Send us a text

Ever found yourself pondering whether to leave a hotel room spotless or let the cleaning crew earn their keep? On this episode of Premeditated, Neil and Graham take you on a journey through the unspoken rules of hotel checkout etiquette and those quirky norms we all seem to abide by. From deciding if taking home those tiny toiletries is a savvy move or a moral misdemeanor, to personal tales of less-than-luxurious stays featuring Florida bugs, body bugs, bed bugs, and inventive ways to stay warm in NYC, check checkout out.

If you've ever felt a pang of guilt for eyeing that plush hotel robe or wondered how far courtesy should stretch when it comes to tidying up, you're not alone. Whether it's the allure of scented lotions or the creative lengths some go to maximize their hotel experience, we take a look at the tragic world of hotel stays.

Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

insta: @premeditatedpod

Send us a text

In a tire-squealingly contentious case, Neil and Graham, talk to Ross Kelly to tackle the most infamous unwritten law since the invention of the Model T: Get out of my way! Shown through the POVs of a young, virile couple and a college-bound younger sibling, we explore the in's and out's of going in and out of the leftmost lane.

The speed limit isn't the only thing being exceeded! We take comedy to new heights. We do what no lawmaker or politician has ever dared to do, we close the case on where civilians should drive and at what speeds. Do you pull over for highway cowboys? Are cars, by definition, litter?

Don't be surprised if this episode find its way into your nephew's Drivers Ed class curriculum, because the rules of the road start here, and this case file is marked "IMPORTANT" with a double underline.

-----

Judge Neil:
Counsel, we’re here to address the use of the left lane on a freeway. Mr. Graham, you may begin.

Mr. Graham:
Thank you, Your Honor. The left lane should be reserved for passing only. Drivers who remain there unnecessarily cause congestion and create safety hazards.

Mr. Ross :
Your Honor, the left lane isn’t strictly for passing. In some situations, like heavy traffic or when the right lane is occupied, it’s safer to remain in the left lane.

Judge Neil:
Are you suggesting drivers should stay in the left lane even when not overtaking?

Mr. Ross:
Yes, Your Honor. In certain cases, it’s safer and more efficient to stay there.

Mr. Graham:
But that shouldn’t be the standard. Drivers should move right when possible to avoid blocking traffic.

Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

insta: @premeditatedpod

Send us a text

Ever found yourself in an awkward social situation AND in an elevator? Today’s episode of Premeditated offers a look at those exact moments that leave us puzzled. We take you on a journey through an improvised reenactment of an office elevator ride gone not sideways enough. This chance encounter spins into a conversation about societal norms and the silent codes we subconsciously follow in the small metal boxes we ride up and down.

Tune in for a moment of reflection as we untangle the unwritten rules that bind us in everyday scenarios. Neil and Graham guide you through the tension of facing the right direction in an elevator.

-----

Detective Graham:
So what you're saying Lieutenant, is that you want me to go undercover?

Lieutenant Neil:
That's right, Detective. I need you to dust off your best costume jumpsuit and go pretend to be a janitor.

Detective Graham:
But...in our building?

Lieutenant Neil:
That's right.

Detective Graham:
Do you suspect something?

Lieutenant Neil:
I suspect someONE! A no-good ne'er-do-well who stands face-to-face during the ride!

Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

insta: @premeditatedpod

Send us a text

Ever found yourself arm-wrestling a loved one over who gets the first-class upgrade? In this spirited episode of Premeditated, Graham, Neil and our BFF Tess guide you through a hilarious journey into the unpredictable world of airline seat assignments. Alongside Gary Anderson and Mary Patricia, a couple just trying to survive on Spirit Airlines, we explore travel etiquette with a comedic twist. From playful banter to candid confessions, we dissect the unwritten rules that keep travelers on their toes, often leading to uproarious moments amidst the chaos of boarding gates and narrow jet bridges.

But that's just the tip of the baggage tag! We also tackle the moral dilemmas of utilizing travel perks when you're jet-setting with family or friends, navigating the delicate balance between comfort and camaraderie. Should you split up at customs? Is it okay to abandon Grandma in Economy Class?

Through light-hearted anecdotes and keen observations, we challenge the perceived societal obligations and the "no person left behind" mentality, urging listeners to prioritize their personal journeys and forge ahead with confidence. Buckle up. This episode is a belly laugh-filled ride through travelling in partnership.

-----

Justice Graham: Mr. Neil, it is my understanding that the flyers in your party were given but one upgrade despite there being two passengers abreast Spirit Airlines Flight 271 to Cabo San Lucas.

Mr. Neil: Gee whiz Your Honor. You sure summed that up correctly!

Ms: Tess: Pardon, a moment of parliamentary procedure, but were does one find the designated area for urination? As the justly recognized First-Class flyer of the group, I demand proper accommodations for my bladder's needs

Mr. Neil: You see, You Honor? My wife is the cream of the cream of the top of the crop. She deserves the lavish accoutrement of flying at the front of the plane.

Justice Graham: So, in my estimation, there is no need for judicial interference in the case of One Upgrade v. Two Travelers.

Ms. Tess: No sir! We're two root-tootin' rutabagas on the trip of a lifetime. And pray tell, where do you buy your powdered wigs?

-----

Guest: Tess Sorensen

Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

insta: @premeditatedpod

Send us a text

In this gripping inaugural episode of Premeditated, hosts Graham and Neil dive into an investigation involving two college students caught in an unsettling dispute. One believes that denim, of all things, magically cleans itself, while the other is rent utterly aghast by this claim.

As Graham and Neil uncover the case files of their friendship, they unravel the tensions that escalate from a seemingly trivial debate about laundry habits into something far darker. Is this a case of simple misunderstanding, or is there something more sinister lurking beneath the surface, and in the freezer?

Join us as we explore the dynamics of college life, the psychology behind jeans, and how an innocent disagreement might lead to a chilling crime or a chilled pair of pants. With their signature blend of humor and investigative prowess, Graham and Neil get to the bottom of one of the most perplexing cases to date.

Tune in for laughs, suspense, and a twist you won’t see coming.

-----

Justice Neil: Mr. Graham, I must ask you directly: Is it your assertion that denim, without intervention, such as washing, can maintain cleanliness indefinitely?

Mr. Graham: In a sense, yes, Your Honor. The denim’s weave, the cotton fibers, they simply do not hold odor or dirt the way other materials do. Denim, in its infinite wisdom, self-regulates. It breathes. It cleans itself.

Justice Neil: Interesting. You would have us believe that denim, as a fabric, has inherent qualities beyond those recognized by centuries of textile development?

Mr. Graham: Not beyond, Your Honor, but perhaps before. Denim was once worn by miners, farmers, people who had no time or means to engage in frequent laundering. It was made to be durable, practical. And I am merely acknowledging the resilience it continues to demonstrate, even today.

Justice Neil: And yet, Mr. Graham, you do not contend that other materials share these same characteristics?

Mr. Graham: I do not, Your Honor. Denim stands alone in this regard.

Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde

insta: @premeditatedpod