, am quite intelligent, but approach the world in a very different way.

Perhaps that is why I would rather poke my eye out repeatedly than go back to high school.

What was it like for you growing up? What factors were in play that contributed to your development and experiences?

What Contributes to Women Feeling Frustrated and Stuck?

It is not unusual to feel like you aren’t enough or to lack confidence as a young girl. Many times that stays with you as a young woman.

No one has ever come into this world with ready made confidence. That does not exist. That is why the early years are so painful. W

I thought that I would devote this first episode to diving into some of the things that women often experience that causes them to feel stuck in their journey as a woman.

It is something that women deal with often.

Some call it imposter syndrome, but THAT is a fallacy. Women are not imposters. They have often earned their place at the table. Syndrome implies that they are possibly disordered.

As we grow as human beings, we sometimes feel uncertain or feel uncomfortable. That is normal!

Although some call this imposter syndrome, let's be clear, an impostor is intentional in presenting something that is fake. While some might fake it to make it, most women are genuinely channeling who they are but experience some discomfort based on societal expectations of who society thinks we should be. That is not imposter syndrome. It is simply a wager between what some believe we should be and who we truly are.

As the positive growth doctor, I am devoted to helping women, who have been bogged down by societal expectations of who they “should be.”

We live in a society that pushes us to be faster and better… a better mom, employee, wife. Wait, I meant to say the perfect mom, employee, wife, etc. It is exhausting. Isn’t it?

I am tired of seeing women struggling to keep up with something that doesn’t exist and seeing women hurting as a result. Enough! It is time to say, “I am done with that!” “And I’m not going back to that!”

So when it does creep up, and it will, you will be able to shift gears and squash it.

I am meeting myself where I am at and being my authentic self because that is where it is at, right? That is where so many women want to be.

In this episode, I define what contributes to feeling this way. I give you hope that there are options out there to help you dig your way out of this common rut and to thrive on your life journey! It’s all about empowering women along the way.

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Being a Modern Woman Isn’t Easy Given High Societal Expectations

As a student in grad school, I was told by my professors that when 4 or more women came together, it was chaotic. There was backbiting and all the stuff. I am here to tell you that assumption is crap! This paints women in such an ugly way.

Yes, it does happen, but it is NOT the norm. Women are nurturing. We are strong! We can and do help one another grow!

I belong to a very large group of women entrepreneurs. We support one another and thrive. It is possible! To be fair, entrepreneurs are a rare breed.

However, painting women as chaotic and negative in general is wrong. While there are a few that struggle with this, it is not the norm. I am DONE WITH THAT philosophy.

What if we were all done with that thinking as women? Whoa, think of the change that could occur?

Perfectionism destroys women. It destroys us in relation to societal norms, body image, and so much more.

What Contributes to Women Feeling Frustrated and Stuck?

Sometimes women experience a pattern of doubt about who they are and what they have accomplished. It leads to fear about who they are and what they are capable of. This occurs even when there is evidence that this is not the case.

As women, we second guess ourselves all the time. So why is that?

It goes back to our version of societal expectations. We have been sucked into the vortex of how we are viewed and what is expected of us.

Have you ever felt like, “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not good enough?” That is what I am talking about!

Many women who are high level overachievers feel th