Commuter Comedy's AI-Fueled Fashion Fails and Hyper-Aggressive Hand Dryers for the New Year
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Commuter Comedy's AI-Fueled Fashion Fails and Hyper-Aggressive Hand Dryers for the New Year
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Speaking of the future, have you seen these new AI personal shoppers everyone's talking about? Mine keeps ordering me Hawaiian shirts because it says my personality is quote tropical. I'm from Minnesota! The closest I get to tropical is when I defrost my windshield!
You know what's really getting me lately? Public bathroom hand dryers. Does anyone else feel like they're getting more aggressive? I used one yesterday that nearly took my skin off! I swear these things are secretly training for careers in hurricane simulation. I just wanted dry hands, not a free dermabrasion treatment!
And how about this January weather? Everyone's out here with their New Year's resolutions to exercise more, but Mother Nature's like Nope! Here's some ice for your sidewalk obstacle course! I saw a guy doing his morning jog yesterday looking like a baby giraffe learning to walk. Don't worry, buddy - that counts as cardio AND balance training!
The best part? My AI shopping assistant ordered me ice cleats for my shoes, but they're bedazzled. Because apparently, if I'm going to slip and fall, I need to do it with style! At least I'll be the most fabulous person in the emergency room!
You know what they say - new year, same chaotic energy, just with better technology trying to dress us like we're headed to a Jimmy Buffett concert!
Keep those commutes crazy and those laughs coming! Remember, if your AI assistant starts ordering you questionable fashion choices, just blame it on the algorithm - that's what I do! This is your favorite traffic time comedian, signing off until tomorrow. Stay warm, stay sparkly, and whatever you do, don't trust the hand dryers!
Thanks for listening!