Tired of people calling 17 syllables “genius”? So am I.

In this brutally honest, occasionally unhinged episode of Perfectly Poetic, Allen Mowery finally unleashes his pent-up frustration about the most overrated poetic form of all time: the haiku. From childhood worksheet trauma to seasonal name-dropping, syllable policing, AI-generated nonsense, and the myth of Bashō's frog — no stone (or smooth river pebble) is left unskipped.

Prepare yourself for frogs, fury, and the poetic equivalent of vending machine sushi.

Spoiler: There’s a haiku at the end. And it’s not about coffee.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why your third-grade haiku assignment was emotional sabotage

• The true history of haiku (and how we butchered it)

• Bashō’s frog poem — misunderstood or overhyped?

• The tyranny of 5-7-5 and the myth of morae

• Why “deep” isn’t the same as “short”

• Haikus on dating profiles, bumper stickers, and coffee shop chalkboards

• Allen’s Haiku Manifesto for the modern world

• AI haikus vs. human ones: can you tell the difference?

• A few delightfully petty haikus written out of spite

• Why we should demand more from poetry — and ourselves

Quote from the Episode:

“A haiku is not profound just because it’s small. It’s not a bonsai tree — it’s usually just a dead branch with a filter on it.”

Mentioned or Referenced:

• Matsuo Bashō

• Nick Virgilio

• Jack Kerouac

• 3rd grade teachers everywhere

• Haiku bots (yes, they’re real and yes, they’re terrifying)

Connect with the Show:

🌐 Website: perfectlypoetic.com
📸 Instagram: @perfectlypoeticpodcast
📬 Email: poetic@perfectlypoetic.com
📺 YouTube: @perfectlypoeticpodcast