Shame can’t survive being spoken—but in many marriages, it’s never given the chance.

In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ, we’re joined by Steve O’Connor, founder of Catholics Fight Porn, for a vulnerable and eye-opening conversation about the hidden impact of guilt and shame in marriage.

We explore:

🔹 The critical difference between “I made a mistake” (guilt) and “I am the mistake” (shame)
🔹 How shame fuels cycles of secrecy, isolation, and emotional disconnection
🔹 The surprising ways shame shows up—from sexual struggles to money to emotional avoidance

You’ll also learn practical strategies for:

✅ Recognizing shame-based patterns in your relationship
✅ Creating safety for honest, vulnerable conversations
✅ Turning moments of exposure into moments of connection

Steve shares deeply from his work and personal journey—emphasizing the healing power of faith, support systems, and full disclosure in restoring intimacy and rebuilding trust.

Whether you’ve battled shame silently or you’re walking with a partner who is, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming pain into deeper love.

Listen in—and discover how facing shame together can lead to healing, freedom, and deeper connection.

Resources:

CATHOLICS FIGHT P0RN

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts for the journey by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337

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-Join the Finally Free Coaching Group: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/need-help
-Book a Complimentary, Confidential Call with Steve: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/contact
-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
-Connect with Steve on Instagram @catholicrecovery
-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.

Can marriage be the most underrated health intervention of all time?

In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we explore the powerful link between marriage and your physical and mental health—and the research might surprise you. From lower mortality rates to a dramatic drop in substance abuse, the science suggests that a strong marriage might be more effective than some medications when it comes to long-term well-being.

We break down fascinating findings, including:

💗 Why married people have lower mortality rates and better heart health

🧠 The connection between marriage and reduced risk of depression, substance abuse, and cognitive decline

🎗️ How marriage impacts cancer diagnosis, survival rates, and recovery

📉 Why marriage can lead to up to a 70% reduction in substance abuse

Whether you're married, dating, or still figuring it all out, this episode offers research-backed insights and practical takeaways on how relationships shape our health—for better or worse.

Join us as we unpack:

• The gender gap in marriage-related health benefits

• Why marriage quality matters more than just your relationship status

• The critical role of social support in your overall wellness

  
  

You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of why investing in your marriage might be one of the best things you can do for your body, mind, and future.

“Simply being married decreased their substance abuse by 60 to 70%.” — Dr. Heidi Hastings

Hit play to find out why your relationship might be your most powerful prescription yet. 🎧💬

#MarriageIQ #RelationshipHealth #Wellness #ScienceOfMarriage #MentalHealthMatters

00:00:01
Introduction to Marriage iQ and Episode Topic

00:05:30
Marriage and Mortality Rates

00:15:45
Cardiovascular Health and Marital Status

00:25:20
Marriage's Impact on Mental Health

00:35:10
Quality of Marriage and Health Outcomes

00:00:02
Introduction to Marriage iQ Podcast

00:00:34
The Health Benefits of Marriage

00:06:54
Marriage and Heart Health

00:10:26
Marriage and Cancer Outcomes

00:13:43
Marriage and Lifestyle Habits

00:15:07
Marriage and Mental Health

00:21:33
Quality of Marriage Matters

00:25:35
Correlation vs. Causation in Marriage and Health

00:28:16
Gender Differences in Marriage Benefits

00:30:15
Conclusion: The Importance of Quality Relationships

Key Insights on Marriage and Health:Why This Episode Matters:

Ever feel stuck in the same relationship patterns—whether in your marriage, parenting, or extended family? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we uncover the hidden forces shaping your relationships through family systems theory with Dr. Kathleen Smith, therapist and author of True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How Family Systems Theory Explains Your Relationship Struggles Dr. Smith breaks down Murray Bowen’s groundbreaking work on how families operate as living, interconnected systems. Discover:

• Why one person’s behavior shift can transform an entire family dynamic

• How deeply ingrained family patterns affect your marriage, parenting, and self-growth

• The power of "zooming out" to see your relationship challenges more clearly
  

✅ Anxiety in Relationships: How It Shapes Your Reactions Are you responding to real threats or just your brain’s anxiety-driven patterns? Learn how to:

• Recognize anxiety’s hidden role in your relationship struggles

• Stop mind-reading and making harmful assumptions about your spouse

• Replace reactive emotions with curiosity and intentionality
  

✅ Over-Functioning vs. Under-Functioning: Are You Doing Too Much? Many couples fall into an imbalance where one partner over-functions (takes on too much responsibility) while the other under-functions (avoids challenges). Dr. Smith shares:

• The telltale signs of these patterns in marriage and parenting

• How they impact intimacy, communication, and emotional connection

• Practical strategies to rebalance your relationship and foster mutual growth
  

Why This Episode Matters By understanding family systems theory, you’ll gain a fresh perspective on why you and your spouse react the way you do—and how to shift your patterns for a healthier, more fulfilling marriage.

Listen now to start breaking free from old dynamics and building stronger, more intentional relationships!

Subscribe to Marriage IQ for more expert-backed insights on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth.

#MarriageIQ #FamilySystemsTheory #RelationshipPatterns #MarriageHelp #EmotionalHealth #SelfGrowth

Ever wonder why you and your partner seem to have the same argument on repeat? Or why small misunderstandings escalate into full-blown conflicts? The answer may be lurking in your mind’s unconscious shortcuts—cognitive biases that silently shape your marriage.

In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we uncover six powerful biases that influence how you see, interpret, and react to your partner—including the self-serving bias (where we magnify our own good intentions but fixate on our spouse’s mistakes) and the confirmation bias (where we unknowingly seek proof that we’re right—even when we’re not).

We start with a raw, real-life moment from our own marriage—an airport miscommunication that turned into unexpected tension—before breaking down:

🧠 The 6 Hidden Biases in Marriage 1️⃣ Implicit Bias – The “default settings” you bring into love 2️⃣ Perceptual Bias – How your “marriage glasses” distort reality 3️⃣ Self-Serving Bias – Why we see ourselves as the hero of the story 4️⃣ Attribution Bias – Assuming the worst about your partner’s intentions 5️⃣ Confirmation Bias – Why we seek proof that supports our beliefs (for better or worse) 6️⃣ Expectation Bias – The “Disney effect” of unrealistic relationship ideals

🔥 How to Break Free from These Biases: ✅ Reprogram your mental defaults to stop destructive patterns ✅ Shift your perspective and practice curiosity over assumption ✅ Balance self-reflection with genuine empathy for your partner ✅ Reframe negative attributions and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt ✅ Challenge assumptions and seek the whole truth—not just the parts that confirm your fears ✅ Communicate openly about expectations (and ditch the fairy tale scripts)

We also bust common myths—like the idea that happy couples are immune to bias or that these mental shortcuts are impossible to change. Spoiler: They’re not!

If you’re ready to see your marriage through clearer, more compassionate eyes, this episode is your guide to breaking free from destructive biases and building a smarter, stronger, and more connected partnership.

🎧 Tune in now and start seeing your relationship in a whole new light!

In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we dive deep into how limiting beliefs and past traumas unknowingly impact relationships. Joining us is Jenn Pinkerton, a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist, who unpacks how childhood experiences shape adult behavior—especially in love and intimacy.

Jenn reveals how attachment styles, self-awareness, and communication patterns can either strengthen or sabotage your marriage. She shares practical strategies for creating emotional safety, regulating your nervous system, and using reflection as a tool for transformation.

If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships—or how to break free from old wounds—this episode is for you. Tune in for expert insights and actionable steps to heal, connect, and build a thriving partnership.

Many couples find themselves struggling to maintain their relationship once children enter the picture. The demands of parenting can easily overshadow the needs of the marriage, leading to less happiness and more conflict. However, it's crucial to remember that your marriage is the bedrock of your family unit.

Parenting is undoubtedly one of life's greatest adventures, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your marriage. By prioritizing your relationship, you're not only investing in your own happiness but also creating a stable, loving environment for your children.

Remember, it's not about choosing between your spouse and your children. It's about recognizing that a strong marriage is the foundation of a happy family. By nurturing your partnership, you're giving your children the greatest gift: a model of a loving, respectful relationship.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, we get real about our own struggles with balancing marriage and parenting. We share vulnerable insights and practical tips on how to keep the spark alive, even in the midst of parenthood.

Tune in for strategies to strengthen your marriage, deepen your connection, and create a family life that thrives. Your marriage—and your kids—will thank you for it.

In this game-changing episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with relationship expert Monica Tanner, who reveals the transformative power of asking for what you truly need in a relationship. Monica, a seasoned relationship educator and coach, dives deep into the strategies that can strengthen communication, foster intimacy, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage.

Unlock the Power of Effective Requests:

Monica shares a powerful, 3-step process to help couples get their needs met—and it's simpler than you think:

1. Be Willing to Change – Stop waiting for things to magically improve. Take the first step by voicing your needs at the right moment.

2. Be Clear & Specific – Say exactly what you need in a way your partner can easily understand and act upon.

3. Show Gratitude – Celebrate every small step your partner takes toward meeting your needs, reinforcing connection and positive change.

Bringing the Request Process to Sensitive Topics

Monica reveals how this approach can completely transform conversations around more delicate issues—like sexual intimacy. By practicing clear, empathetic communication, you and your partner can find ways to meet each other's needs without the awkwardness or tension that often arises.

The Art of Relationship Repair:

Even the strongest relationships face challenges. Monica breaks down how to repair emotional rifts with a powerful, 4-step approach that helps you reconnect and rebuild trust:

1. Start with Love – Remember, you want what’s best for your spouse because you love them.

2. Describe the Situation – Stick to facts, not blame.

3. Share Your Feelings – Express how it made you feel, without attacking.

4. Request Change – Be clear about what you'd like to see moving forward.

Why This Matters:

This episode arms you with real, practical tools to:

• Enhance communication

• Strengthen intimacy

• Navigate tough conversations

• Foster a relationship built on mutual understanding and respect

If you're ready to transform your relationship and learn the art of asking for what you need (without guilt or frustration), don’t miss this episode! It’s the key to a healthier, happier partnership.

Listen now and start mastering the art of marital requests and repairs today!

Feeling stuck in pain, betrayal, or resentment in your marriage? You’re not alone. But what if the path from victimhood to empowerment was closer than you think?

In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we confront the difficult but crucial topic of victimhood in relationships—how it takes hold, why it keeps us stuck, and most importantly, how to break free. Through real-life examples, we unpack how shifting your mindset can transform even the most painful experiences into catalysts for growth, strength, and deeper connection.

🔥 What You'll Learn:
✅ The hidden ways trauma shapes your marriage dynamics
✅ How to grieve past wounds without staying trapped in resentment
✅ The key to regaining control—without waiting for your spouse to change
✅ Practical strategies to move from feeling stuck to feeling strong

Whether you're working through a betrayal, struggling with unmet needs, or simply looking to reclaim emotional resilience, this episode will give you the tools and perspective to break free. Because healing doesn’t depend on what’s been done to you—it depends on what you choose to do next.

🎧 Listen now and take your first step toward emotional freedom.

🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and drop a comment—what’s one mindset shift that helped you reclaim your strength in marriage? #MarriageIQ #EmotionalResilience #HealingTogether