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Did you guys notice how Andy didn’t hit record on the video? Jason likes to give pieces of shit for gifts. (Put it over there with the others, grease ball!) Oh, can we talk about this elf on a shelf? He is getting WILD. He did blow. He put his dick in a box. He went to a strip club. He gave free mustache rides. He pissed in the lemonade. He shit on the cookies. And he seduced Barbie! He’s not a regular elf on a shelf, he’s a cool elf on a shelf. Ok now. Thanks for all of your support in season 2! We’ll see you in 2025 for season 3 of TMRP!

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Which is to say, Christmas. As in Yule. Yule Log. Not a log, I don't have a log. But I mean, you know, just, if I had a log. Not in the sense that you think I said I did. Ah, good golly! It’s the season finale of season 2 of TMRP, and we are discussing what most would agree is one of, if not THE, greatest Christmas movie of all time, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation! Wait, do you hear that? It’s a funny squeaky sound. No? Well…YOU COULDN’T HEAR A DUMP TRUCK DRIVING THROUGH A NITROGLYCERINE PLANT!

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This OOC… What a mess. It’s like there’s a bag of human poop on the table right now. Glittery vampire blood is fine, but if they start sparkling in the sun, they’re lame. Comic book nerdery? Really, Andy? Speaking of Andy, he gave himself a Wiest infection during this recording. Jason doesn’t even proofread his script writing?! What kind of podcast is this?! And let’s not forget about Shrout, he made it his business to step on lots of dicks in this one. Our musical guest, Tim Cappello, does some oily gyrating for us. And we finish the episode up with the argument to end all arguments. (Andy lost). Come with us…

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Sleep all day, party all night, never grow old, never die. It’s fun to be a vampire. This one has it all; Two Coreys, sexy vampires, a sexy Jami Gertz, a sexy sax man, and our first ever perfect rating! Which one of our illustrious hosts rated this a 10?! There’s only one way to find out! Now, drink some of this, followers, be one of us… And join the family as we discuss the sexy, scary, funny, thrilling, vampire classic, The Lost Boys!

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We’re taking you on a big adventure with this one! The universe revolves around this podcast. Apparently, we killed the Smash Mouth guy? Buddah ruins Christmas, and we plan BooStock 2024. Setting people up to be racist. Automatic unisex bidet and douche?! If references made you smart, we’d all be PHDeez! Those things are called bindles??? Speaking of Buddah, Hum still tries to page him after all these years (they have his pager number). Was that Jimmy Smits? Hey… READ YER SHIRT.

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Oh boy, do we have a massive one for you this week! We even posted up in the basement of the Alamo to watch this one. There aren't proper words than can be said about this legendary movie that’ll do it any justice. Our old friend, and prior guest on the pod, Michael Batton (aka Buddah Jones 3000), returns for this episode. So, without further ado, join us as we discuss Pee Wee’s Big Adventure!

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We wrote a movie! Jason Voorhees was traveling to see Allison’s yabbos. We aren’t sure of the distance. Gary Riley was in the movie, of course. Shrout was LIVID regarding the possibility that we might mix Halloween and Christmas in this movie. Jason got super hungry, like as hungry as four dudes. He had a craving for cow’s milk. He also asked for salt, so someone had to get it from the highest possible cabinet in the kitchen, at the very back, where it was totally out of reach. Andy was super into our movie, so naturally he fell asleep to it. Maybe he was just tired from trying to hide the baloney pony? Now, tart faces, take your Clark Bars and sit the hell down and listen to this episode!

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Happy Halloween, friends and enemies! This one is about a Disney movie that talks a whole hell of a lot about virgins, which is really weird. So, there’s this virgin, who hasn’t had sex yet. He meets this girl at school who he is totally into, especially since he’s a virgin that hasn't had sex yet. This virgin takes his sister trick or treating, and runs into the girl that he likes. They all decide to go to this witch house. Instead of not being a virgin anymore, he lights this black flame candle, and the witches come back from the dead. After this, chaos ensues. There’s a talking cat, a zombie, two of the HARDEST dudes ever (Jay and Ice), and lots of fun. Spoiler alert: the virgin is still a virgin at the end of the movie. Join us as we discuss Hocus Pocus!

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