Episode 182 - Teaching Boys to Be Men - The Role of Protection and Responsibility

The opposite of toxic masculinity is often described as positive masculinity or healthy masculinity. This form of masculinity encourages men to be emotionally expressive, supportive, and inclusive, rather than aggressive, controlling, or emotionally closed off. Positive masculinity is about being secure in oneself, communicating in healthy ways, showing vulnerability, and caring for others. It promotes growth, encouragement, and authentic self-expression, allowing men to define what being a man means to them in a way that is adaptive, prosocial, and socially responsible

While toxic masculinity is associated with dominance, aggression, and emotional insensitivity, positive masculinity emphasizes traits such as honesty, openness, empathy, and the willingness to protect and support others without resorting to harmful behaviors. It also involves striving for personal growth, building healthy relationships, and contributing positively to family and community.

Some sources also refer to this opposite as heroic masculinity or simply humanity, highlighting the idea that men can embrace both traditionally masculine and feminine traits in a balanced and authentic way.

In summary, the opposite of toxic masculinity is a version of masculinity that is emotionally healthy, inclusive, supportive, and rooted in positive values and personal authenticity

For young men, it’s valuable to restore an aspirational vision of masculinity-one that can serve as a positive code of conduct.

Embracing either masculinity or femininity, depending on what feels natural, is perfectly valid. When it comes to masculinity, three key pillars stand out: being a provider, a procreator, and a protector.

Provider:

Men should consider taking economic responsibility for themselves and their households, especially early in their careers. Sometimes this means being the primary earner, and other times it means supporting a partner who excels in that role by contributing in other important ways at home. True masculinity includes supporting your partner and stepping up wherever needed.

Procreator:

The drive to seek romantic connection can be a force for personal growth if channeled positively-helping men become kinder, stronger, and more attentive to themselves and others. Simple acts like taking care of your appearance and initiating contact matter. Despite changing social narratives, many women still appreciate when men take the initiative in a respectful and safe way.

Protector:

A core aspect of masculinity is the instinct to protect-not just physically, but also by standing up for others in social situations. Whether it’s ensuring people feel safe in public or defending those who are being unfairly criticized, men should default to a protective stance. This extends to advocating for anyone who is being marginalized, regardless of personal beliefs.

Ultimately, masculinity can be a positive guidepost. If you strive to give more than you take, contribute to your community, and protect and support those around you, you embody the best of what it means to be a man.

Watch the clip referenced - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMBTB3KG7/

https://profgmedia.com/

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music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 181 - Calm in the Storm - Teaching Your Kids Resilience Through How You Handle Adult Bully Encounters

Navigating Adult Bullying and Teaching Kids Resilience

Bullying isn’t just something kids face at school-it happens among adults too, often fueled by power imbalances, insecurity, or patterns learned in childhood. Adult bullies use tactics like gaslighting, exclusion, verbal aggression, and undermining others’ credibility. The effects don’t stop at work or in the community; they can spill over into family life, shaping how our children learn to handle conflict.

So, how can you respond in the moment? One approach is to practice detached empathy-acknowledge the bully’s concerns without getting pulled into an emotional tug-of-war. For example, you might say, “I hear your concern, but let’s focus on the facts.” Another helpful tool is the BIFF technique: keep your responses brief, informative, friendly, and firm. You could say, “I’ll review those numbers and send you an email confirmation by 3 PM today.” Setting boundaries is also key. In public, you might respond with, “Let’s continue this conversation when we can both speak respectfully.” In the workplace, it’s important to document interactions and, if needed, say, “I’m documenting this interaction per our harassment policy.”

For long-term protection, keep records of all communications-save emails, texts, and notes with dates and times. Building a support network at work or in your community can make a big difference; having witnesses to interactions can help if things escalate. Advocate for clear anti-bullying policies and request conflict resolution training in your organization to create a safer environment for everyone.

As parents, we have an opportunity to model healthy ways to handle bullying for our kids. Talk through your process out loud, such as, “I felt upset when that happened, so I’m taking deep breaths first.” Show them what assertiveness looks like by using “I” statements, like, “I need to finish my work without interruptions.” After a tough situation, have a conversation with your child about how you handled it and discuss ways they might respond if they face something similar.

There are times when it’s necessary to escalate the situation, especially if there are physical threats, discrimination, or repeated sabotage at work. Don’t hesitate to reach out to community resources like mediation services or helplines such as BullyingCanada. If things continue, it may be time to involve HR, legal counsel, or even law enforcement.

Key Takeaway:

How you respond to adult bullies isn’t just about protecting yourself-it’s a live lesson in dignity, boundaries, and emotional intelligence for your kids. By handling bullies thoughtfully, you’re helping your children grow into adults who can face conflict with courage and grace.

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 180 - What The Goldbergs’ Murray Teaches Us About Raising Independent Kids Today

Murray Goldberg, the gruff-yet-lovable patriarch from The Goldbergs, offers a unique lens on fatherhood rooted in the 1980s-a time before parenting books, viral videos, and constant digital connectivity. While his methods might seem outdated or blunt by today’s standards, there are foundational lessons from Murray’s character that remain relevant and valuable as we move into 2025.

1. Instilling Independence and Resilience

Murray’s approach was often to say “no” and let his kids fend for themselves, believing that self-reliance was key to preparing them for the real world1. In an era of helicopter parenting, this lesson is a reminder that giving children space to solve their own problems helps build confidence and resilience-skills that are just as critical now as they were in the ’80s.

2. Showing Love in Unconventional Ways

While not overtly affectionate, Murray’s love for his family was evident in his actions-working hard at his furniture store, providing for the household, and stepping in when it truly mattered. His gruff exterior masked a deep loyalty and commitment, illustrating that love doesn’t always look like hugs and praise; sometimes, it’s about showing up and doing what needs to be done.

3. Embracing Simplicity and Directness

Murray’s personality was simple and straightforward-he said what he meant and didn’t sugarcoat the truth. In today’s world of over-complication and constant spin, there’s value in honest, direct communication. Being clear about expectations and boundaries can foster trust and mutual respect in families and workplaces alike.

4. Finding Humor in Everyday Life

Despite his irritation and grumbling, Murray’s interactions were often laced with humor-sometimes unintentionally so. His “King of the Remote” moments and creative parenting hacks remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Laughter and lightness can defuse tension and bring families closer together.

5. Letting Others Shine

Murray was content to let Beverly run the household and make many of the big decisions. He knew his strengths and didn’t feel threatened by his wife’s strong personality. This humility and willingness to step back can be a powerful lesson for modern dads-empowering others doesn’t diminish your own role.

6. Trusting Instincts Over Trends

In the 1980s, there were no parenting experts on TV or online guides to follow. Murray parented by instinct, relying on common sense and lived experience. While resources are helpful, trusting your gut and adapting to your family’s unique needs is still essential in an age of information overload.

• Encourage independence in kids by letting them try, fail, and learn.
• Show love through consistent presence and support, even if it’s not always verbal.
• Communicate directly and honestly, avoiding unnecessary complexity.
• Use humor to navigate challenges and strengthen relationships.
• Support your partner’s strengths and share responsibilities.
• Balance expert advice with your own instincts and values.

Murray Goldberg may not have won “Father of the Year,” but his foundational lessons-rooted in resilience, simplicity, and authenticity-offer timeless guidance for dads and families navigating the complexities of 2025.

The Goldbergs | Murray And Pop-Pop's Answering Machine War

https://youtu.be/_ejqdlhiPAs?si=1P_rWa4_5n-sHHSy

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