Influence begins before a single word is spoken. Your presence, actions, and energy in the “nearby but not engaged” space are already shaping how others perceive you. This often-overlooked stage of interaction is where silent impressions form—and they can be more powerful than anything you say later.

In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori explores how to master this subtle yet critical phase of influence. You’ll learn:

• Why “it starts before it begins” is a game-changing principle for conversations, meetings, and networking.

• How small, authentic gestures—like holding a door, picking up trash, or simply showing patience—radiate character and draw people toward you.

• Ways to deliberately influence others nonverbally, just by how you carry yourself in public spaces.

• How the pickup artist concept of “pre-selection” (minus the sleaze) shows the power of being observed in positive interactions.

• Why being intentional in moments of waiting—at the grocery line, before a meeting, or even on public transport—sets the stage for better engagement.

The secret? Build a magnetic presence by perfecting your character. When who you are shines in those unspoken moments, you create trust and rapport before the conversation even starts.

Links and Resources:

• Get Dr. Tori’s book: HypnoticGiftsBook.com

• Apply for 1:1 Influence Immersion Coaching

• Join the Influence Book Club

Listen now and learn how to influence powerfully—without saying a word.

Here are compelling show notes for episode 058 of The Influence Every Day Show:

When we strip away context, we strip away meaning - and often, we misjudge what’s in front of us.

In this powerful episode, Dr. Ed Tori shares a deeply personal story: his mother’s recent hospitalization. On paper, her condition might seem dire. But a single sentence changed the room every time: “Just seven days ago, she was on my deck writing her fifth book.” That one line reframed the entire situation for nurses, doctors, and therapists alike - and it lit a fire of urgency, hope, and action.

This episode isn’t just about a medical scare - it’s a masterclass in influence. You’ll learn:

• Why context is the gateway to compassion and accurate decision-making

• How repeating a key narrative can ripple through systems and shift outcomes

• The subtle power of anchoring people in a story - not just a snapshot

• Why your words can either lower the bar or raise the standard

If you lead, teach, care for others, or solve problems for a living - this is essential listening. Influence starts not with advice, but with understanding.

Want to transform conversations and influence ethically every day?

Get the free book: HypnoticGiftsBook.com

Apply for 1-on-1 coaching: DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1

Episode 057 - Stop Trying to Change Your Emotions With Other Emotions

The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Tori

When you’re stuck in a spiral of self-judgment, regret, or overwhelm, the typical advice is to feel something different - to force your way into gratitude, joy, or peace. But here’s the truth: emotions don’t change emotions.

Actions do. (Frames and contexts can too, but let's focus on action...)

In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori dismantles the myth that emotional states can be shifted by sheer force of will. You’ll discover:

• Why saying “I should” or “I need to” or "I should just be" only deepens emotional ruts

• The reason “Don’t worry, be happy” is terrible advice

• What to do instead when you’re stuck, spiraling, or snapping at others

• How to leverage behaviors, not feelings, to shift into more resourceful states

• A powerful real-world coaching story about emotional spirals, calendar design, and strategic behavior change

You’ll also get an introduction to a practical framework for influence that includes States, Frames, Patterns, and Contexts - and why you don’t fix a state problem in the state bucket.

Free Resource: DrTori.com/101

Download 101 practical actions to manage your state - no email required.

Ready to change your day, your impact, or your relationship?

Stop wrestling with your emotions. Take action instead.

Rate & review the show, share it with someone who needs it, and explore more tools at DrTori.com

Want to go deeper? Grab the free book at HypnoticGiftsBook.com