"Chase passion, not pension" - but how do you actually figure out what you love?

Robin Speculand nailed this. At 34, he was making VP money at Citibank — but still didn't know what his "passion" was.

So he did something most of us never do: He stepped off the treadmill and took time to reflect.

On a beach, he asked himself:

• What have I truly enjoyed?
• What gave me energy?
• What problems do I see that others miss?

That's when it clicked. Every company had a strategy. But 9 out of 10 failed at implementation. Nobody was solving this. It was a blue ocean.

His passion wasn't "helping people" or "being a founder." It was this specific, unsexy problem everyone ignored.

📌 If you're in your 40s and feeling stuck, maybe passion isn't something you find. Maybe it's something you recognize:

1. Step off the treadmill (take real reflection time)
2. Look at what energizes you (not what looks good on LinkedIn)
3. Spot the blue ocean problem only you can see

Your passion might not be trending. It might be the overlooked thing that quietly lights you up.

And that's exactly why it could change your life.

🎧 Full episode with Robin — How to Live, Episode 98

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/098-designing-life-in-your-forties-with-robin-speculand

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𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦.

We're taught to "man up" and handle everything alone.

When we struggle, we don't reach out. When friends share problems, we jump straight to solutions.

We think asking for help is weakness. We think giving advice is helping.

But here's what we miss: We never build emotional safety nets.

Women often do this instinctively. They listen first. They create space. They support before they solve.

The result? Deeper friendships. Stronger teams. And, as research shows, better leadership outcomes.

The best male leaders I know have learned this. They know that sometimes, people don't need your solution. They just need to feel understood.

Men: Try this. Next time someone shares a challenge, don't jump to advice. Ask: "How did that feel?" or "Tell me more."

It's time to redefine masculinity.

🎙️ I explore this with Andrew Reiner in the latest How to Live episode. Andrew wrote the bestselling Better Boys, Better Men and writes on masculinity for The New York Times. We discuss male friendships, emotional support, and why redefining strength might unlock better leadership and deeper relationships.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/097-redefining-masculinity-with-andrew-reiner

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Be interested, not interesting.

𝐈𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Most high performers approach networking like a performance.

Say something clever. Be impressive. Stand out.

But being interesting takes energy. It puts pressure on you.

And it often keeps things at the surface.

There's a better way: Be interested instead.

Ask thoughtful questions. Listen deeply.

Let others do what they love most - talk about themselves.

It's lighter. It's more human.

And it builds real trust. The kind that leads to long-term relationships, not short-term transactions.

🎙️ This shift from performing to connecting is exactly what Ryan Lim, and I dive into in the latest How to Live episode. Ryan's the bestselling author of The Business of Networking, No 1 on Strait Times, and he shares why introverts often make the best networkers, and why curiosity is your greatest tool.

Buy Ryan's Book here - https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9789819423323

Get the first chapter free - https://bit.ly/BizNetworkChp1

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/096-networking-that-actually-feels-good-with-ryan-lim

How to Live Newsletter
Go deeper with articles every 2-3 weeks. No spam.
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