So many parents I work with tell me the same thing: “I thought I’d be different.” We want to be gentle, connected, patient. But when the pressure builds… we feel hijacked by old patterns. This week, I sat down with trauma-informed parent coach Jaspreet Chopra Lewis to talk about why that happens — and what to do about it.

We talked about inherited patterns like emotional invalidation, the exhausting pendulum between too much control and too much guilt, and how nervous system work can help you shift in real-time, not just in hindsight.

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Who is Jaspreet Chopra Lewis?

Jaspreet is a Trauma Informed Parent Coach and a Polyvagal Informed music interventionist. She strongly believes that focusing on behavior modification will never help you develop a deeply connected relationship with your child. Real change happens when parents do the work, heal from their own childhood, and see their child's experience from a fresh perspective and not from a lens that is colored by conventional thoughts, their own childhood experiences and their current stresses. And that's how children can be led into better behavior, better choices and emotional regulation. Her frameworks for healing and parenting draw hugely from the works of Dr. Gabor Mate, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Daniel Seigel. Jaspreet has over 24 years of experience in journalism, operations & management, training and coaching. Apart from supporting parents in their parenting journey, she is also actively working to create safe spaces for women and children through awareness programs. Jaspreet's Resource: www.themindfulfamily.in/trigger-to-triumph — Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

What if healing isn’t something you have to do before parenting but something you do within it?

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore what healing really looks like when you’re not at a retreat, but in a home full of snack crumbs, emotional meltdowns, and endless to-do lists.

This isn’t about becoming a brand new person. It’s about becoming a softer, braver, more present version of yourself, right in the middle of the mess.

We talk about how parenting can awaken the parts of us that were never truly seen, how to show up for ourselves while showing up for our kids, and why the smallest unseen moments, the breath, the pause, the whispered “I’m sorry,” are what changes everything.

Today we explore:

- Why healing during parenthood is harder — but more meaningful

- 4 gentle shifts to start healing even when you’re exhausted

- Why perfection isn’t the goal, presence is

- How to rewire your inner voice with compassion

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Have you ever caught yourself reacting to your child in a way that feels all too familiar, perhaps echoing your own parents' responses? These moments often reveal the invisible family patterns we've unconsciously inherited.

In Episode 57 of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore how these unseen scripts shape our parenting styles and emotional responses. We'll discuss how to identify these patterns, understand their origins, and take the first steps toward conscious change.

Today we explore:

• What invisible family patterns are and how they form
• Recognizing when these patterns influence your parenting
• Strategies to begin altering these inherited behaviors
• The importance of self-compassion in the journey of change

Join me as we delve into the transformative process of becoming more aware of our inherited parenting styles and learn how to foster a more intentional and connected relationship with our children.

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Have you ever surprised yourself with how intensely you reacted to your child?

That flood of anger or shame? The moment where a small behavior felt so deeply personal?

This episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast dives into the tender truth that parenting often reawakens childhood wounds—and that’s not a flaw, it’s an invitation.

When our children act out, they're often unknowingly tapping into something buried within us: a memory, a hurt, a part of ourselves still waiting to be seen.

In this first episode of our May series, Healing the Past to Parent Better, we explore the concept of emotional triggers in parenting and why reactions like yelling, shutting down, or intense guilt often stem from the past, not the present.

You’ll learn how to spot disproportionate emotional responses when shame might actually be a sign of something deeper, and how to gently begin reparenting yourself while raising your child.

If you're ready to break generational cycles, build self-awareness, and respond from wholeness instead of wounding—this conversation is for you.

Today we explore:

🔍 Why your child’s behavior triggers disproportionate reactions

💬 How to know if you’re reacting from an old wound

🧠 A powerful question to interrupt patterns

❤️ Why this isn’t just parenting—it’s healing

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Full Transcript HERE.

— Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Why do couples who love each other still drift apart after having children? Why do the very efforts meant to show love often miss the mark? In this heart-opening conversation, Marriage & Family Therapist Lodovica Guidarelli joins us to unpack why emotional disconnection happens even in committed marriages, and how love languages, unspoken expectations, co-leadership, and even undiagnosed neurodivergence can quietly erode intimacy. We don’t just blame “communication issues.” We get honest about what really pulls couples apart, and more importantly, how they can find each other again. If you're feeling unseen, unappreciated, or stuck in endless loops of misunderstanding, this episode will help you feel understood and offer a compassionate roadmap back to connection. Today we uncover: 🔍 Why emotional distance grows after parenthood 💬 How love languages can be misinterpreted 🧠 The hidden impact of neurodivergence in marriage ❤️ Why co-leading (not just supporting) matters Stop assigning painful meanings to relationship struggles. There's a different, and more hopeful, way to understand and repair. ✨ Tune in for powerful insights that could change the way you see your partner... and yourself.

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Who is Lodovica Guidarelli?

Lodovica Guidarelli is an Italian-American Marriage and Family Therapist, married, and mother of two. She works with couples, individuals, and parents, both online and in person, in the state of California. In her work, she integrates somatic and trauma-informed approaches, such as EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Brainspotting, and Narrative Therapy. You can find her at:

• www.lodovicaguidarelli.com
• lodovicaguidarellimft@gmail.com
•  via text at 858-255-0895

And don’t forget to mention the Parenthood and Relationship Podcast and get your 50% discount for your first session, should you decide to work with Lodovica!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

What if the problem isn’t your partner… but that you’re both trying to love each other in old ways that no longer fit?

In this gentle and reflective episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore how relearning love is essential after parenthood — especially when the spark feels faint, but the love is still there. You may not be in crisis, but if you're feeling more like roommates in marriage than lovers, or wondering why the emotional connection after babyfeels different, you are not alone.

We’ll talk about why parenthood affects marriage, how to recognize the signs of emotional disconnection, and the quiet ache of missing your partner when they’re right next to you. If you've ever thought, “I love my partner, but I don’t feel in love,” this is for you.

No pressure. No perfection. Just simple, real-world tools for tired parents who want to feel close again—like micro rituals, weekly check-in questions, and using love languages in marriage as a compass, not a rulebook. It’s about building emotional intimacy slowly, kindly, and with more awareness.

✨ This week’s free journaling prompt is designed to help you tune into what kind of love you need now—not what worked before kids. Download it via markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

Today we explore:

• 🔍 How parenthood changes your emotional needs
• 💬 Signs you're emotionally ready to reconnect
• 🧠 Tiny rituals that restore intimacy
• ❤️ Why love after baby requires a new emotional language

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 📢 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

You’re doing your best—making lunches, folding laundry, handling bedtime routines.

Yet, something feels off. Your partner seems distant, and despite your efforts, the emotional connection is missing.​

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we delve into the complexities of love languages in the context of parenting.

As responsibilities increase, couples often find themselves expressing love in ways that may not resonate with their partner.

This mismatch can lead to feelings of being unappreciated and misunderstood.​

We explore why these mismatches occur, especially during the demanding phase of early parenthood.

Factors like stress, fatigue, and changing personal needs can alter how we give and receive love.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial for maintaining a strong emotional bond.​

This episode offers practical strategies to bridge the gap:​

- Recognizing and respecting each other’s love languages.​

- Implementing regular check-ins to stay emotionally connected.​

- Learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner.​

By becoming more attuned to each other’s emotional needs, couples can foster a deeper connection, even amidst the chaos of parenting.

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To support this journey, I’ve created a free journaling prompt designed to help you reflect on your love language and better understand your partner’s. Sign up for my newsletter at markellakaplani.com/newsletter to receive this resource directly in your inbox.​

Remember, love languages can evolve, especially during significant life changes like becoming a parent.

By staying curious and open, you can navigate these changes together, strengthening your relationship along the way.​

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🎁 Want extra support? Download my free journaling prompt to discover your current love language at markellakaplani.com/newsletter -- Full Transcript HERE. -- Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉 Subscribe for more parenting insights 👉 Grab my top Resources 👉 Get on my [FREE] Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com