I've had a lot of opportunities on this podcast to say some things I'd later regret. But of all of them, I think the line I regret the most came from the very first episode. I said "As long as I know I'm where God wants me, I don't care what the purpose of that is."

I don't regret it because it was wrong. Honestly, it sounds pretty righteous to me. I regret it because it turns out it was a lie. To my pastor. In chruch. God reminds me of this pretty much every time I question Him.

Sometimes we feel like we're running on a treadmill. No matter how hard we try, nothing we do seems to move us where we are trying to go. Other times, we feel like dust in the wind, blown all over the place with no control at all over where we are heading.

But sometimes God wants us to stay put for a while, so He sends us a treadmill to keep us busy. Other times, He knows that we can't get where He wants us on our own, so He sends a gust of wind to help us get there.

There's a lot of peace to be found in what I said in the first episode. If you mean it.

Sometimes life happens. This episode was recorded just before Christmas. Also 2 days before my computer crashed taking all of my files down with it.

Fortunately, the recording was already uploaded to YouTube, so I was able to get my hands back on it. It comes in handy to have some extra episodes laying around when vacations and life keeps us from recording as often. I hope you enjoy the irony, considering we’re about as far away on the calendar from Christmas as we could possibly be. But Jesus is the gift that keeps on giving the whole year!

There’s a great quote from one of my favorite movies: “Good judgement is the result of experience, and a lot of experience comes from bad judgement.”

Certainly, God wants us to develop good judgement. But we get frustrated that He allows us to have bad judgement along the way. Free will isn’t always convenient, but it is part of His plan. When we make mistakes, or things just don’t work out the way we hoped, we have a choice in how we can handle it.

It’s so easy to fall into blame, regret, and guilt. But when we remember God’s patience, grace, mercy and faithfulness, we can find joy and gratitude in how God will use them for growth.

Jesus bought our freedom with His blood. Before the Cross, we were bound by our sin, but now we have a choice. But it still our choice. We decide how to use this freedom. Unfortunately, part of having freedom is being free to make the wrong choices, too.

But we are not free from the earthly consequences of sin. And freedom shouldn’t be mistaken for God's apathy toward our sins. He will still love us, but He will hate our decisions. And out of His love for us, don't be surprised if He goes out of His way to redirect and correct them if they become habits in our lives.

When we see our kids in danger, we tend to throw tactful out the window. Sometimes God has to do the same with us. But as His children, we shouldn’t lose sight of the love that He is showing us, even in the harsh corrections.

One of the threats to our walk with God is becoming so hard-headed and rigid that we forget there are two sides of every coin. Work needs to be done, but we also need rest. We show patience and grace to others, but there’s a time for discipline and hard truth. The joy of God’s love should never leave us, but neither should the fear and awe of His power.

Sometimes we try so hard to figure out God’s magic formula for our lives that we forget He created all of these concepts and intended for us to have a healthy blend of them. It’s Ecclesiastes 3 in motion. But how do we decide where the line is and exactly how much of each we need, and when? Simple, we don’t.

The solution to the magical God formula comes from accepting that He is the only One who knows it. Being humble enough to submit to His will when you don’t know what His will is, that’s peace. Because He doesn’t usually give us the answers the way we want them. He tells us it’s time to rest by taking away our job unexpectedly. He tells us we need to be more patient by sending us people to test it. And if He decides you need a little more humility, well, I’ll be praying for you.

But the only way He can truly teach us how to stop leaning on our own understanding is to send us situations beyond our comprehension. That’s how He develops the one thing we can never have too much of: Trust in Him.

We tend to use the fruits of the Spirit as a guide for our own behavior and actions, but they also give us insight into God’s character. His power and perfection can make it easy for us to paint Him as a tyrant in our minds. But if God’s Spirit is manifested by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, then I think it’s a safe bet that those could be used to describe Him.

My kids love steak, and I cook a pretty good one. But if they asked me to cook it in the toaster, I’d slap them upside the head with a sirloin and tell them to get out of my kitchen. Our plans probably sound even more insane to God, so He has to lovingly redirect us a lot. But we shouldn’t lose sight of His love and joyful nature through these corrections. We should be grateful that He cares for us enough to not let us settle for our own plans.

The Lord has all the power in the world, literally, but He uses it to show us those fruits of His Spirit. I imagine that God is pretty happy and upbeat, probably quick to draw a laugh or smile, and somehow maintains that even when we test His patience and self-control. He doesn’t boss us around to feed His ego. He just loves us too much to want us to do things the wrong way.

It’s easy to forget that God can hear the subtext of our prayers. We can pray “not my will but Yours be done” until we are blue in the face, but if we really mean “God, I think this would be great so please give it to me”, He hears that part too. So, it does us no good to say the “right prayers” that we don’t really mean (I wouldn’t suggest praying “God, I don’t care what You want, I know what’s best for my life” to the all-knowing, all-powerful creator of all things either).

Every hour of every day is a constant choice to choose our path or God’s path. Both will involve heartache, disappointment and struggles. But God’s path uses those struggles to grow us closer to Him, and our path uses them to compound our problems and distance ourselves from His love.

But when we ask for His will and mean it, our anxiety fades into peace, because we know His ways are better than ours anyway. We don’t even have to worry about what that means. We can just live in gratitude for what He’s given us, and is giving us, even when we don’t yet know what that is.