In this episode, Dr. Elizabeth McIngvale and Cali Werner tackle the ways loved ones can unintentionally fuel anxiety by accommodating it. They delve into practical, evidence-based strategies for reducing anxiety-supportive behaviors, enabling both individuals and their families to regain control and live more fully. The hosts share personal stories and expert advice on navigating common struggles like reassurance-seeking, understanding anxiety's ego-dystonic nature, and how to communicate boundaries. Whether you’re managing anxiety or supporting someone who is, this episode offers invaluable insight into creating a balanced and empowered life.

 Key Points:

- [0:06] - Introduction and Purpose of The Anxiety Society

Dr. Elizabeth and Cali introduce the show, focusing on anxiety’s societal impact and the journey to change our relationship with it.

- [9:30] - Debunking the “Understanding” Myth

They explain why it’s unnecessary—and even unhelpful—for loved ones to fully understand anxiety in order to support someone effectively.

- [11:59] - Accommodating Behaviors: Help or Harm?

Insight on how accommodating someone’s anxiety can reinforce it, often sending unintended messages of fragility and incapacity.

- [18:19] - Setting Supportive Boundaries

Discussion on setting healthy, pre-planned boundaries, and how to communicate these changes in a calm, supportive way.

- [27:15] - Goal-Oriented Accommodations

Examples of how to use temporary, goal-oriented accommodations to gradually build resilience without reinforcing anxious behaviors.

- [35:45] - Living by Values, Not Anxiety

Advice on aligning daily actions with personal values instead of anxiety-driven responses to create meaningful change.

Quotable Moments:

- [9:00] - "The goal isn’t for loved ones to ‘get’ your anxiety—it’s for you to trust that you can handle it." — Dr. Elizabeth McIngvale

- [18:55] - "When we support without enabling, we show anxiety who’s really in charge." — Cali Werner

- [27:10] - "Accommodations are stepping stones, not permanent crutches." — Dr. Elizabeth McIngvale

Links Mentioned:

• Anxiety Society Podcast Website: https://AnxietySocietyPodcast.com
• Anxiety Disorders Association of America:https://adaa.org
• Anxiety in the Classroom: https://anxietyintheclassroom.org

If anxiety—or accommodating someone else’s—is taking a toll on your life, it’s time to build a new approach. Challenge yourself or support a loved one in reducing accommodations and reclaiming control over daily life. For more tools and insights, check out the links provided and subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform. Don’t forget to leave a review to help us reach others on this journey toward anxiety-free living.

Mentioned in this episode:

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