“My Marriage Was Full of Love—and Secrets”: A Therapist Breaks Her Silence on Grief, Shame, and Healing
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“My Marriage Was Full of Love—and Secrets”: A Therapist Breaks Her Silence on Grief, Shame, and Healing
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If you’ve ever wondered what hides behind even the most loving relationships, this episode reveals how a psychologist faced love, betrayal, and loss—and found healing by writing the truth no one talks about.
In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Bonnie Comfort, a licensed psychologist with over 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Her therapeutic focus has long centered on the emotional intricacies of marriage, intimacy, and identity. In her candid memoir, Staying Married is the Hardest Part, she shares the deeply personal story of her own marriage—one marked by love, painful conflict, and profound transformation. Through her writing and speaking, Dr. Comfort strives to challenge the assumption that therapists have it all figured out, using her voice to normalize conversations around sexual shame, grief, and the complexities of long-term relationships.
Throughout this episode, Bonnie opens up about the 33-year journey she shared with her late husband, reflecting on how their struggles often paralleled those of her clients. She speaks with disarming honesty about topics rarely discussed openly—like body image, emotional disconnect, and the shame surrounding sexual incompatibility. Writing became a powerful tool in her healing process, allowing her to explore grief, process loss, and rediscover who she was outside the identity of a wife. Her insights highlight the ongoing connection we can maintain with lost loved ones and the importance of creative expression, vulnerability, and community as pathways to healing.
Tune in as Dr. Bonnie Comfort shares how love, loss, and personal struggle led her to write a bold memoir—offering a heartfelt path to healing and self-discovery after grief.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
Love, conflict, and loss (1:40)
Why therapists write (3:12)
Breaking the silence on sexual shame (4:45)
The illusion of therapist perfection (6:30)
Conversations with the dead (7:40)
Loving more than one person (9:05)
Rituals for grief and rediscovery (13:50)
Saying yes to life again (18:40)
Final reflections and resources (27:00)
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Comfort:
Website
Book: Dr. Bonnie Comfort - Staying Married is the Hardest Part
Let's Connect:
Website
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
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