In this episode of Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Ryan Christensen, a professional hypnotist, military veteran, and author of Winter Peace: How to End Inner Conflict and Make Success Inevitable. Ryan shares his journey of overcoming autism, bipolar disorder, and a life of emotional struggles to become a guide for others dealing with deep-seated mental and emotional challenges. Drawing from his own experiences, Ryan explains how men over 40 recovering from divorce can rewrite their past narratives, challenge self-blame, and embrace self-acceptance.

Ryan emphasizes the power of the subconscious mind in healing and success. He discusses how divorce often leads men to blame themselves, but reframing these experiences and understanding emotions as survival signals—not wounds—can lead to transformation. He shares insights on recognizing small victories, reframing beliefs about love and relationships, and shifting from societal expectations to genuine personal growth.

Listeners will learn about the concepts of "the cage" and "the treadmill," common traps that hinder men's progress, and how to cultivate curiosity instead of judgment during tough moments. Ryan also highlights the importance of self-care, reclaiming self-worth, and accepting one’s imperfections to move forward. This episode is packed with actionable advice, offering divorced men a roadmap to healing and rediscovery.

10 Important Topics Covered in the Podcast:

1. Reframing Past Experiences: How rewriting the meaning of past events helps men recovering from divorce redefine themselves and move forward.

2. Self-Blame and Divorce: Why men often blame themselves for failed marriages and how to shift that mindset.

3. The Role of Subconscious Beliefs: How deep-seated beliefs about self-worth influence emotional responses and relationship outcomes.

4. Emotions as Survival Signals: Viewing anger, grief, and sadness as signals asking for help rather than wounds to "heal."

5. Recognizing Small Wins: The importance of celebrating survival and small victories as steps toward personal growth.

6. The Cage vs. The Treadmill: Understanding these metaphors for feeling trapped by societal expectations or past pain.

7. Curiosity vs. Judgment: How cultivating curiosity can help men approach emotions and challenges with openness and growth.

8. Self-Worth and Deservedness: How men can stop questioning their inherent worth and focus on what they truly want from life.

9. Redefining Love and Relationships: The importance of self-love and reframing beliefs about love after a divorce.

10. Practical Steps for Emotional Growth: Strategies like seeking external perspectives, embracing forgiveness, and redefining masculinity for personal development.
    

Ryan’s Main Website

Ryan on YouTube

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In this engaging episode of Don't Pick The Scab Podcast, host David sits down with Michael Read, a men’s coach and creator of The Adaptive Male YouTube channel. Michael specializes in helping men understand healthy masculinity by exploring the intersections of science, psychology, history, and culture. Together, they dive deep into how men over 40 can heal from divorce by reclaiming their sense of purpose, rebuilding their identity, and navigating emotions in a healthy way.

Michael explains how societal expectations and "nice guy syndrome" often lead men to neglect self-care, making it crucial for men to prioritize their well-being and emotional health. He highlights the importance of moving past toxic masculinity narratives, embracing emotional expression, and fostering healthy masculinity based on self-regulation and authenticity. Michael also introduces concepts like "emotional language" and the "shadow self," helping men better understand their feelings and behaviors.

The discussion touches on the unique challenges divorced men face, including the loss of identity, purpose, and self-worth. Michael offers actionable strategies for men to rebuild their lives by engaging in self-care, finding purpose outside of relationships, and fostering connections with other men. He also discusses the evolving role of masculinity across different life stages and how co-parenting can be an opportunity to demonstrate healthy masculinity to children. This episode is packed with insights and practical advice for men seeking to heal and thrive after divorce.

10 Important Topics Covered in the Podcast:

1. The Algorithm of Behavior: Understanding how childhood experiences shape adult behaviors and reactions, and how to reprogram these patterns.

2. Emotional Language: Teaching men to reconnect with their emotions by recognizing physical sensations and associating them with emotional experiences.

3. Toxic vs. Healthy Masculinity: Exploring the differences between toxic traits and healthy masculine qualities, such as emotional regulation and authenticity.

4. Nice Guy Syndrome: Examining how trying to please others at the expense of oneself can lead to relationship breakdowns and self-neglect.

5. The Shadow Self: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow self, where suppressed parts of our personality resurface in unhealthy ways if left unaddressed.

6. Self-Care for Men: Emphasizing the importance of prioritizing self-care to avoid burnout and foster healthier relationships.

7. Rebuilding Identity After Divorce: Helping men rediscover their sense of purpose and self-worth by separating their identity from a failed relationship.

8. Emotional Numbness in Men: Addressing the phenomenon of emotional disconnection and its physical and psychological consequences.

9. Masculinity Across Life Stages: Examining how men’s roles and perceptions of masculinity evolve with age, from physical strength to wisdom and guidance.

10. Co-Parenting with Masculinity: Using healthy masculinity to be a positive parental role model while navigating the challenges of co-parenting post-divorce.

Michael’s YouTube Channel - The Adaptive Male

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Welcome to "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast", the safe space for men over 40 navigating the emotional terrain of divorce recovery. I'm your host, David, here to guide you toward healing, growth, and rediscovery. Divorce can leave wounds, but here, we focus on healing one layer at a time—without reopening the scab. Whether you're struggling to move forward, wondering how to rebuild your life, or simply looking for tools to thrive post-divorce, this is your tribe.

Today, we have an extraordinary guest, Junie Moon, a transformational love coach and empowerment leader. Junie is an expert in helping people heal toxic relationship patterns, uncover blind spots, and create the love life they truly desire. She’s passionate about guiding men and women through the complexities of relationships and helping them embrace healthy, next-level love.

In this episode, we’ll dive into the importance of self-care, rebuilding self-confidence, setting boundaries, and breaking free from destructive patterns.

Junie will also share powerful insights from her expertise in shadow work, helping you uncover the hidden beliefs that keep you stuck.

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare to be inspired. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. You’re not alone, and together we’re going to help you rediscover the best version of yourself. Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast. Let’s get started.

10 Important Points Junie Moon Presented:

1. The Importance of Self-Care: Men often neglect self-care, but proper rest, good nutrition, and surrounding yourself with supportive people are crucial for healing and thriving.

2. Unpacking the Past: Taking time to reflect on past relationships and patterns is vital before moving into new relationships. Jumping into the next chapter without healing can lead to repeating cycles.

3. Beliefs About Women and Relationships: Many beliefs about women—such as “women only want money” or “women bring drama”—stem from past experiences and societal conditioning. Breaking these beliefs is key to healthier relationships.

4. Listening Over Fixing: Women don’t always want solutions; they often just want to be heard. Learning how to hold space and listen without jumping to fix things can strengthen communication and connection.

5. The Role of Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. Knowing what you want and what you will accept helps you communicate effectively and avoid being taken advantage of.

6. Healing Blind Spots with Shadow Work: Unresolved issues from childhood or past relationships often influence current relationship choices. Shadow work helps uncover and heal these hidden patterns.

7. Avoiding the Fixer Mindset: Men and women often fall into the trap of finding a “project” to fix in a partner. This stems from insecurity or a need to feel valuable, but it leads to unhealthy dynamics.

8. The Power of Self-Confidence: Divorce often shatters self-confidence. Rebuilding it comes from trying new things, believing in yourself, and creating a vision for the future that aligns with your values.

9. The Magnet of Repeating Patterns: Without healing, people unconsciously attract partners who reflect unresolved issues. Growth requires breaking free from these patterns by addressing the root causes.

10. Seeking Support: Healing is not a solo journey. Whether through coaches, therapists, or shadow work practitioners, having someone to guide you can accelerate progress and help you create healthier relationships.

Junie’s Website

Junie’s Free Consultation

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