👻 Fear of rejection can ruin your dating life in multiple ways: you won't start conversations, ask for a number, invite on a date, or show how you truly feel. Fortunately, you can get over it with gamification! 👾

Although many video games can teach you the Growth Mindset, you may not be applying it IRL... yet 💡 And that's where gamification comes in: it can give you dopamine hits similar to video games, help you stay motivated, and give you positive reinforcement even if you don't get the results you were hoping for 😬

In this interview, Michael Berger and I discuss how you can gamify your dating life to build new habits that will help you get over your fear of rejection (and many other Quests) 🧙‍♂️ This approach has one major advantage over the idea that you need "30 days of consistency to build a habit": with this gamification, you don't lose your progress if you stop. You. Don't. Lose. XP 🎮

I also share my style of gamified coaching to help you get over your fears and anxieties with dating: It starts by recognizing what makes you anxious, giving it a Challenge Rating (CR score), deciding on the actions that you need to take, how much XP each action gives you, and then going out and grinding ⛏️ With a mix of gradual exposure and gamification, you'll level up in no time! ⬆️

🧌 Because just like in video games, you shouldn't start by fighting the BBEG at level 1. Tackling each challenge at the appropriate level will give your body and mind time to get used to it and recognize that it's not the TPK you were expecting. Even if you can't beat it on the first try.

🎧 So what're you waiting for? Listen to this episode so you can start grinding to level up! 💪

Guest's Bio:

Michael Berger aka BergerGames has been a fixture inside the niche of gaming on Instagram for the last two years doing the very common work of a social media personality, but recently he has been adding aspects of his professional day-to-day job as a Licensed Social Worker into his content.

Mike also trains other mental health professionals on how to have conversations about suicide, crisis de-escalation, and motivational interviewing. Recently he’s been creating YouTube videos on the intersection of gaming and mental health, building courses teaching gamers how to take advantage of their psychology and “gamify their life.” And appearing on podcasts like this one.

Links:

Mike Berger's Substack: https://mikebergergames.substack.com/

Socials:

https://www.youtube.com/@MikeBergerGames

bsky.app/profile/mikebergergames.bsky.social

twitch.tv/bergergames_

https://www.instagram.com/bergergames/

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

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https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:26 Micael Berger's Bio

00:01:55 Video Games and Mental Health

00:05:49 Growth Mindset in Video Games

00:08:24 Dopamine for Habit Formation

00:11:53 Gamifying your Fear of Rejection

00:16:24 The Problem with 30-Day Challenges

00:20:11 Exposure to Anxiety

00:24:49 Facing Rejection

00:28:34 Street and Gym "Approach" Examples

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🎲 TTRPG groups can help you make friends and even find your life partner. They're also small enough that they shouldn't cause too much anxiety. But the trick is not to limit your interaction with the other players only to game nights. Use the group to make friends outside the paper! 📝

Frank's wife is fighting stage 4 cancer. Please help them in any way you can https://gofund.me/f86c12bd

📚 Frank and Mouse became friends through their college's TTRPG group. Unfortunately, she was engaged at the time, so Frank decided to respect that boundary. Many years later she invited him to spend the weekend at her place. They had stayed close friends, so Frank went down to meet her. That was when Mouse took the opportunity to tell him how she felt 🫣

🤝 Making friends through a shared hobby is a great way to grow your social network, even if that hobby only involves a handful of people. In fact, TTRPGs (and many board game nights) can make it easier if you're afraid to meet large groups or if you're dealing with social anxiety. The focus is never on having conversations, so you can simply focus on the game if you don't feel like talking. 😶

⏳ With time, you'll get to know all the other players. Because that's where the magic happens: You join a few games, meet them with no character sheets or dice, have real interactions, and build friendships 🥰 Eventually, you might fall in love with a fellow player, one of their friends or family, or even one of their friends' friends.

🎧 Listen to this episode before you roll for initiative! 🎲

Frank's wife is fighting stage 4 cancer. Please help them in any way you can https://gofund.me/f86c12bd

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:02:18 First Impressions
• 00:04:26 The TTRPG Group
• 00:06:43 Becoming Friends
• 00:08:46 A Written Confession
• 00:13:02 Seeing the Signs
• 00:15:42 A History of Friendship
• 00:17:54 Shared or Separate Hobbies
• 00:20:47 Make Friends to Find a Relationship
• 00:23:57 Have the Right Intentions
• 00:26:13 Leave the Container
• 00:30:07 Avoid Being a Creep
• 00:34:35 Alternatives to Dating Apps
• 00:37:50 Overcoming Social Anxiety
• 00:43:03 Support Frank's Wife's Treatment

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🧝‍♂️ If you're into Lord of the Rings and want a partner who shares your passion, start by making friends who are also into fantasy! Vir and I found long-term relationships at our local Tolkien Association, as did most of our friends there... except for very specific people who got rejected by everyone 🙄

🧓 In this episode, we reminisce about our experience meeting and dating fellow nerds with similar interests. Because while reading can be a solitary activity, it doesn't have to be a lonely hobby. It's just a matter of finding the right group of people with whom you can connect and build deep and meaningful relationships 📚

And that's what you should focus on ☝️ Yes, you want to find a partner, but your main priority should be to expand your network. This way, you'll be able to find a Player 2 without needing to go to bars, clubs, or approach random people on the street that you know nothing about 🍻

✋ However, if you focus solely on finding someone to date, you won't fit in with this group. While people may be open to dating, it's not a meat market. So hold your horses, have patience, and avoid the common mistakes we describe in this episode 🙅‍♂️

🎧 What're you waiting for to give it a listen? Forth Eorlingas!

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

💬 Practice your Conversations Skills with FREE online improv games every month... Live!

https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Argentine Tolkien Association: https://www.facebook.com/groups/AsociacionTolkienArgentina/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:34 The Argentine Tolkien Association
• 00:04:58 Meeting New People
• 00:07:58 Building Deep Relationships
• 00:11:13 Common Interests and Dating
• 00:13:24 Not Being a Creep
• 00:18:40 Expanding Your Network
• 00:21:58 The Friend Zone
• 00:25:19 How Long Does It Take?

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media