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What do kink, masculinity, and healing have to do with each other?

In this episode, licensed psychotherapist Amanda Earle joins us to unpack what kink actually is—and what it gets wrong in mainstream portrayals. We dig into the relationship between masculinity and power, how submission can be deeply affirming for men, and why kink spaces can be both liberating and intimidating for cishet men looking to explore more of themselves.

Amanda brings nearly a decade of clinical experience working with kink-identified clients, and her approach blends deep compassion, strong boundaries, and lived knowledge of kink culture. Whether you’re someone exploring your own identity or trying to support a man you care about, Amanda breaks down what matters most: consent, safety, and self-knowledge.

👉 Full transcript, fact-check, and vetted resources available at:
https://www.americanmasculinity.com/episodes/kink-and-masculinity

What We Cover in This Episode:

🧠 What Kink Actually Is (and Isn’t)
Amanda explains the difference between kink and BDSM, and why kink isn't inherently sexual. She discusses the emotional, performative, and even therapeutic elements of kink spaces—and why they’re often misunderstood.

⚖️ Power Dynamics and Masculinity
We look at how traditional masculine traits like dominance, control, or discipline show up in kink—and how those same spaces allow men to explore submission, play, and vulnerability. Amanda also names a pattern she sees clinically: high-achieving men seeking safe ways to let go.

🎭 Exploring Identity Through Play
Cross-dressing, age play, service tops, and furries come up—not to sensationalize, but to demystify. Amanda talks about kink as a vehicle for gender exploration and authenticity, especially for men struggling to reconcile “being good” with their need for release, touch, or power exchange.

🛠️ How to Explore Safely (Not Just on the Internet)
We talk about dungeons, tastings, munches, kink orientations, and dungeon monitors. Amanda outlines where cishet men are welcome, where they may feel unsure, and how to avoid the “creep” label by doing the personal work first. Key resources like the Kink Aware Professionals Directory and vetted educators are also highlighted.

❤️ Belonging vs. Authenticity
One of Amanda’s most powerful insights is that many men in kink spaces struggle not with the acts, but with how they’re perceived. She discusses the tension between being authentic and being accepted—and how kink therapy often becomes a place to navigate that edge.

Quotes to Remember:
“If there isn’t consent, it’s not kink.”
“Privilege doesn’t protect you from pain—it just gives you more access to resources.”
“Many of the men I work with aren’t afraid of doing harm. They’re afraid of being seen as harmful.”

Referenced Resources:
- National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) – https://www.ncsfreedom.org
- FetLife.com – https://fetlife.com
- Planet Midori (Instagram) – kink educator
- FurScience.com – https://furscience.com

Fact Check & Source Citations:
- Newmahr, D. (2011). Playing on t

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Men often confuse trauma with everyday stress or pain—until it quietly reshapes their relationships, emotions, and identity. In this conversation, trauma therapist Eric Blommel breaks down how trauma actually works in men, why most of us miss the signs, and what real healing looks like.
👉 Fact Checking, Full citations, tools, and links here: https://www.americanmasculinity.com/episode/amp5

🔍 What We Cover in This Episode

· Why trauma in men often goes unrecognized (and how it hides in plain sight)

· The difference between discomfort, pain, and trauma

· Why men tend to resist therapy—and what actually helps

· How trauma bonding forms in relationships (and why it’s so hard to break)

· The surprising neuroscience behind empathy vs. compassion

· What childhood has to do with adult shutdowns

· One book every man should read to understand himself better

🧠 Guest Bio: Eric Blommel, MA, LPC

Eric Blommel is a senior psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience helping men recover from trauma, addiction, and the hidden wounds of early life. His clinical work blends neuroscience, depth psychology, and a no-BS approach to healing.

📚 Books & Research Mentioned

Support Local Bookstores and the Podcast by shopping for them here:

https://bookshop.org/lists/amp-5-exploring-trauma-list

Citations with ISBNs and source links available below.

• *How Emotions Are Made* – Lisa Feldman Barrett

• *Trauma and Recovery* – Judith Herman

• *Tribe* – Sebastian Junger

• *The WEIRDest People in the World* – Joseph Henrich

• TED Talk: *How to Make Stress Your Friend* – Kelly McGonigal

• Research on empathy vs. compassion (Tania Singer)

• The Replication Crisis in Psychology

• Meta-analysis on telehealth efficacy

📌 Research and Citations

• Empathy vs. Compassion in the Brain

Claim: Empathy activates pain centers, while compassion activates reward centers in the brain.

Source: Singer, T., & Klimecki, O. M. (2014). Empathy and compassion. *Current Biology*, 24(18), R875–R878.

Link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25247366/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

• Stress Mindset and Health Outcomes

Claim: Viewing stress as harmful can negatively impact health, whereas embracing stress can lead to better outcomes.

Source: McGonigal, K. (2013). How to make stress your friend. *TED Talk*.

Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en&utm_source=chatgpt.com

• Efficacy of Telehealth in Mental Health Care

Claim: Telehealth interventions are generally as effective as in-person treatments for common mental health disorders.

Source: Hilty, D. M., et al. (2013). The effectiveness of telemental health: A 2013 review. *Telemedicine and e-Health*, 19(6), 444–454.

Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10063994/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

• Replication Crisis in Psychology

Claim: A significant number of psychological studies fail to replicate, indicating a replication crisis in the field.

Source: Open Science Collaboration. (2015). Estimating th

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Masculine Leadership: Lessons from an Air Force Leader
What happens when men lead from control instead of competence? This episode explores how fear-based leadership damages teams—and how to reset your leadership style with grounded authority.

Former Air Force instructor and Space Force advisor Stephen DeGuzman joins the podcast to share powerful insights on:
– Why masculine leadership often defaults to control
– The difference between fear-based leadership and real influence
– How the military culture both helps and hurts leadership development
– What men can do to grow beyond old leadership habits
– Why trust, not intimidation, builds effective teams

🎯 Whether you’re leading in the workplace, at home, or in uniform—this episode offers a tactical reset for men who carry too much.

🧰 Download the free leadership worksheet:
https://americanmasculinity.gumroad.com/l/pytjp

📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/l1tgh1oqZl0

📚 Book mentioned: Leaders Eat Last – Support us with this affiliate link
https://bookshop.org/a/112938/9781591848011

👤 Connect with Stephen DeGuzman on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephen-deguzman-2a4aa8143

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Masculine Leadership vs Fear-Based Control
05:12 – Leadership Lessons from the Military
14:37 – What Happens When You Micromanage
22:40 – Respect, Dignity, and Modern Masculinity
36:20 – Personal Reflections on Leadership Failure
51:00 – A Tactical Reset for Men Who Lead

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.