Why does it feel like no matter how much we do, it’s never enough—Including—and especially—in our mothering?

It’s no wonder we feel this way! Societal changes have created a culture that ties worth to performance, often at the expense of our health and happiness, while macroeconomic trends that have shifted the way we think about work, education, and success, making it entirely focussed on external standards of achievement.

In this thought-provoking episode, I sit down with Jennifer Wallace, journalist and author of Never Enough, to dive into the toxic achievement culture that’s shaping our lives—and the lives of our kids.

Together, we explore how this relentless pursuit of external success is leaving us exhausted, disconnected, and questioning our self-worth. We also dig into what really matters—connection, purpose, and a sense of belonging—and how we can reclaim these values for ourselves and our families.

Join us as we go deep into our own personal journeys as women and moms, and along the way talk about:

• The Cost of Toxic Achievement: Macroeconomic trends—like rising inequality, job instability, and the increasing cost of living—are amplifying the push to achieve at any cost. But the evidence is clear: more external success doesn’t lead to happier or healthier lives.
• What We’ve Lost: The modern obsession with productivity has left less time for the things that truly nourish us—community, hobbies, connection, and learning for its own sake.
• The Power of Mattering: Kids thrive when they feel valued for who they are, not what they accomplish. And it’s up to us as parents to model that sense of worth by healing our own relationship with achievement—including feeling that the our kids’ success is a measure of our own worth, from where they were born to how long they breastfed to what schools they go to and who they are as adults.
• Healing Generational Wounds: Unexamined beliefs and "ghosts" from our own upbringing often push us toward extrinsic measures of success. By addressing these wounds, we can break the cycle and redefine what matters for ourselves and our kids.
• Reclaiming What Matters: Research shows that relationships—not status or money—are the strongest predictors of happiness, fulfillment, and resilience. We explore practical ways to prioritize relationships, joy, and intrinsic fulfillment over endless striving and external rewards.

If you’re ready to let go of the pressure to achieve and embrace a more meaningful, connected life, this episode is for you. Share it with a friend who might need the reminder that they’re already enough, and let’s start a movement toward true fulfillment—together.

This episode is a compassionate call to reevaluate what really matters. The relentless push for more isn’t the path to happiness, for ourselves, or for our kiddos. Instead, it’s connection, purpose, and a sense of belonging that truly nourish us.

📖 Never Enough by Jennifer Wallace offers even more insights and is a must-read for parents and caregivers.

💬 Let’s continue this conversation on Instagram: @DrAvivaRomm.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of unresolved trauma and its psychological, emotional, or even physical effects from one generation to another. This phenomenon can manifest in various ways, impacting individuals' mental health, coping mechanisms, and relational patterns. The cycle of intergenerational trauma underscores the importance of acknowledging, understanding, and actively addressing inherited wounds to break free from its influence on future generations.

On today’s On Health episode, I’m joined by the incredible Mariel Buque, PhD, author of Break the Cycle: who wants us all to learn to unravel the threads of family trauma, and becoming cycle breakers so we can heal the burdens of suffering carried forward by so many families across generations.

In this powerful episode, we explore:

• What intergenerational trauma is and how it can affect our physiology, mental health, relationships, economics, and more.
• The profound connections between our individual experiences and the echoes of our ancestors' pain.
• Resilience and stress tolerance as essential tools for breaking the intergenerational trauma cycle.
• How to expand your window of resilience and respond to life's challenges with greater awareness and purpose."
• How compassion becomes a powerful ally, fostering understanding and acceptance of our shared human struggles."
• How mothers can be preemptive cycle breakers, initiating the healing journey even before conceiving.
• The landscape of family estrangement and tools for reconciliation before resorting to estrangement.
• Mariel's approach centers around the concept of an upward spiral, emphasizing small, consistent mindful actions for reshaping the nervous system.

Resources for those seeking guidance, including Mariel's book, "Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma."

Join us in this episode's transformative conversation on health, healing, and well-being, as we become architects of a future unburdened by the weight of generational pain.

Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow me on Instagram @dr.avivaromm to join the conversation.

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Imagine being told you had a “hostile uterus” and sent home, only to discover later you were on the brink of a life-threatening pregnancy complication.

This isn’t fiction. Terms like “hostile uterus” and “irritable uterus” are still in use, and they’re dangerous. In conventional medicine, language like this often subtly blames women’s bodies for medical events, creating a culture where women who advocate for themselves are frequently dismissed—or even labeled “difficult.” Disturbingly, some women, particularly Black mothers, have faced extreme consequences like social services or even police intervention for simply speaking up during labor.

The stakes are high. Medical and obstetric trauma are a reality for far too many, and symptoms of PTSD are often brushed off as “just part of the experience” instead of being acknowledged as trauma caused by medical mistreatment. This climate of dismissal causes many women to skip important screenings and healthcare visits, increasing their health risks.

In this episode, I sit down with Leah Hazard, a midwife, activist, and author who, like me, has seen firsthand the impact of misleading language and inconsistent protocols on women’s health. We discuss the urgent need for self-advocacy in healthcare, why it often feels like an uphill battle, and the unsettling inconsistencies in obstetrics. Leah explains how synthetic oxytocin (Pitocin)—a drug widely used to induce or speed up labor—is administered with inconsistent protocols across hospitals, affecting labor experiences, breastfeeding success, and postpartum mental health.

• The Hidden Power of Words: We explore how terms like “hostile uterus” subtly place blame on women’s bodies, fueling a culture that sees women as “difficult” when they advocate for themselves.
• The Impact of Medical Dismissal: Leah shares real-life stories of women whose symptoms were dismissed, leading to delayed or inadequate care—even in life-threatening situations.
• Birth Trauma and Mental Health: Medical trauma affects a shocking number of women, with many experiencing PTSD symptoms that are often minimized or overlooked, leaving lasting emotional scars.
• Inconsistent Pitocin Protocols: Leah uncovers how the administration of synthetic oxytocin (Pitocin) varies greatly across hospitals, impacting everything from labor experience to breastfeeding outcomes and postpartum mental health.
• The Essential Need for Self-Advocacy: We discuss why knowing your body—and the language around it—is crucial in navigating a system that too often undermines women’s voices.
• A Call to Change the Narrative: This episode isn’t just for those with a womb; it’s a call to examine how society, medicine, and language intersect in women’s health, challenging us to create a more compassionate healthcare experience.

If this episode resonated with you, consider taking action by sharing it with a friend or leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform. Don’t miss out on future episodes! Make sure to subscribe to On Health for more conversations like this one, bringing you expert insights and empowering you to take control of your health and well-being.

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to