🔎 Finding your community can sometimes be challenging. Even within the same hobby, different groups may be polar opposites. Even within the Argentine Tolkien Association, the online forum didn't always fit with the association 🧩

In this episode, I bring Jose back to talk about how we found a place where each of us felt we belonged 😌 Not feeling like we fit in with most people around us growing up, in the Argentine Tolkien Association, we found those who made us feel appreciated and welcomed. Even if we didn't "fit the popular norm." 🥰

🧪 Sometimes, finding your people may take trial and error. Some communities have a demographic younger or older than what you'd like, or the people might have values that don't match yours, or they may simply not be a good match. Whatever the case may be, it's worth it to keep looking until you find your group. Even if that's just a subgroup within a larger community 👯

❓ So here's a question for you: if you happened to go to the Argentine Tolkien Association, who do you think you'd like to hang out with? The official members or the forum? 🧐

💬 And if you're wondering where to meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:03:14 How Jose Found the Association
• 00:07:26 Fitting In
• 00:12:32 Different Personalities, Same Interest
• 00:15:43 Feeling Appreciated

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🔥 Dating Apps like Tinder often get a bad rep about what people there are looking for. But even if you start something with no strings attached, if you matched with the right person... you might end up having a nerd wedding with swords and the LOTR soundtrack! 🧝‍♂️

April expected to meet a jock 💪 Someone with whom she wouldn't have much in common. Instead, she fell for a nerd. But that wasn't what they had agreed to. After all, neither of them were looking for a serious relationship. So it wasn't until one of them was vulnerable enough to express their feelings that things changed.

📝 Agreements (even romantic) can be changed and amended. They're not something fixed that once set can't be touched. It does, however, mean risking rejection. Just as confessing that you like someone, trying to change what you already agreed on carries a risk. ⚠️

Is it worth it? Up to you to decide. For April and Scott, it led to a nerd marriage. 💍

🖤 And if you're wondering where to meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/legiodith13

https://www.threads.net/@legiodith13

https://bsky.app/profile/legiodith.bsky.social

Steven's Interview: https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/shy-meets-socially-anxious-and-going-slow/

Tim Ferris' Dating Episode: https://youtu.be/3zPa7b1uq4A?si=t0grWS2U1MippFaV

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:45 All-around Nerd
• 00:01:47 Dating Intentions on Tinder
• 00:08:48 A Long First Date
• 00:13:45 A Star Trek Nerd!
• 00:21:13 From Friend with Benefits to Relationship
• 00:27:48 A Nerd Wedding

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

👻 Fear of rejection can ruin your dating life in multiple ways: you won't start conversations, ask for a number, invite on a date, or show how you truly feel. Fortunately, you can get over it with gamification! 👾

Although many video games can teach you the Growth Mindset, you may not be applying it IRL... yet 💡 And that's where gamification comes in: it can give you dopamine hits similar to video games, help you stay motivated, and give you positive reinforcement even if you don't get the results you were hoping for 😬

In this interview, Michael Berger and I discuss how you can gamify your dating life to build new habits that will help you get over your fear of rejection (and many other Quests) 🧙‍♂️ This approach has one major advantage over the idea that you need "30 days of consistency to build a habit": with this gamification, you don't lose your progress if you stop. You. Don't. Lose. XP 🎮

I also share my style of gamified coaching to help you get over your fears and anxieties with dating: It starts by recognizing what makes you anxious, giving it a Challenge Rating (CR score), deciding on the actions that you need to take, how much XP each action gives you, and then going out and grinding ⛏️ With a mix of gradual exposure and gamification, you'll level up in no time! ⬆️

🧌 Because just like in video games, you shouldn't start by fighting the BBEG at level 1. Tackling each challenge at the appropriate level will give your body and mind time to get used to it and recognize that it's not the TPK you were expecting. Even if you can't beat it on the first try.

🎧 So what're you waiting for? Listen to this episode so you can start grinding to level up! 💪

Guest's Bio:

Michael Berger aka BergerGames has been a fixture inside the niche of gaming on Instagram for the last two years doing the very common work of a social media personality, but recently he has been adding aspects of his professional day-to-day job as a Licensed Social Worker into his content.

Mike also trains other mental health professionals on how to have conversations about suicide, crisis de-escalation, and motivational interviewing. Recently he’s been creating YouTube videos on the intersection of gaming and mental health, building courses teaching gamers how to take advantage of their psychology and “gamify their life.” And appearing on podcasts like this one.

Links:

Mike Berger's Substack: https://mikebergergames.substack.com/

Socials:

https://www.youtube.com/@MikeBergerGames

bsky.app/profile/mikebergergames.bsky.social

twitch.tv/bergergames_

https://www.instagram.com/bergergames/

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

💬 Practice Conversation Skills playing FREE online improv games with me!

https://www.rolltodate.com/improv

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

00:00:00 Intro

00:00:26 Micael Berger's Bio

00:01:55 Video Games and Mental Health

00:05:49 Growth Mindset in Video Games

00:08:24 Dopamine for Habit Formation

00:11:53 Gamifying your Fear of Rejection

00:16:24 The Problem with 30-Day Challenges

00:20:11 Exposure to Anxiety

00:24:49 Facing Rejection

00:28:34 Street and Gym "Approach" Examples

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media