176 When things are feeling less connected, loving and supportive in your relationship than you want them to as a highly sensitive person, there is an excellent chance a lot of it is coming from chronic dysregulation and emotional overload. In other words, stress.

As Hsps, it is hard to NOT feel overstimulated or stressed in our modern lives. I’ve recently shared a fair amount about how this leads to nervous system and emotional dysregulation. Which is, honestly, terrible for relationship health!

But it is a lot more than the outer world that creates this dysregulation and stress. In this episode I dive into the huge thing that tends to create this internal overstimulation– in other words, how we dysregulated ourselves from the inside out!

It's important to SEE this, and how you do it. In this episode I will give you a great starting place.

I also share how to stop this internal dysregulation so you can feel peaceful, and be able to give and receive the deepest love, and have the best marriage.

I honestly think, without understanding what I share in this episode, it will be 1000 times harder to be alive and to be married as a sensitive person (it sure was for me!). So tune in to this essential episode.

SHOW NOTES:

Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2004! Fill out this form to get started.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

175 Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe it’s something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesn’t care. Like you don’t matter. Like you aren’t loved.

Normal for everyone, for highly sensitive women and deep-feeling women, this is extra oh-so-common.

It may very well be true that your partner could be more skillful in his interactions with you. At the same time, so much of the hurt you feel in these moments comes from taking things personally. (Even if, you may not think you do so, listen in to find out for real, because it is a human brain thing, and most people do it to some degree.)

And you can put an end to that NOW.

And you want to. Because taking things personally doesn't just hurt–it costs us big time in our intimate relationships, leading to all sorts of AVOIDABLE pain. . . and diminishment of affection and connection.

I, too, used to take all sorts of things personally, and it hurt me and my marriage. I spent years learning how to put an end to that unnecessary pain, and replace it with the closeness, ease and love I want between my husband and I. I want that for you to.

As you learn to not take things so personally, it will free you up to have way more of the support, connection and loving intimacy you want with your partner.

Listen in to this updated and re-release essential episode, where I dive into 3 big keys to stop taking things so personally so you can feel less hurt and more love everyday of your life.

And don't miss the announcement about the short course you can take to make your habit of taking things personally a thing of the past for you.

SHOW NOTES:

Click here to learn about and join THE STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY COURSE
--7 steps to less hurt and more love every day of your life.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

174 This is a slightly revised episode, updated and re-released because of its importance! Here’s to not tolerating mistreatment, and how to begin the process of influencing your partner to treat you best!

As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with our significant other.

And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatment, and to stand up for the respect we deserve.

All of which is so important to have a healthy loving marriage, especially as a sensitive person.

But sometimes we do this in a way that actually makes us feel even more walked all over, more like a doormat--and in more pain than ever.

So how do we stop being a doormat for REAL? Listen in to find out how.

Hint: it has to do with understanding what we can control and what we cannot ...and then learning how to control what we ourselves have dominion over--which is our own selves….and becoming Un-walk-over-able!

Even if your partner is sometimes unkind, uncool, and disrespectful, you can put an end to feeling like a doormat-- without FIGHTING, and with dignity, self-containment, confidence, and rooted in love for all involved.

In this episode I break down the specifics of what this entails and get you started on the path to feeling strong, empowered, respected, and being treated with the kindness, care, and love you deserve.

SHOW NOTES:
Check out The Stop Taking It So Personally Course, a self-paced course to feel more love and less hurt -- and help you be best positioned to effectively advocate for the loving care you want from your spouse. Or see Hannah's full course shop here.

Work 1:1 with Hannah

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

173 Releasing this one early to help you reduce any Thanksgiving related stress!

We have a TON of sway over how we feel on a daily, hourly, and even minute by minute basis–-as well as on our ability to connect in the deepest, sweetest, most loving ways with our loved ones.

So very much of this comes down to which part of our nervous system is activated at the moment, and knowing how to activate the parts of it we want “on”, and de-activate the parts we want “off”.

There are very specific steps and skills to doing so, of course.

In this episode, I give you 4 “hacks” to help you intentionally shift into the parts of your nervous system that allow you to feel calm, light, at ease, grounded, connected, playful, relaxed, and joyful.

You’ll learn about when use them, what they help with, and exactly how ot do them, so you can try them out for yourself, and get a taste of being in the nervous system states that not only FEEL the very best, but also allow for the best connection, communication, and interactions with your loved ones.

You’ll also find out why patching together “hacks” like these, although helpful, are not the full solution, and what else you need to make happen if you want to truly develop nervous system resilience and regulation, so you can spend the majority of your waking time feeling calmness, ease, and lightness, and be at your emotional and relational best.

Dive in and start feeling better right away.

SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. DOORS CLOSE DEC 2nd. Join here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

172 If there was one thing I could shout out from the rooftops right now to help all intimate relationships –and really all of humankind and our very planet– what I share in this episode would be it. It is that important.

Have you ever felt a sense of your spouse being “against” you, almost like they’re an enemy, a nemesis, a “bad guy” at moments, if not much of the time?

If so, you are FAR from alone. So many of my clients have told me that they feel that way, even if it is only subtle. And the amount of division people are experiencing in general is at a super high level in so many realms. And, of course, one of them is between intimate partners.

Even in this most intimate and sacred of a relationship, it's all too easy to fall into this sense of being against each other. And as our hearts start to feel hardened to them, it’s like we lose touch with the very tender, real, full of feeling human we fell in love with. They become less 3 dimensional, less human.

But what's really going on is that we lose connection with the part of ourselves that can connect.

This is a very common phenomenon, even in relationships that start out great. And it is a prelude to further disintegration of love– and even divorce.

Listen in to prevent this oh-so-common experience from slowly sucking your relationship of love and connection.

You will learn:

• why, over time, we tend to fall into this sense that our spouse is the “Bad Other” (some of the science, and physiology behind it),
• what it has to do with stress and a maladaptation of our nervous systems to our modern lives,
• what to do about it on various levels,
• and 3 specifics steps to melt it away and feel a sense of remembering the tender human you fell in love with

....so you can connect back to the part of you that CAN connect so beautiful and fully–and STAY connected to it.

SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. DOORS CLOSE DEC 2nd. Join here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

As a sensitive or deep feeling person, your nervous system is more reactive. This matters. Because, importantly, your nervous system is the foundation of not just your emotional well-being, but also your relationships well-being— or it’s lack of well-being!

A chronically overstimulated, stressed out nervous system (which, let's face it, most of us have in our modern world, especially as HSPs) is a loving relationship's biggest enemy.

And, so long as your nervous system stays that way, you’re going to have a much harder time in your relationship in every way. You’ll be like a garden without nourished soil: wilting, fruitless, fried, fragile, and dried out.

Listen in to this bonus episode where I announce a very special opportunity for you to break free of reactivity in life and love at the most foundational level, and build a solid foundation of emotional well-being (that grounded safety and nourishing supportiveness that are the very roots of a deeply loving marriage), so you can:

• Diffuse an argument before it even starts, while keeping your wits and feeling grounded.​
• Stop irritability, feeling easily triggered, overstimulation, and bouts of stress and anxiety, and live with a daily sense of security, peace and even lightheartedness. ​
• Stay connected to that big heart of yours when challenges come up between you and your spouse, instead of turning against each other, so you can navigate them with ease and a true sense of collaboration​.
• Always be able to move into the best state of mind to communicate better than ever before, so you can actually get through to your partner in the ways you've always wanted to (but haven't been able to so far) and finally feel truly heard
• and feel deeper connection, love, and attraction to your partner–and even have more lightness and fun together!
• And more…

Listen in to learn more about how to build the best foundation for a great relationship to grow from.

SHOW NOTES:

Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. And join here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

171 If you've ever felt AT ALL uncomfortable to express yourself in any way in your relationship, this episode is for you.

Because, even if you want a loving affectionate marriage, a weird thing may happen that I’ve seen again and again with women I've worked with (and I’ve done it myself, too!) :

You may edit your loving impulses, stop yourself from expressing in certain ways the love you have for your partner, out of fear of how it will be received.

OR you may have a deep truth to share, but you hold back because it may be too uncomfortable.

Either way, by editing yourself like this, you end up feeling helpless to make your marriage more connected and loving, and dimming your power to create a culture of deep positivity and supportiveness with your spouse.

In this episode, you will learn why we do this, what it looks like (you may be doing it without realizing it!), what surprising and wonderful things often happen when you don't do it, and 3 keys to stop overriding your own truth and self-expression in your marriage.

Listen in so as to no longer diminish some of the most incredible parts of you–and so you can pave the way for the deepest connection, loving intimacy, and trust to grow between you and your partner.

SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage so much more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid-November, 2024, as a BONUS you will also get the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship. It all starts by filling out this form.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

170 If you have any chance of having a great –or even just a decent– marriage, there will inevitably be times in your relationship that you need to take a look at your self and how you are approaching your relationship. To self-reflect and take ownership of the ways you are contributing to a less-than-great relationship.

Even if you know how essential this is for making positive changes and having lasting love, it can still, unfortunately, feel painful–if you approach it the way so many people do.

Luckily, I have found a way to take the pain out of facing all this. It can even feel good to look at those sticky, unskillful, or not-so-pretty patterns we fall into…with the right attitude and a good dose of self-support. (I personally find it thrilling!)

I want to share how with you today in this episode, broken down into 7 specific tips.

So listen in so that you no longer avoid doing –even just a little– this extra essential relationship improving meta skill and so you easily can make the loving changes on your end that will allow you to steer your marriage in a much more loving and connected direction.

Ready to feel so much more connected and loving with yourself-- and proud of yourself, too? Listen in.

SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage so much more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid November, 2024, you will also get, as a BONUS, the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-being Course. It all starts by filling out this form.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.