Welcome to another episode of BRO CHURCH, where we dive into everything from health care conspiracies to alpha males who are "just a little too serious about themselves"—looking at you, Dave. This week, we’re discussing United Healthcare's very own Brian Thompson, who, in a shocking twist, met his untimely end at the hands of Luigi Mangione. Yes, you read that right. We’ll pay respects, but don’t worry, the laughs are still coming. We’re also talking about a little thing called “Absolute Batman”—the guy who thinks wearing a bat-shaped mask makes him the ultimate authority on justice. (Spoiler: he's really just a guy with a lot of opinions about Gotham.)

Plus, ever wondered what would happen if Bigfoot showed up in Call of Duty? (Hint: It’s not pretty.) Or why chimney fires are the least of your problems when you're hunting cryptids? We also break down the latest pop culture chaos, like the real truth about Santa Claus (spoiler: he's real, and he doesn’t want you to know that), a deep dive into the Joker movie, and, of course, why Colin Farrell’s Penguin might be the best thing in Gotham since... well, ever.

So grab a drink, sit back, and listen to us try to explain how Three Kings are the unsung heroes of the holidays (they brought gifts, okay?). And don’t forget to laugh at Dave, because he’s the reason we’re still having fun in 2024.

Broseph Church, the podcast mascot introduces the podcast!

This week on Bro Church, Dave and Felix kick things off with their usual chaos—plenty of laughs, a little roasting, and the occasional tangent that makes you wonder how we even got here. But then, things take a real turn. A good one, though.

Dave opens up about losing his dad, sharing some deep reflections on their relationship. It’s not just your standard “dad stuff,” either—he dives into how it’s reshaped the way he looks at what being a man means. Newsflash: It’s not just about gritting your teeth and keeping everything bottled up until you explode like an emotional piñata. No, Dave’s here to tell us that we can still hold down the fort and have actual conversations about what’s going on in our heads without feeling like we’re about to turn in our man cards.

Of course, Felix balances it out with some much-needed comic relief, filling us in on the absolute circus his house has been. Picture this: a stomach virus running through his household like a WWE tag team, but somehow, his oldest still graduated from college. Oh, and Dave finally watched a rom-com with his wife, much to Felix’s delight. Spoiler alert: there’s laughter, judgment, and probably a bit too much detail.

And if that’s not enough? We wrap things up with some conspiracy-worthy talk about those suspect drones spotted all over the Northeast. What are they? Spies? Aliens? Just bored tech bros? Who knows—but we’ve got theories, and you don’t want to miss them.

So buckle up and protect ya neck—this one’s a ride.

Welcome back to Bro Church, where we laugh in the face of logic and dive headfirst into the weirdness of life. Felix and Dave are back after a week off, and clearly, too much rest has only fueled their wild tangents and questionable life decisions. The episode kicks off with Felix casually admitting he had no clue about a devastating hurricane about to wreck Florida, because, you know, why worry about that when you could be counting squares on graph paper? Yup, Felix manages to care more about grid layouts than life-threatening storms, and Dave, as always, calls him out on it, asking if Felix has basically amputated his ability to care about the world. Turns out, Felix has perfected the art of "selective awareness"—which, by the way, conveniently excludes anything that involves bad weather, Florida, or, apparently, Puerto Rico. As the convo shifts (because staying on topic is overrated), Felix reveals he's rediscovered the joys of text-based role-playing games. Yeah, you heard that right—text based. No pictures, no videos, just old-school words. And naturally, this leads Dave to point out that Felix has accidentally stumbled into the nerdy depths of Dungeons & Dragons territory. Cue a full-blown geek-out over creating characters, storytelling, and the pure joy of ignoring adult responsibilities in favor of pretending to be a mafia boss with a pocket full of graph paper. It’s the most Bro Church way to dive into nerd culture—accidentally, with zero shame, and while holding a grudge against hurricanes. Then comes the ultimate throwback—Dave reminds Felix about the time he Photoshopped Felix's face onto a Brokeback Mountain poster and plastered it all over their shared workplace. Felix’s reaction? A full-on tool-flipping tantrum while a baffled caterer awkwardly served pancakes in the background. But hey, if your best friend doesn’t publicly humiliate you in front of coworkers with cowboy romance posters, is it even a friendship? And just when you think the episode can’t get any weirder, they pivot to Halloween costumes. Felix, who clearly loves a good theme, talks about dressing up as Rip from Yellowstone, while Dave considers being a Red Dead Redemption zombie that awkwardly shuffles around a Puerto Rican house without saying hi to anyone. Because, you know, that’s totally gonna go over well in a family that sweeps and mops floors like it's an Olympic sport. All in all, this episode of Bro Church is packed with the same unpredictable, chaotic, and completely absurd energy we’ve come to expect. From hurricanes and graph paper to role-playing games and cowboy hats, Felix and Dave manage to cover absolutely everything—except, you know, anything actually important. But that’s the beauty of Bro Church—it’s two bros shooting the sh*t and turning every random thought into an epic tale, leaving you entertained, laughing, and a little bit confused by the end. Catch the next episode, where they’ll probably forget to talk about weather again but might drop some life-changing knowledge about paper clips.

In this episode of Bro Church, things take a seriously spooky turn. Last week, while Dave and I were doing our usual thing, we somehow recorded some eerie voices that we definitely didn’t hear while we were recording. Fast forward to playback, and BAM—what sounds like EVPs (aka, ghostly whispers from the other side) made their creepy debut. October is right around the corner, and you know we love talking paranormal sh*t, so naturally, we had to dive into this haunting mess. Grab your sage, your tin foil hats, and prepare to watch us try to break down what went bump in the audio. Spoiler alert: we’re shook, confused, and (as always) being our usual ridiculous selves while doing it. Enjoy the chaos as Bro Church goes full ghost mode. 👻

Alright, you bunch of degenerates, buckle up for what’s surely our most jaw-droppingly bizarre episode yet — Episode 8: "No Way Out."

First up, we’re diving deep into the P Diddy drama. Who knew we'd be talking about 1000 bottles of baby oil and a cornucopia of dildos? 😳

While we typically find comic relief in other people’s expenses, we’re also not blind to the seriously dark side of things. P Diddy’s seemingly endless list of horrifying misdeeds—from sex trafficking to all sorts of abuse—is no laughing matter. We're dead serious when we say it's time for this guy to pay for his crimes.

But baby oil...? Yeah, we couldn't resist. 😅

And then, folks, hold onto your Mickey Mouse ears, because we’re venturing into the wonderfully weird world of fairy smut.

Yes, you read that right. Fairies. Earth-shattering sex. Exactly zero apologies. There are literally book clubs out there worshipping these scandalously sexy stories of enchanted creatures getting it on.

Felix admits he’s oddly turned on by the thought of a sexy fairy doing the horizontal limbo, while The Dave just sits there, stunned silent. Which, trust us, is pretty monumental. 🤣

But wait, there's more!

We get into all kinds of wildness that’ll make you question your sanity and perhaps, give you something new to whisper about in hushed tones at your next awkward family gathering.

So sit back, relax, and let the scandal roll over you like a wave of baby oil—the really expensive kind. 👀💥